[nikki3799]

I was in this relationship for a year and a half and now he's gone 3 weeks ago this Friday he was supposed to come to my house and spend the weekend we had talked off and on that whole day so about 7 that night I had started texting him and calling but he didn't answer this went on all night ,on Saturday morning I got him to answer his phone at 9;30 and was short with me can't really say what we talked about just wasn;t nice but after we hung up he turned his phone off till Sunday night ,so at this point I'm pisseed I want to know what's going on well a little background he is living with his friend and his friends wife and kids staying in there basement and his friends sister is allways over there she is divorced and I had a feeling she was there and convienant and sure enough I found out that they are dating he changed his number and lives 45 min. away so I have no contact with him, I JUST WANT ANSWERS we wasn;t fighting we were going to get married he said I was his solemate and we were going to grow old together my kids loved him ,by the way he's 35 and been married 2 times and has 3 kids with those 2 ex wives and don't see the older 2 ,and I'm turning 46 on the 29th so I'm feeling so hurt I'm older and it is hard to find a decent guy at my age I'm worried I won't find anyone as sweet as he was he allways complimenting me was allways telling he loved me and telling me I'm beautiful and then just dumps me ,for ms.CONVIENANT is filling his head with all sorts of kudos and he's eating it up but I do wonder if he will try to come back or call when he gets bored with her and by the way he downgraded a lot I'm very pretty and look young and get hit on a lot so I don't get it he just acts like he turned everything off for me and never thinks about me he won't call to even find out if I'm OK I don't know what to think,and if one more person tells me I'll be OK I'll get over it I'll scream I wasn't this tore up over me and my husband divorcing ,I have tried everything to move on I can't get past WHY!

[ylaira]

He is with someone new now and happy... thats the answer. When someone is happy, he usually forgets other things he might have stepped along the way.

Other people stays no matter how bad the situation is. Why? They love the person enough to bear it all. You may have many things to offer but sadly those are not the things that will make him contented and stay.

Move on. Do not ask for an answer, there's no point. You did your part well and that's enough.

[liz28]

You seem to be looking for closure but you don't always get that. In this case you can only go on the facts and the facts are that he move on to someone else didn't want the same things as you. You have to judge people by their actions and not by what is coming out of their mouth. Also, you should've viewed his character because that speaks volumes as well and a man that isn't a father to their child isn't for me. Let him do what he wants and in the long run it saved you a lot of drama and many headaches. Next time set back and careful view that person and pay attention to their actions and follow your gut. Sometimes you have to go through a few knuckle headad before you find the right one.

[nikki3799]

I would say your right that he's happy but I don't believe it she was there and convienant and its his friends sister who's giving him a place to stay so now he's stuck he can't dump her he has no where to live.and I also agree I should have looked at his character asa father and ran ,but my heart got involved and I got sucked in.

[talaniman]

I have tried everything to move on I can't get past WHY!

Bet you haven't tried strict No Contact, nor read the stickies in this forum. Do so, and see if it helps, and let us know what questions you have.

[nikki3799]

I have read them and there all good ,but I have had no contact that's the problem I have no closure ,he changed his number and just shut me out like I said didn't see it coming ,sounds crazy but I didn't ,I wish I could just wake up and all these feelings be gone and just go back to a single woman .

[ylaira]

i would say your right that hes happy but i dont believe it she was there and convienant and its his friends sister whos giving him a place to stay so now hes stuck he can't dump her he has no where to live.and i also agree i should have looked at his character asa father and ran ,but my heart got involved and i got sucked in.

i have read them and there all good ,but i have had no contact thats the problem i have no closure ,he changed his number and just shut me out like i said didn't see it coming ,sounds crazy but i didn't ,i wish i could just wake up and all these feelings be gone and just go back to a single woman .

Sounds like the you are dumped by a gigolo, irresponsible, di( kless father... that's good. He did you a favor as a matter of fact.

[nikki3799]

Your right he is not a good dad ,and I'm better off without him, my brain knows that but my heart isn't on the same page, dang it *&%#

[liz28]

Don't make excuses for him. You mean to tell me he's staying with someone because he has no place to go? Maybe he should get a job and if he has one and that's not enough then get a second job so he can afford a place to live. Again, you're better off without him. Count your blessing and he's needs to look up the definition of a man but he only does what women allow him to. Don't allow this loser back into your life.

[nikki3799]

Oh he will never be back in my life ,and yes he does work but it's a new job and his friends are letting him stay there I guess they had the whole fix sister thing up planned he pimped out his sister to his friend nice guy ,I can't say I don't want to see him one more time to to say what I need to say.

[talaniman]

You need a better plan that doesn't include him at all, and if you have read the stickies, you know to get busy with something right now, and give yourself the time to move forward, and not be stuck!

This is the place to vent so go to Letters to our exes, and have at it!

Originally Posted by nikki3799
i have read them and there all good ,but i have had no contact thats the problem i have no closure

Take a few suggestions, from those stickies, and actually do them, that will be your closure!!

[liz28]

Stop blaming other people for his actions. It is possible that his friends played a role in setting him up with this girl but that isn't something you know for sure. He could've said no but he didn't instead he did. Nobody put a gun to his head and he is a grown man hopefully capable of making his own decisions and if he can't that another reason to add to him being a loser. Also, he could've left his friend house and got a room,studio, or apartment but he didn't because he like living off people.

Closure, you got it onc he moved on so don't contact him for that and that isn't a reason to contact him, it' an excuse. The longer you drag your feet in letting go the longer your going be stuck. Do you really want to hear any lies or him most likely blaming it on you or others instead of himself?

Turn over a new leaf in your life and move on and one day you meet someone in the future that's going treat you right.

[nikki3799]

Well I'm for sure trying to move on I have to ,he's not coming back I know that now and don't want him if he try's to, he lied he cheated I don't want someone like that in my life or my kids lives ,I sat down lasnight and wrote a letter with all my feelings and what I needed to say and I feel better.

[nikki3799]

And no I didn't mail it I just wrote it and put it up ,

[talaniman]

Good move. Check out "Letters to our exes" that a great place for it.
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...es-154321.html