[shane4444]

So I just got out of a relationship of about a year. The girl being my best friend before that for a year. When we first met we hooked up a few times then she somewhat fizzled out. This was a girl when the first time I saw her AI thought she was amazing. She was everything I wanted in a woman. Successful, beautiful, from the same area as me, and it turns out our parents knew each other in high school.
So this fizzled out after about a month but I still wasn't over it. I kept my distance for awhile and we ended up becoming very close friends. But deep down I knew I wanted to be more. After awhile we became closer and closer and eventually started dating. It really never felt like she was 100% into it by some of the things she would like, like call previous guys she used to date all the time. I would catch her in lies about what she was doing. But during this time we were getting closer and closer. I eventually fell in love with her.
During this time she developed a nice little drug problem.
Putting me in situations where we would have to go meet with her drug dealer, spend our whole night looking for drugs, and eventually lying to me and telling me she wasn't on it when it was evident she was.
Every time I would call her out on some of her lies she would flip it on me, get angry and make me feel like I'm trying to control her.
Recently I had enough and told her I can't deal with the drugs and the lies anymore. So in return she started hanging out with one of her other guy friends non stop who accepts her doing what she is doing.
Im close with her family and she is with mine. It kills me to let this go
I love this girl. She means more to me than anyone. I know I can't change her and I need to walk away. I just sent her an email telling her all of this. Bad move?
Im going crazy about this and can't get her out of my head because I know how she gets when she's messed up.

What the hell do I do??

[Romefalls19]

You've done the right thing, you basically told her its either the drugs/lies or me. While I will be the first to say, making someone chose is very wrong, in this rare instance you were completely correct in this. She goes the drugs and it's going to destroy her life, you don't want to be apart of that. While it hurts you to let go, it will hurt even more when drug dealers come to settle a debt she can't pay and they also hold you responsible.

[redwee74]

Shane you definitely done the right thing. Here is the low down, if she was as into you as you are her you would not have to ask her to make a choice. People are just people and you can't save her she has to save herself. She will go down that path until she is ready to quit or something really bad happens. Let's pray that is not the case. Just walk away and remember the good times. Life is to short to be bitter and learn from this. Good luck!!

[talaniman]

Your what's called an enabler, and leaving her alone, and refusing to be involved in what she is doing, is the best thing you can do for her.

When she is sick, and tired, of being sick, and tired, she will do what it takes to change. Until then, as much as it hurts, all you can do is pray and protect yourself.

You can call an Alanon group near you, for some support, and knowledge through this.

[bigbird213]

It sounds like you know what you need to do and you are doing it... You know its going to be hard, so just tough it out, stick to it and do what you know you need to.

Best of luck