[barossa]

Although my daughter in law is usually nice to me to my face, she apparently wants nothing to do with me, or any of my son's side of the family. She expects all holidays to be spent with her family (they live close, we don't), she expects us to stay at a hotel when we come to visit instead of somebody putting us up (she has a large family and they all have plenty of room), she doesn't acknowledge gifts I've sent her or for my granddaughter. I wonder if she puts them in the trash. I've had no run-ins with her and have no idea why she is like this. She doesn't respond to emails, and indicates that she has no intention of coming where we live to visit for any holidays. I've always been very close to my son, so this really hurts. He says he doesn't know why she's like this, and doesn't know what to do about it. It's especially bad now that there's a baby, because I would absolutely love to be an active, involved grandmother. She seems to feel that her mother is the only grandmother that's needed. Once when I was in town and volunteered to babysit when I knew she had an appointment, she said "my mother takes care of all that." my son doesn't want me to say anything to her about any of this "because i'd end up paying."

I wish I could figure out some way to make things better and to have a happy family life.

[starbuck8]

I don't mean to insult your son, but he needs to grow a backbone, and with all due respect, so do you. You need to have a sit down, face to face conversation with him, or if that's not possible, a private conco with him. Tell him that you want to be involved in your Grandbabes life, and if he can't stand up to his wife, and set some rules, that you will be forced to have a talk with her yourself.

You shouldn't have to be pussyfooting around his wife, or begging for visitation, nor should you not be able to see your son and his child on special occasions. There is such a thing as Grandparents rights, and tell your son you would consider looking into your rights if there isn't something worked out between the 3 of you, that works all the way around.

You have just as many rights, unless there is some legal reason, to have the same amount of time, with the exception of distance, as the maternal Grandparents, and you are entiltled to that.

Tell your son that he is not doing the right thing for his child, by not letting the child get to know both sets of Grandparents, and it is something that both he and his wife will come to regret, as their child gets older.

He has to step up, and tell his wife to back off. This is not about HER. This is about the well being of your Grandbabe.

Good luck! :)