[5w33713]

Ive been seeing my boyfriend for 8 months now. We had talked about getting married and starting a family and then about 4 months ago we found out I was pregnant. He didn't sound as happy as he said he was, and then about 2 weeks later he told me he was married (but separated for a yr and half) and had 2 sons. A big shock to me, I had asked before we started dating and he said he'd never been married. I said OK, well we can work through this. He was wanting to get a divorce, but due to finances can't afford it. So for me, this turned into a trust issue, something I've kind of battled with anyway. But then I didn't help things on his end with the fact that I've always been friends w/ exes and never had any problems with them before. But he is more a jealous type and does not want me having contact with them. Hes seen several emails that I've sent without thinking and has gotten quite upset, enough to lose trust in me even though the emails were just a hello, how are you? Kind of thing. We both love each other. But then I really messed things up one night when we were talking by saying that I was an idiot for staying with someone who lied to me. I didn't really mean it to come out that way, but it did. I love him so very much and it seems like every time I turn around I push him away. I really want to work things out. We've both been under a lot of stress. He was laid off and I have a 2 hr commute to work. Which is both a financial strain and mental. What can I do to start earning back that trust? I deleted the social networking site I was emailing on, I changed my phone number & email address a while back so no one could email or call me because there was a week that 5 exs started im'ing out of the blue. Help!:(

[70541]

Oookay not many people are going to touch this subject as you can see but listen up... there is a little thing called learning more about your relationship... did he seem interested into his wife... if he has one and is not coping out.. number 2 you must learn since he is married you are a mistress number three talk to him... if he wants to break up you might want to go to a local court and get child support from him second... find some way for his wife and you to meet truth is miss... the guy is a scumbag... please don't be offended.. but he is he cheated on his wife got you pregnant walked away and went back to his wife... you need to seriously relook your choices on him unless you are certain but like the 8 ball says out look is not good... you need to go to court this is the best advise I can give you and I hope this settles easy

[Fiona2003]

I hate to say it, but it sounds like he has a lot more maturing to do before he'd make a good husband and father. There is no, absolutely, no excuse for lying about your marital status. That right there would be a dealbreaker for me. Being a single mother is a big responsibility but if you hold true to that, it will make you strong.

[5w33713]

Ooops, left that part out, we lost the baby at about 6wks. And there's no way he's going back to his wife, he was going to get a divorce this past June as they had been separated a year. But he got laid off. And no offense taken.

[vicariousgirl]

With what you have written, I believe there is no question of you not trusting him. It seems as if you are defending him over and over in your question. How about taking a step back and looking at the whole issue before trying to get him back.

If you think he is really worth your trust, try talking to him and tell him exactly how you are feeling. By the end of conversation, you will probably realize exactly what is happening and if he is as keen about the relationship as you say he is, things will become better.

All the best! :)

[5w33713]

Thanks vicarious