[lins77]

Hi I'm really in desperate need of help.. I have 3 kids with my ex partner we been separated for 6.5 years never married and we have fell out big time.. we went threw family courts about 3 years ago as he wanted parental responsibility and he got it after a time to prove his self.. when we split he was an horien addict,he still smokes weed etc but not on hard drugs,getting to the point he sees the kids once a month when its suits him even I have to do all the running.. my kids are age 12 11 and 8 the lad is 12 next year.. he keeps sending them texts and telling them to go and live with him.. my head is spinning with it all its emotional abuse.. ive done my best bringing my kids up I have partner of 6 years and have a 2 year old as well,we are the normal working family,and john is doing nothing but to ruin it,my lad keeps going on at me that he might want to live with him,I couldn't bare it,john would ruin him.if he was the perfect dad I wouldn't be bothered,but he not.he calls me to the kids every time he goes,he sends my text messages calling me and swearing at me,we tried to be friends it doesn't work,this is all because he asked me to let him claim for one of the children so he could keep his house,I'm not committing fraud for him,then when he find out that I told someone he said that I have no write to tell anyone what he says to me! Like he owns me or something.. I have had a diary since christmas 2006 I've wrote everything in it,even when he does summit good il write it in,but that's very rare,I don't want to say to kids you not seeing him no more as they at that age,it's the fact he still screwing with my head and trying to take my children away from me.please please can someone give me some advice I don't want my son to live with that looser.

[oneguyinohio]

A couple of suggestions...

Quit transporting for him. If he is not willing to do that much, then let the courts be aware of it.

You are aware of his weed smoking activity and haven't reported that to the authorities? Might be something to think about.

Get a lawyer, show the courts that he has not been consistent in his visitation... be able to elaborate on how much notice you get if any about the change of schedule.

Keep the lawyers after him, and maybe he'll think it not financially worth the expense to keep fighting.

Having said all that, if it were my son, I'd just fight you all the more... with a vengeance to say the least. You know who you're dealing with a lot better than anyone else, so you'll have to consider that as well.

[cdad]

Also you can save all the text messages he has sent so you have those too. Don't just write them down but actually save them. If your unsure how to do that then ask your local phone provider for instructions. You may want to refile for supervised custody and ask for a drug tests until he is clean. You really need to address the pot issue because if he's doing it around your children then they are affected by it too.

[Fr_Chuck]

And of course why do 12 year olds have cell phones to receive text messages,?

So stand up for yourself, why are you allowing him to scare you, walk over you ?