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After 5year on and off Relationship , how to keep it off!
I and my ex- boyfriend were together for 5 years on and off. We meet when I was 18y.o and he was 20y.o. He was my first boyfriend. I try to move on twice during and after the relationship (I’m always comparing my ex to a guy I meet). We were engaged however I believe he wasn’t serious. He made it clear to me “wait for marriage and he want a baby now”. I know he not good for me however I can't get over him. I find myself thinking about him every day. We talk once a month. It’s hard to talk to him because I have so many mix emotions. I am happy to hear his voice, sad, hurtful, and etc. I will be 24 soon between working and in school. This is my moment to enjoy life however I’m trapped in love with someone that not committed to making this work.
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You're going to have to fill your life with more than just work and boyfriend. Since you're off with the boyfriend, as soon as you get off work you start thinking about him because you have nothing else meaningful to do with your mind. So let's make a list. What are some things you enjoy but don't do? What are some things you used to do but stopped? Things you've always wanted to try and never got around to it? Second jobs? Volunteering/Charity work? People-centric hobbies you could take up? Schooling? You'll have to make this list and seriously jump into several of them. The best life is a full, well-rounded activity calendar that puts you in contact with lots of people all week long. Then, a guy that meets you in that circumstance is most likely a much healthier candidate, too. Meanwhile... you're getting a lot accomplished. Don't worry about thinking about him, that's normal. Just try to minimize the amount of time you have to dedicate to that. |
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In order to break your connection to him, I would figure out what the basis of that connection is.
What is it about him that you like and that you don't like? What is it that makes you feel like you want him around? What do you think about when you think about him? If you could choose what your future with him looked like, what would it be? What is he currently offering you in terms of relationships? If you could answer those questions, then we'd be in a much better position to help. |
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