Check out some similar questions!

liz28 · Oct 12, 2008, 10:17 AM

I just people should take responsibility for their own actions and people need to stop making excuses for themselves and others. I screwed up before in relationships but I admitted to them and blamed no one else. I learned also when your with someone you can be blinded and sometimes you have to step back and be the outsider looking in. I like that quote "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me". People have to stop being foolish and wake up.

High Max · Oct 12, 2008, 10:22 AM

I believe it's honestly possible to come out of a relationship after cheating and become stronger. But each party MUST communicate things thorougly, and she will have to make sacrafices to make up for her sin. If you give her a free pass and just tell her. "Ok, I trust you, please dont do this again" There is a good possibility that it will. You have to make compromise. Show that you are a real man, and you won't be treated like this.

talaniman · Oct 12, 2008, 12:34 PM

Wake up guy, just from what you wrote, you should have disappeared from her life, when she got back from her "holiday with friends"

I hate to be harsh, but you are a willing participant to a female that lies, and IS cheating, not behind your back, but in your face!! That's pathetic. Everything you wrote, CRIES "cheater to every one that reads this, IF NOT, LET THEM SAY SO, and I hope I'm wrong.

Friends?????????????? I don't think so!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chery · Oct 13, 2008, 12:42 AM

I'm still in the air on this one. I think it could go either way, depending how much history you have together and how much trust there has been established. She did get weak, but she also told you about it. And you know her true nature more than anyone, so it's your call.

I can see how hard it is to know that the guy likes her and wants her too, and also that she needs to be able to count on him for rides to class. This is a true test for her too. He might keep on trying to win his 'chase' but she could also be strong, again, you know her better than we do.
So, go and have a talk with her, and also see how things are like while house-sitting. If you don't feel that she is distancing herself from you more - and lets you know that in her heart you are still the one, your bond, trust and emotional ties will tell you what to do.

I can see how frustrating it is for you to tolerate other men wanting your girl, but we all know that we cannot lock people up and just keep them for ourselves, we have to learn to live with some problems, no matter where we stand in life. And this, young man is a real test in her strength to keep other men at a distance and a renewed test on your ability to believe her and trust her. Maybe she'll get weak again, maybe not - but it does seem that she is still truthful to you so far.

So, in my opinion, not is all lost yet.

Either way this goes, just know that we are here to listen and help you as much as we can. Life is not a simple black-and-white line... there can be a lot of gray shades and you are the one having to deal with it. Wish you luck, dear.

Birmo0803 · Oct 13, 2008, 05:42 AM

Hey guys. I saw her on sat night "i went into the store she works t get food" and she spent her 30min break in my car. She said she missed me and might give me a call to see her sun night.

Comes to almost 10pm (she was out with a girl friend) and she gives me a call to say hey how are you etc. I reply, not too good isn't felt too good all day I might go bed. "she replys - awh, i was going to ask do you want to come aroun" (I was jokin, just wanted her reaction =)

I said, sure ill pick you up, she asked to go my house. We watch a movie in my room and we talk. Before hand we went mcdonalds, I asked her so what exactly did u tell the other guy. She said that we made a mistake that almost cost me losing you and there is nothing between us. I believe her.

Comes to about 12 and she asks how tired am I, I'm fairly tired by now. And she asks, well do you want me to stay here with you tonight. (I was shocked) Sure!. so were cuddling and she basically says. I love you so much, I'm so so sorry I made a mistake. I don't want to ever loose you.

So I think were going to be OK. She relises she has made a huge mistake but I guess that is what humans do, we all learn from them..

So there you have it guys, I think were going to be fine. I hope we will get stronger then we ever was before. Thanks to all you who posted.

Rob

High Max · Oct 13, 2008, 05:54 AM

Congratulations Rob, just don't let yourself get walked all over, all right?

Birmo0803 · Oct 13, 2008, 05:56 AM

Don't worry, when were finally are sorted I will have a real chat. Basically saying look what we have now, is it worth losing over another stupied mistake?

Thanks.

broken_arro · Oct 13, 2008, 06:23 AM

I only read the OP.

Trust me, been there, done that.

No matter how much you love this girl, no matter how much you BELIEVE you can forgive her, the thought of her kissing that other guy will ALWAYS be in your head, especially in difficult times in your relationship, when you fight or disagree about something.

Also, keep in mind that it's not 100% your love for her that wants you to forgive her. It's also your broken ego that wants to know you can win her back from this guy.

The minute she kissed that guy, your relationship broke irreparably. And you can't fix what's broken...

Just let it go.

Romefalls19 · Oct 13, 2008, 07:30 AM

Am I the only one who thinks that she is still going to play him? I mean she did it 3 other times, and I would imagine she didn't just kiss the other guy. She has been playing you from holiday and you've hung around and when you said you were leaving, she of course said she made a mistake. One I will bet the farm she will make again

High Max · Oct 13, 2008, 09:45 AM

I personally believe he is putting himself in a bad situation by not putting his foot down about this guy staying in their lives, but it's his decision.

kanicky73 · Oct 13, 2008, 09:54 AM

Unfortunately this is an aged old problem when it comes to relationships and the only tried and true solution is to move on. Yes its hard, yes it hurts. But you are young and this is probably going to happen to you several times before you find the right one. The key words here is "the right one". When you finally meet the one that you are supposed to be with, there isn't any of this nonsense. Everything just fits, you both feel the same and no one cheats!!

Birmo0803 · Oct 15, 2008, 04:39 PM

OK guys, update.

Me and my girlfriend are Perfect now, were stronger then ever. She has told me and I looked into her eyes as she said it and she wants to be with me..

The bad and seriously weired part.

This other guy, I now know he is obsessed with my girlfriend..

He was texting her all morning and she didn't reply. He then sent a final text about 12:00noon asking is she at my house "she was"

We left my house to go to the skip at 1:40 and he was outside my house! A few doors down waiting for her to come out. OUTSIDE MY HOUSE. I was 1mm away from launching myself at him. AT MY FREAKING HOUSE. Hes stalking her. I only relised how bad it was in work speaking to my friend. He was at my house "for god knows how long" waiting for her to leave. My girlfriend told me that he hates the fact that she spends time with me (im like tough sh!t you're my gf" she walked out first and he got out of the car, I then walked out and he got in and sped off. Ive told her, look put an end to this or I will.

She said he's her friend, I told her. Baby, if he's your friend he shoud be happy for you no matter what. Hes not, He is now stalking you. Tell him to back off! So she is going to tell him 2moz. Basically look if your freakin me out, your following me. If your not happy for me then leave me totally alone..

That's a twist I didn't see :/

But yea, thanks guys - me and my girl are fine now. Thanks to all for listening and giving advice? Any thoughts about the update?

Rob.

talaniman · Oct 15, 2008, 08:02 PM

We can only wait and see what actions she takes, that will be soon I hope.

liz28 · Oct 15, 2008, 08:35 PM

If this happened today, why didn't she address it today instead of tomorrow?

Birmo0803 · Oct 16, 2008, 04:45 AM

It happened yesterday. And she was with me all day and then onto work. + when he sped off, if he stayed I would have probably inflicted serious harm. She is telling him tonight guys :)

Rob.

High Max · Oct 16, 2008, 05:18 AM

Tell her to change her number, this should help solve part of the problem. Tell the guy if you see him outside your house stalking or watching you that you will come looking for him if it happens again, do this through her cell before the number is changed.

Birmo0803 · Oct 16, 2008, 05:38 AM

Yeah I will. I was freaked out :/ and really angry.

She might not be going back to college after the half term break. They want even more money off her now, and the credit crunch in the UK sux. So that will solve the problem of not seeing him either.

But yes, 99% of you who replyed and thought it was over. I fought for that 1% and it happened. Love is never lossed. Were OK now, My girl even asked me last night,

"rob can i ask you something"
Me-"what about"
"us"
Me-"ohh deer god, if its bad no."
"no its not - promise me you will be with me forever?"

Me-" :D :D of course i will, i aint going anywhere"

So there you have it guys. I think were OK. Stronger. Having more fun. Thank you guys.

Rob.

kanicky73 · Oct 16, 2008, 02:39 PM

Glad things worked out, just don't be blind. Love can do that, if things get weird again. Step outside of the box and take a look, things may be a little clearer if you know what I mean. Good luck! I wish you happiness!

Birmo0803 · Jan 20, 2009, 06:00 AM

3-4 month on update. We are happy, and we are young'ish but we decided the best way to show everyone how much we love/want to be with each other, is to go further.

We are now engaged. As from Christmas Night. Im so happy now it feels unreal. Lets see what the future holds.

Thank you Rob