[loren j]

This is in reference to a question I posted earlier about my ex. My summation of the relationship is that he actually met someone, me, for the first time in his life, who was ready to show him what real love was about (he said no one had ever been as kind to him as I was-and seemed to mean it). He was surprised by my affection and warmth, and couldn't believe I had no hidden agendas. I didn't... I loved him-period !

His past has been riddled with cheating (mostly him doing it), bad choices, addictions, heartbreak and I think deep down inside he hates himself.

If I wasn't just another victim of his lies and manipulations... he really seemed to love me, then why would he let me go ? He smiled like never before (you can look at his past photos-the smile was there-never the eye sparkle), and in the photos of us he looks like a new-happy, person. A friend of his (the only respectable one I ever met), told me that he had seen a great change in my boyfriend and that I had been excellent in his life.

He had a hard time believing I was for real. The first time he lied to me-I decided to forgive him because I saw what seemed like genuine remorse. He even held my hand and cried in prayer, asking God to keep this angel he had sent into his life with him (referring to me) and to heal me and make him a better man. BTW... he was not religious when I met him, I would say just more jaded by faith since he had been through so much-I am Christian but never pushed that off on him-I had hoped he might find God himself through my new love.

Now... unless this guy is the Devil himself, or the best actor on the face of the earth... I believe he felt true remorse for his lying and cheating ways. He would cry and say he just didn't feel good enough for me... Again, he is either genuine, or he will pay dearly someday for mocking me and God (I will leave that up to God-he knows if it was sincere or not)

So, providing that he really loved me... why did he finally let me go in the end if I was the best thing ever in his life ? And how did he jump so quickly into another relationship (one week after I was gone-although I think he was setting it up via email for a while before).

My question is: is he so heartless that the second he had sex with her my memory was flushed down the toilet and he feels no pain ? Can people feel no pain ? Was I that disposable, or is he burying his pain with this new girl ? Could he have honestly let me go because he knew he could not change, loved me, but not enough to change ? Or did I fall for a heartless snake with venom ?

Is he not hurting over losing me ? He said that he was in emails-but why did he let me go then ?

Will he ever feel true remorse for the pain he caused me, and realize that he had true love, for the first time in his life, staring him in the eyes ? At least that's what he told me-that no one had ever even told him how handsome he was, or showed any affection beyond basic sex.

Is he feeling any pain ? Why, if any of this were true, would he let me go ?

I'm moving forward with my life, but I am having to heal, cry, etc...

Is he feeling any of this same pain ?

[redwee74]

This is my opinion so take it with a grain of salt. But people like you just explained about your ex. Are selfish. That is the key they only want and need for themselves no one else matters. I believe he played you and eventually like you said he will have the roles reversed on him then maybe he will regret what he has done maybe not. Just forget him and go on with you life. He is not worth the time to worry about. You will find better and deserve better. Just take it one day at a time and worry about yourself.

[hannah_nicole]

I can't answer those questions and most likely they never will be. I once had a guy tell me everything id ever wanted to hear from him only to take it back the next day. Why did he do that? Does he feel remorse? I still don't know and no longer care it was many years ago. People deal with things differently be proud you are giving yourself the time to heal that he so obviously isn't. It only means bad relationships for him from here on in. When you start fresh with someone having unhealed ties to someone >

[hannah_nicole]

Else only makes the relationship futile. Fresh is in mind body and spirit. Use all the time you need and look forward to healthy future relationships with someone who can fully return your love and loyalty. Don't let this one guy spoil a precious heart.

[talaniman]

It doesn't matter what a cheater feels, unless its enough to make them change. If not, then they just keep doing what they do.