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karrin3 · Oct 14, 2008, 10:07 AM

If thre is a specific time I want the father to see my kids and on what days can he still only see them when and where he wants to? Like if he only wants 7-3 on the weekends and I want 7-8 on the weekends can he still leave at 3? If that is the visitation will he be held in contempt?

karrin3 · Oct 14, 2008, 10:11 AM

Do the kids get to say when they want to see their parents? Or is that all decided by the judge? I mean my ex wants to see them on Saturday and Sunday form 7 am to 3 pm. And I don't think that it's fair to them that there is a time limit. I mean If they want to see him before they go to bed Just because it's past 3 doesn't mean he can't stop by and kiss them goodnight. He lives to close to say its to far.

ScottGem · Oct 14, 2008, 10:13 AM

First, A visitation schedule is set by the court, generally as part of the custody or divorce decree. The non custodial parent can generally not exercise their rights under the schedule if they choose. It also depends on how specifric the schedule is. They would not be helpd in contempt for not exercising their rights. But they might be held in contempt for consistently changing things. For example if the schedule says 7-8 on weekends, and they consistently return the child at 3, the custodial parent could try getting the court to cite the non custodial parent. If the custodial parent assume they will be free from 7-8, they do not have to be home any earlier if they want to go out.

ScottGem · Oct 14, 2008, 10:16 AM

I merged your two threads since they appear to be the same issue.

A custodial parent can always allow visits beyond what is prescribed by the visitation schedule. But the kids generally don't have a say. They can refuse to see the non custodial parent, by they would have to detail why they don't and see if the court will change the arrangement.

karrin3 · Oct 14, 2008, 10:21 AM

I got your post. I want to understand so if I'm gone form 7-8 can't he just drop them off at my mothers house or my fathers house? Wouldn't that just solve his problems?

ScottGem · Oct 14, 2008, 10:22 AM

If his problem is that he can only keep them to 3, but that you want to make plans until 8, then you have to agree on what happens at 3. If you can provide an alternate drop off that is mutually agreeable, that's fine.

P.S. Please do not use e-mail or PMs to post follow-up. Just add an response to the thread as you did here.

karrin3 · Oct 14, 2008, 10:28 AM

Its not that I have plans I probably would be home. The thing is we are still married and going through a divorce but he has a girlfriend so that's why he put a time limit on how long he spends with kids to spend more time with his new relationship.

ScottGem · Oct 14, 2008, 10:41 AM

You can't force him to spend any time with the kids. But for the sake of the kids, you should agree on something you both can live with. Maybe Fri nights he tucks them in and spends all day Sunday with them.

stinawords · Oct 14, 2008, 01:40 PM

You can't force him to stay. What you can do is try to compremise so that you don't chase him away all together.