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    hellokittykat's Avatar
    hellokittykat Posts: 10, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #1

    Sep 26, 2008, 08:41 AM
    Do I tell my best friend what I think about her new boyfriend?
    Okay, long story here.
    My best friend Jemma is 20 years old and I've known her for a good four years.
    She has had a few relationships and usually follows the same patten and gets screwed over.
    A year ago she met this man called 'James' threw her work and she devoleped a crush for him, the crush ended when he came onto a younger [and more attractive] co-worker.
    The year past and she was involved with a few other men but everything we belly up very quickly.
    Now two weeks ago James gave Jemma a stuffed toy he had bought three weeks before for his then girlfriend. Jemma was delighted at this for some reason and they exchanged phone numbers.
    Last night was the first date and the moment he stepped inside of her house he began to kiss her.
    She let him drive her to his house on the outskirts of town and well, things happened.
    He gave her a house key and told her he wanted her to move in, meet his children and that he loves her.
    This is not my problem,
    The problem I have is, James is 47, Jemma is 20.
    I have no problem with age diffrences,
    He told her that he thought she was 16.
    I have a real problem with a 47 year old man, taking a women who he believes to be 16 to his house and keeping her there all night.
    My question is, do I voice my opinion or keep it to myself?
    I am the one who picks up the pieces and I have the phrase 'I told you so' recorded. I want what's best for her, I really do and from what I know of this man and from years of knowing Jemma, I honestly think this will get bag and fast.
    iDish's Avatar
    iDish Posts: 46, Reputation: 7
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Sep 26, 2008, 09:13 AM

    You're a good friend but this looks like something that your friend has to learn on her own. All you can do is be there when her heart gets broken. If she ever brings it up and asks for your opinion, they be sure to tell her in a non-judgmental, caring way how you feel about this whole situation. I'll tell you this, your friend is not very bright. And I don't mean that in a mean way. Believe me, I wish I could help her myself. But there is always going to be those foolish girls who don't learn or listen until it's too late. You could tell her how much you hate what she's doing but all she'll think you are doing is suppressing her happiness. Right now, she's happy. The guy she's liked for years has finally noticed her. He's introducing her into new, sexual things, and everything is going well. And here you are trying to take that away from her. Her reasoning has gone out of the window (if she had any to begin with). You see the truth and the flaw in all of this. She doesn't. Like I said, all you can do is be there for her when she seeks out a friend.
    MsMewiththat's Avatar
    MsMewiththat Posts: 854, Reputation: 136
    Senior Member
     
    #3

    Sep 26, 2008, 09:18 AM

    Wow a lot of me says be there for her and be a good friend, but the best part of being a friend is by being yourself and being honest. If this is going to bother you not to say something than say it. Make sure that it is in a supportive manner, but try your best to spare your friend. That is what friends are for.
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Sep 26, 2008, 10:03 AM

    You always want the best for your friends even when they can't see it but sometimes no matter what you say they will do what they want. I have a friend who was dating a married man, you have no idea how many times I told her it was wrong. After telling her for years, I gave up. Eventually down the road she get smart and left but when she was ready.

    If your friend saw nothing feel with the statement he made or his behavior, she will have to learn the hard way. I think you should at least voice your concern because that's all you can do. Hopefully, she will listen to you but if she don't, there is nothing you can do.
    Blaq lily's Avatar
    Blaq lily Posts: 34, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Sep 28, 2008, 04:17 PM
    Tel her what you think and what you feel and then if she doesn't listen at list you told her what you think and when her heart is broken don't tel her you told her so, just be there for like a boyfriend should :)

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