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krissy458 · Mar 11, 2007, 09:13 PM

A few months back I caught my daughter with her hands in her panties. I asked her what in the world she was doing and she told me she was checking for hair. Of course I freaked out and told her I had better not catch her doing it again. Well, today she was standing in the kitchen and she was squirming and I said go to the restroom if you need to go, that its not good to hold it. Then she said I don't have to go. I said what's wrong and she said it feels good. I said WHAT and then she said nothing, that her vigina hurt. Well, I told her to go to her room because I knew she was lying. Ok, what is going on! I keep a very tight ship around my house, so I know that she has not seen this kind of stuff on TV. She is a normal 7yr no problems mentally or anything like that. Is this normal behavior? I understand finding yourself, but I catch her with her hands in her panties a lot. She also sometimes smells like pee. I have taught her how to wipe properly and she says she does, but her panties still smell sometimes. I have never seen her masturbating but I'm afraid that it's coming. I think I would have a heart attack if I caught her doing that! What do I do and what do I say to her? OH MY GOSH HELP ME!!

grammadidi · Mar 11, 2007, 10:25 PM

My goodness! Why are you so upset about something that most children do? Your reaction to this will cause her far more damage that the masturbation will! Please visit this page from a pamphlet prepared by the Centre for Effective Parenting:

Masturbation

This should answer all of your concerns... but please, rest assured that masturbation in children is almost always a very normal act. As children mature, they explore. You wouldn't freak out if she put her finger in her ear would you? Relax and learn.

Oh, and make sure she doesn't have an infection or something. She may not be wiping properly and have one... or it could be a reaction to bubble bath or something.

Didi

NowWhat · Mar 13, 2007, 08:41 AM

I have a 6 year old little girl and from the time she was in diapers (! ) she was touching herself. Most of the time it would be on the outside of her pants - but like anyone, I freaked out. I asked her Dr. about it, to see if it was normal behavior. She assured me it was. That the kid doesn't really know what she is doing - she just knows it feels good. Well, she still does it. We have talked about and our rule is that this is "private" behavior and if she is going to do it - then she needs to go to her room. We are careful not to make her feel ashamed of what she is doing or to make her feel like what she is doing is wrong. It is kind of disturbing as her parent - but like I said, I have checked with her dr. and this is TOTALLY normal.

As far as the wiping thing - even if you have taught your daughter how to wipe - I don't think they really do a good job all the time. They are always in a hurry to get back to what they were doing. So, if she isn't cleaning herself properly, then she may get an itch. I found that the flushable wipes work really well. You should give them a try.

Tuscany · Mar 13, 2007, 08:52 AM

Please take to heart Grammadidi response. She is 100% correct.
Your response could actually hinder your child's natural development.
If it upsets you that much, tell her that that is something she should do in her bedroom away from people. Not in the middle of the kitchen.

vlee · Mar 13, 2007, 12:06 PM

I don't think you need to worry... I have caught my daughter (also 7) before. She was in private and I walked in without knocking. So, now I knock. Everyone learns about it and there is no right or wrong time. Tight ship or not, you can't hide your child's body from her. It really is normal. Maybe you should just speak to her about how it is a private thing that is not to be done in front of others. I don't think you should try to shame her out of it. It's probably time for you to knock on closed doors too.