Check out some similar questions!

matt777 · Sep 30, 2008, 06:28 AM

Hi all, this is my first post but I am in so much pain that I would be so grateful to anybody who answers.

Here goes, I was going out with a girl for 3 months, we both live in the same town but go to university in different cities at opposite ends of the country. Before we started going out, she went to Spain on an erasmus program for 3 months with university but in that period we emailed everyday and chatted on msn. When she got back at Christmas we spent a lot of time together and agreed to try for a long term relationship. We went out for 3 months in which time I, because of my insecurity about relationships, finsihed with her 3 times. Eventually easter came around and I had to spend the two weeks mostly so we didn't get to see much of each other and she ended up saying that she wanted a more relaxed relationship - to carry on as we were but without the 'boyfriend/girlfriend' tag. Anyway after 4 months of this I decided to cut all ties as I wasn't sure I wanted that. After 2 weeks I rang her and she was so happy to hear from me, although a bit annoyed and it turned out she was back home as was I. So we ended up meeting up, which was amazing then I told her I wanted to get back with her. She said that it was just too difficult and she wanted to wait till after university and see how it goes. Eventually I told her I loved her, she said she didn't feel the same but she might do if we could spend more time together. Should I wait for her or move on?

BlessdWitTalenT · Sep 30, 2008, 09:38 PM

You said you loved her, didn't you mean it? Why should you question yourself to stay or go if you just said you loved her. If you really do then wait and try to win her over. Don't give up

matt777 · Oct 3, 2008, 08:51 AM

She told me that I should move on, but she refuses to tell me that she will never love me. Everything I have done so far just seems to be pushing her away. I want her so much but all she wants is to be friends. I heard that once you're friends with someone, any chance you have of getting back together is gone. Is this true? I really would take a friendship over nothing because I care for her so much but it will be really hard to see that she is dating other guys. HELP!! What should I do? I won't have any chance to see her now till christmas and because of that we have decided to cut off all contact till then, and then try and become friends. What do you think? I would die for her. As long as she's happy then that's all that matters. If that means it has to be at the expense of me, then I'll take it.

matt777 · Oct 3, 2008, 09:07 AM

She also says that she could not committ to me at the moment because she is far to busy with work and such like.

JBeaucaire · Oct 3, 2008, 12:49 PM

This girl is making very mature decisions and appearing to be very honest with you about what is going on...

She likes you. Check.
She''s too busy to be a full-on girlfriend. Check.
She knows you don't have a lot going on and want to focus on the relationship. She doesn't. Check.
She TOLD you to move on. Check.

Um, since she told you to move along, what's the real problem? You like her so much you're going to honor that by ignoring her wishes. Hmm?

How about the obvious - grow up. She's asked you to let her lead her life without the pressures you want to apply. Listen to her. She will be happy if you obey. You will be happy when you start dating someone who WANT the attention you are craving to give. Right?

Win-win if you listen.