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    dontcallmeduck's Avatar
    dontcallmeduck Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 22, 2008, 06:10 AM
    My ex-girlfriend invited me out for dinner
    That's not the best of it. She has the restaurant booked (its a really romantic one that we always said was our favourite, and had special meaning to us), and it has been booked for the day that would have been our 2 year anniversary!

    She emailed me about this about 4 days ago (saying that she had used my name to book it), and texted about half an hour after the email to make sure I got it. We texted for a little bit and she said she was really happy we were talking, but really upset about our breakup. She also started saying cute things, not the kind of things friends say to each other and not the kind of things Im prepared to share with anyone else, but she basically said she missed me.

    I know nobody can tell me what she is thinking, or how she feels, but how do I approach this. Ive already said yes to going out for dinner, that for me was a no brainer because I really still love her. And its not like we had anything wrong in our relationship that would warrant us never getting back together (no abuse, no threats, no cheating, we probably only fought twice in nearly 2 years), the reason she broke up with me was because she said she didn't feel that spark anymore. The thing is, for the last 4 months she has been living about 3 hous away, back home for the summer after college, and for the first month I barely got to see her because both of us were working and it never really worked out - so after the first month we split up, she said because she didn't feel the spark anymore (I never wanted to break up). Now she is back in the same city I am, and I'm trying to figure out did she break up because of the distance, did she know she was going to get back with me when she came down? Just too many questions for me to get my head around the whole situation.

    Stupidly I pushed her away after about the first month of the break up. We talked quite a bit after we broke up and she said a couple of times she wanted to get back together some time, but I stupidly pushed and pushed until she could take no more and told me that she never wanted to get back together with me because I had pushed it so much. I know that's the first and worst mistake to make ever, but telling me she wants to get back together with me sometime kind of wrecked my head.

    So how do I approach this dinner? Any other date I would have thought not too much into it, but given the signifigance of both the date and the place we are going to, what do I do. She realised the signifigance of both the date and the restaurant, but I don't want to put myself out there and ruin what could be a very nice night, and a great friendship. I am not afraid of getting hurt, you can't experience life without getting hurt and all good things are worth the pain and the wait, but I am afraid of hurting her since I know she definitely wants to be friends, but I don't know if she wants to be more again.

    Ive already decided what Im wearing so that's not a problem. Ive already decided to bring a single rose, which can be interpreted as either romantic or friendly depending on how I spin it, but I don't know what to expect from this dinner, and frankly, Im afraid Ill mess it up by either being too forward, or not forward enough.

    Please anyone, what do you think. I love this girl, with all my heart.
    pluckyflamingo's Avatar
    pluckyflamingo Posts: 220, Reputation: 17
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    #2

    Sep 22, 2008, 06:34 AM

    Than you should tell her you love her. Being honest with her is going to be the best solution. Good luck!!
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #3

    Sep 22, 2008, 07:00 AM
    Take it SLOW! If you immediately jump back into things, your problems will only rehash and nothing will come of this dinner. Talk about things and follow her lead as she is the one making the moves. She where she heads with this and gauge how her words are being said, friends or more.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    Sep 22, 2008, 11:35 AM

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...me-236298.html

    I guess something has changed so just be on your best behavior and listen to what she says.
    redwee74's Avatar
    redwee74 Posts: 74, Reputation: 11
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Sep 22, 2008, 11:45 AM

    I think you should play it by ear, follow her lead let her make the moves and see where it goes. Don't jump the gun and tell her you still love her, she is the one who started this and you should follow if that is what you want.

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