[sassyone]

My boyfriend and I are expecting a child in a few months. He has a 4 year old child with a past one night stand. He was present for the birth and pays child support but with no custody. He lives 4 hours away from her, the mother is remarrying, they do not see each other ever, she doesn't know he is her father because the mother doesn't want him in her life, and he wants to give up his rights. Like I said he lives 4 hours away so he cannot just walk up to the courthouse/ child support department to file the papers. The worker has ignored calls for months now and we need to start the paper work asap. How do we do so if the worker won't help? Can we get papers from our county?

[sassyone]

My boyfriend has a kid he never sees and probably will never until she is 18 and wants to see him.
He pays child support and has tons of back pay. He has no custody of her and wants to give up any rights to her. The mother is remarrying in a year. If he gives up rights will his child support payments go away?
Also they take out over 1/2 his paycheck because of current childsupport payments and then back pay. He is changing the amount of payment because he isn't making what he used to. We have a child on the way, will that also help lower the payments?

He owes 9k right now and each year it goes up because of interest, what can we do to stop this horrible debt? There has to be something, they leave him with 800$ to live off for the whole month, it's ridiculous.

[excon]

Hello sassy:

The court won't let your boyfriend give up his rights, or more specifically, won't let him off the hook in terms of child support. It would if the mother were getting married and her husband wanted to adopt, but that's the only way.

You say he's not in her life because the mother doesn't want it, but I submit that he could be involved in her life regardless of what the mother wants - if he had gone to court to protect his rights.

I know I didn't answer your question, but I did, really.

excon

[ScottGem]

You're only option here is if the mother remairries and the step-father agrees to adopt.

He can't just decide to relinquish his rights. Its not a matter of filing papers. The decision is not his but a court's. And generally a court will not grant a TPR except to clear the way for an adoption or if the parent represents a danger to the child.

However, if she is remarrying, there is a possible way to get this done. What he has to do is force his way into her life. Take her to court to obtain joint custody and visitation rights. If the mom doesn't want him in the child's life, then she may push her new husband to adopt.

[ScottGem]

I merged your two threads since they deal with the same issue.

The laws vary from state to state. Some states will terminate child support with rights, others only terminate the rights and not the responsibilities. But no place is going to allow him a TPR just to get out of child support.

Even if he does get support ended by the step father adopting that will not end the back support. He will still owe that.

No, your having a baby will not affect his need to support his other child. Generally support is calculated as a percentage of pay for each child. So, if he does have a significant drop in gross pay he may be able to get a modification. But that will not affect the amount taken for back pay.

Frankly, I see no relief for the two of you, until the mother of his other child has been married long enough for the step father to adopt. And then he has to want to adopt.

[Fr_Chuck]

Ok, as already noted, he is not going to just give up his rights, in fact he is not using his rights, he needed to go to court and get visit rights, her having custody does not matter. He gets everyother weekend, a couple of weeks in the summer. And so what if the mom does not want to tell the child he is the father, the father tells him. Very simple,

Also if for some reason the court allowed him to give up his rights, he still will have to make his child support payments, unless the women has a new husband that will adopt

[stinawords]

Well it has been noted several times that he can't just sign away his rights. To shed a little light on why the case worker is ignoring his requests to do so is just because of that and they know that. Also as you said he can't just walk to the court house he can drive to the court house to file for visitation the mother can't deny court orderd visitation or she would be held in contempt. In order for him to get out of that debt he needs to pay it... the best best way to do that is to pay all the current amounts on time plus a few bucks extra each week or month however he is ordered to pay. If he starts this on his own he can avoid the mother taking him back to court and the court ordering how much extra to get caught up. In some states up to 65% of pay can be garnished to get the ncp up to date.

[traceyrco]

Wow! From my own experience, judges do not like to relinquish a father's rights unless he's a bad criminal or something. If on the other hand the new husband wants to adopt - then you're off the hook.