[tchur1]

My 28 year old daughter has had her "blinders" on for several years.
She is always making excuses for things she says she's going to do but
Ends up not doing them.
I helped her sell her car because it would've been repossessed. She
Promised to pay me $200 a month for 10 months on the first day of the month when she gets paid. Her second payment is 4 days late. She did e-mail me to say that she had four fraudulant charges placed on her bank account. She's waiting for the bank to recredit her account. I know for a fact that this is a total lie.
I want to confront her with this but want to ask someone out there for advice.
I really want to give her some straight talk about dealing with the realities of life.
Her dad and I have shown her by example for years and years.
She just had her cell phone suspended. She tells me that it's a problem on the phone company's end. I know for a fact her bill was not paid.
I think the poor gal needs help and is in denial. In fact, I would like to suggest that she
Has been living with an Adult Attention Deficit Disorder for quite some time.
It was never medically diagnosed because it was never brought to our attention while
Going through private schools. It took her 7 years to get an Associate's Degree.
She makes a lot of to do lists, a procrastinator, loses things, forgets things, lots of
Difficulties budgeting her money, does things on impulse.
She is in a job where she travels around all the time with a touring company.
This is a perfect job for someone dealing with ADD.
If anyone out can tell me whether I should approach her or how I should approach her, I would greatly appreciate it.
I have kept saying to myself the light will dawn. In fact, I think it's getting dimmer.

[talaniman]

The best way to get through to a grown child who lacks money skills, is to stop aiding and abetting bad behavior.

Not wise to help a financially irresponsible child, who blames others for her shortcomings. That has to stop and letting her know you don't believe nor care, for her excuses, leaves her no other options.

Forget the lectures, small claims court is the only way to recoup your losses, after plenty of warnings from you. If she heeds them, fine, if not its your decision.

[starfirefly]

My sister has a similar problem, she has been diagnosed as a compulsive buyer. She will spend her money on things she doesn't need likw fior example she will buy golf clubs instead of paying rent, and than ask my mom or aunt for money she is now in dept for over 20,000$. What they told us to do is never give her money its feeding her addiction, even if she says she has no food not to give her anything, if she's hungary enough she will sell her golf clubs... in your situation it seems not quite as bad, but you do need to comfromt her and tell her you need the money

[Fr_Chuck]

Let me ask, if she is without a car, why did it matter if she sold it, or it was repo'ed. Except I will assume you paid some of the balance to let it be sold.

There comes a point you have to let them fail on their own to really learn

[vexation]

Hello
I give all the credit in the world to people that lead by example.
I believe that good communation is very important -- As parents have your heart to heart talk with your daugther and be positive by explaining good money habits over bad
What she has -- what she does not have - what she could or could not have in the future after which it is all tuff love.
Of course help out if truly need be and you are able to do so.
I am sure your daugther will be fine it only requires more time