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    ScarletSea's Avatar
    ScarletSea Posts: 63, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member
    		  
    #1

    Oct 18, 2008, 11:26 AM
    Can't Get Close to Anyone Sexually
    Hey.
    Well, I'm 17 and I'v had a few "one-night-stands" and I know it's probably not the best thing to be doing but I am safe.
    But I just don't feel I could do anything sober...

    I have had bf's but as soon as it gets serious I end it, blaiming it on the fact that I don't like them or want I to be single.

    I really would like to have a sexual relationship with someone but as soon as they get close I back off.

    I don't know why I'm like this all my mates seem to have no problems having bf's but I seem have some sort of insecurity with intamicy. I'm so confused. Please Help.

    Thanks.

    Xx
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
    Software Expert
    		  
    #2

    Oct 18, 2008, 12:53 PM

    Maybe you don't have a problem with intimacy, maybe you have a problem with "lax" intimacy.

    Maybe you know the relationships you've been in aren't "til death do us part" relationships and some part of your mind doesn't really want to do this at all until then.

    Maybe.
    ScarletSea's Avatar
    ScarletSea Posts: 63, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member
    		  
    #3

    Oct 18, 2008, 01:05 PM

    Thank yooo Lbeaucaire for commenting but I don't think that's it because I really don't want to get married... ever lol. Unless it is deep down in my unconscious...
    insomniaticmeat's Avatar
    insomniaticmeat Posts: 38, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
    		  
    #4

    Oct 18, 2008, 01:17 PM

    OK I'm 17 and I'm with a girl now for the last 7 months which for me is a record she had the same issues as you , she got over the problem by making light of it and not getting to heavy go out with the guy get drunk have sex have fun... you don't need to say that you really lik ehim and vice versa that bond juts comes after a while.. sex is fun and if you really lik esomeon it shouldn't be an issue :) good luck:)
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
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    #5

    Oct 18, 2008, 01:42 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ScarletSea View Post
    Thank yooo Jbeaucaire for commenting but I don't think thats it because I really don't want to get married... ever lol. Unless it is deep down in my unconcious...
    That's exactly what I'm suggesting.


    Also, when someone makes a declaration and then laughs, it usually means, "I wish this were true, but even I don't really buy it." Like this:
    Quote Originally Posted by ScarletSea View Post
    I really don't want to get married... ever lol.
    hard_times's Avatar
    hard_times Posts: 27, Reputation: 3
    New Member
    		  
    #6

    Oct 29, 2008, 02:18 PM
    Sex in a relationship is a completely different situation to a one night stand, you actually have to find out stuff about this person, discover what his/her sexual preferences are, and even get feedback on how the sex was, if the relationship is open and relaxed enough. Do you think maybe you have a fear of criticism? From a person you may actually care for? And for this reason run for the hills, when things get to heated. Its just a possible solution I thought could be an answer. Im a 20 yr guy, who prefers relationships weeell above one night stands, but I do feel a lot more nervous (initially) when about to have sex with someone I actually care for, and want to see again after wards.
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