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starbuck8 · Oct 1, 2008, 12:54 AM

Originally Posted by lovelen

he is coming to me! he calls me to hang out and calls just to talk! hes being really nice &not to get in my pants. to actually keep our friendship going. and hes not going to cut me out because hes the one that is scared to lose me as a friend as of right now. he tells me he loves me and misses me!

Of course he is coming to you. Why wouldn't he? I understand the friend thing, but you are being there for him, and he is not being there for you. He is being SELFISH, and using you in whatever capacity he can. He IS NOT considering your feelings. He talks to YOU about HIS new g/f and asking for your shoulder? Are you kidding me? That is about as disrespectful as you can get! :rolleyes: He has a lot of nerve! And then to tell you that he "loves you"... and "misses you"?. and then goes back home to his girlfriend? Whether it's getting into your pants or not (which you've already said has happened), he doesn't deserve that privilege of being your friend! Friends don't do things like that to friends!! That is NOT a friend! Again, he is USING you for his own very selfish and egomanical reasons, and does NOT care about how YOU feel, or if it hurts you.

LET him BE scared to lose you as a "friend"!! It is not your responsibility to placate him, stroke his ego and help him with his problems. That should be the role of the girlfriend, and not an ex. He caused his problems all on his own, and you NEED to let him solve them all on HIS own! He WILL hurt you again if you keep on being his "friend with benefits" Even the talks on the phone are just a part of a plan to keep you on the backburner "just in case!" He knows that if things don't work out with him and his "latest" girl, that he can call you crying, and you will come running. Trust me... he KNOWS that, and that is how he is setting it up.

Do you really want to be the one that he comes running back to as SECOND best, and then if you were to get back together, always wondering what he is up to when he doesn't answer YOUR calls? He has lied and cheated before! Previous behaviour is the best predictor of future behaviour hon. He is just not going to wake up next month and have an epiphamy, and say... WOW... I am going to be faithful to my ex, and never lie or cheat again in my life, because she has stuck around as my friend with benefits, while I was cheating on my g/f. There are just so many RED FLAGS that are waving in your face here honey, and you need to take those warning signs and tell him that you can no longer be his "friend", because you aren't willing to disrespect yourself in that way. Let him know that there will be no further contact, not even on a friendship basis, wish him well, and tell him you are moving on to bigger and better things.

I saw your pic, and you are too beautiful to settle for someone that treats you like that. Please don't let this one guy define you. Define yourself! I'm saying this to try and spare you from all of the hurt that I went through. I know guys like this backwards and forwards, trust me I do. I learned the hard way! Believe me, I loved my guy too! Don't let that be YOU!

passion12345 · Oct 1, 2008, 03:07 AM

Although majority of people get their wives back quickly, however if you fail to get back your wife back, you will probably need to know in more details about the psychology of girls and will have to apply other technique so that you get your wife back quickly.
Try Magic of Making up

High Max · Oct 1, 2008, 05:40 AM

Originally Posted by lovelen

oh and does "the magic of making up" really work!?

I bought this ebook when I was dumped, I read it and was really skeptical as to whether it would work on my girlfriend, so I never went through with it. As a girl, you have a natural advantage to win a mans heart I think, so maybe. Since this guy is a cheater though, I wouldn't suggest it.

talaniman · Oct 1, 2008, 07:56 AM

i really dont want to hear answers that hurt.. but i know there will be plenty. just help with answers that could help me get him back! I love him! And I care about him so much.

NO CAN DO, SORRY!!!! BUT HERE IS MY HONEST OPINION, AND i HOPE IT HELPS, EVEN IF IT HURTS!

Your denial has led you to a very unhealthy place, and if you continue to let yourself be used, you will never heal, move on, or learn to love yourself, and be happy with who you are.

He doesn't love you, and is using your feelings to hump and jump when he feels like cheating on his current g/f, as he cheated on you. That's what he does, and why should he change when, he gets what he wants, and your sad, lonely, and miserable.

Heal and get a man who at least tries to make you happy, as he will not!

talaniman · Oct 1, 2008, 08:04 AM

Originally Posted by passion12345

Although majority of people get their wives back quickly, however if you fail to get back your wife back, you will probably need to know in more details about the psychology of girls and will have to apply other technique so that you get your wife back quickly.
Try Magic of Making up

He is a she and not a wife, are you on the right thread??

Romefalls19 · Oct 1, 2008, 08:38 AM

If he cheated on his girlfriend with you, what makes you think he wasn't cheating on you on more than one occasion? Leopards cannot change their spots, no matter how hard they try

lovelen · Oct 1, 2008, 10:55 AM

Okay okay thanks to all of you for your advice! I know that I have been in denial and very stubborn about this situation but now I guess the only thing that can help me is to cut him out :( but I will. But what I want most out of this is for him to realize how great I've been to him but if its already been six months and he still hasn't realized it than I guess you guys are all right! I need to stop waiting for him and putting my life on pause.. this is going to be hard but I'm going to try my best! And now I'm glad I didn't waste $40 dollars to buy "the magic of making up" hahaha wish me luck ill probably keep this thread updated (: it makes me feel better knowing people support me.

Romefalls19 · Oct 1, 2008, 10:59 AM

Yep, there are countless of on going threads people post in just to update us and we love to hear about the updates! Don't buy any of those crappy online books about how to get your ex back, if they worked there wouldn't be so many people on this website now would there?

starbuck8 · Oct 1, 2008, 01:13 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

He is a she and not a wife, are you on the right thread????

My thoughts exactly! :rolleyes: I shook my head, and then went to bed thinking, I must have stayed up way too late! :confused:

lovelen · Oct 1, 2008, 07:47 PM

What would happen if I told his new girlfriend he cheated on her with me?

friend4u178 · Oct 1, 2008, 07:55 PM

Originally Posted by lovelen

what would happen if i told his new girlfriend he cheated on her with me?

What are you trying to achieve by doing this ?

lovelen · Oct 1, 2008, 07:57 PM

Mmm when I found out he cheated on me I was mad that she didn't say something to me(I'm friends with the girl he cheated on me with). I would've wanted to know if I was being cheated on, wouldn't everyone? Should I really just let him have his cake and eat it too?

friend4u178 · Oct 1, 2008, 08:22 PM

I just have a feeling your trying to let her know and then maybe she will leave him , and then you would feel you have a chance again.

I would personally leave it and she will find out eventually anyway , why make yourself the bad guy?

lovelen · Oct 1, 2008, 10:50 PM

Yeah true. And that would probably lower any chance that I could ever have with him -_- dumb idea.

friend4u178 · Oct 1, 2008, 10:57 PM

Originally Posted by lovelen

yeah true. -_- dumb idea.

Glad you think so... now move on and stop making him control your emotions.

lovelen · Oct 19, 2008, 03:25 PM

Okay some bad things have happened since my last post. He told his girlfriend that he cheated on her with me for the past month because he didn't like how much guilt it was giving him and she broke up with him and now he doesn't want me either. This is so pathetic

friend4u178 · Oct 19, 2008, 03:52 PM

I think your lucky he doesn't want you. Do you really want to get involved with a cheater. If he cheated on his GF he WILL cheat on you as well.

liz28 · Oct 19, 2008, 04:25 PM

You really need to get over this guy and find someone that want you and you only and who is going treat you right. You will be pathetic if you keep waiting around for him and allow in your life only at his convience. Stop that!

starbuck8 · Oct 19, 2008, 05:52 PM

Originally Posted by lovelen

okay some bad things have happened since my last post. he told his girlfriend that he cheated on her with me for the past month because he didnt like how much guilt it was giving him and she broke up with him and now he doesnt want me either. this is so pathetic

You have noticed what is going on here right? Think about this. HE told HIS girlfriend that HE cheated with YOU, and HE cheated on YOU to begin with. Now HE didn't like how much guilt it was giving HIM! (awwwww) This is a selfish man! He is only worried about how HE feels! This is all about HIM!! He is not worried about you, or the other girl. HE will be moving on to the next. LET HIM! Don't let the door hit him in the a$$ on the way out! He will cheat on his next victim too! You don't want to ride in the "pathetic" boat with him do you? Have more respect for yourself, and find a man that will respect you. Never wait around for a liar and a cheater! You will only end up with a lifetime of hurt.

lovelen · Oct 19, 2008, 06:42 PM

It just really sucks because now he's telling me he's glad that he told her because he can get rid of me now and he's trying to get her back