[ISneezeFunny]

If anyone else is interested... here are romefalls and my post.

Romefalls is split into multiple questions.

Mine's pretty long... lots of updates on the way, starting from December until now. So, enjoy.

Romefalls:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...pe-169854.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...if-170527.html

And you can find other followups here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=3050780

Mine: (it's just one long post)

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...er-161688.html

Rome, hope you don't mind that I posted your stuff.

[CageWalk]

Isneezefunny..

I just read your post and I'm speechless. The similarities are uncanny. Much like yourself, I was not able to illustrate every detail of our relationship of 4 years. However, everything you have written except your ex-girlfriend's health issues, are almost identical to mine.

'Nice to a fault' was actually something I had screen-printed onto a bed-shirt for her some months ago. It describes her exactly.

She just emailed me today, saying that she wanted to call me regularly and even invited me to hang out at her house this weekend.

Can you tell me how your situation panned out and how you/she handled it? I would read the rest of your threads but there are 39 pages.

[ISneezeFunny]

Haha, yeah, it takes a while. I sometimes get e-mails from people saying, "I read your post for the past 4 hours..."

She tried to contact me over and over again... to the point she would call me once a day for two weeks. I ignored. I ignored. I ignored.

Eventually, she stopped calling, and we both I guess moved on. She has a new boyfriend (an idiot, might I add), and I just focused on work, classes, and other things I enjoy.

In the end, the idiot and her broke up (recently), and I'm... still... going. I haven't spoken to her in 8 months, but she did text me recently congratulating me on my new business... however, I ignored once again.

I think I'm doing OK, and I'm sure she is too. Life goes on.

[Romefalls19]

Nope Sneezy, don't mind one bit about you posting my questions. Looking back at them, I must admit, I was such a little B!tch man ha ha. I would NEVER go back to that way again, if my girlfriend was to leave now, I wouldn't be chasing as I am not a dog

[sun_shine_xOx]

I think that if its meant to be it'll be, it can go 2 ways either she finds someone else or realizes how much she misses you, based on the fact that uve been together 4 years I don't think she will last much longer "alone" . Sometimes I feel like my boyfriend ( of 2 years we also started when we were 16-17 :) ) is going to leave me because I'm the only girl he's ever done anything with, while me on the other hand hooked up with several guys and had a lot of little crushes with guys ( not proud of it) but I feel like he's going to want to experience new people, I know what its like to experience new people and it only made me feel worse about myself . I think she's just attracted to the excitement of someone new, and when she realizes he's probably into her for the wrong reasons ( like you said the texts were all like about her physique ) than she's going to know you're the one who's always been there for her. :)

[CageWalk]

Update:

I get a call today at 6am or so. I answer it without even looking at the number and its her. She tells me her mother is in hospital for eye surgery. In the past 4 years I've gotten to know her mother quite well and it invoked no small measure of empathy. I spoke with her on the phone for awhile, mostly about whether her mother was going to be OK. Wary, I kept the conversation fairly short and non-personal.

She told me she loves me and misses me a lot. I don't reciprocate by changing the topic as smoothly as I could (not as smooth as I probably thought).

Anyway, I tell her I'll call her in the afternoon to see if her mother is OK.

So come 4pm, I call her home. Her mother answers, and yes the operation went fine and she's at home now. It was an eye operation and she did it without any form of anaesthetic or drugs while being awake the whole time. Fortunately, she is now up and about and feeling fine.

Her mother then tells me that 'She' has borrowed her mothers car and gone out for coffee with someone. Who? Well that her mother doesn't know. What I do know, is that during the whole 4 years I've dated her she has NEVER borrowed her mother's car to go for coffee. She must desperately need to see whoever it is she's seeing.

The thing is her mum doesn't know about our 'break'. In my 'Her' words - 'It would upset my mum far too much during her operation and she has enough to think about as it is.'

So there we go. I'll be going back to no-contact now that her mum seems to be coming over the hurdle.

Meanwhile I'm returning to my mma training, which I neglected these past years because I had no time due to us living together. I did only 3-4 hours a week and watched my team mates get booked to fight in japan etc while I lagged behind. Now I'm back to two sessions a day and the smell of sweat is a disgusting but therapeautic opiate. And every guy I spar with I imagine as Lorenzo.

Thanks for all the help so far guys, I don't think I would have gone no-contact otherwise.

[hjpan]

Update:

I get a call today at 6am or so. I answer it without even looking at the number and its her. She tells me her mother is in hospital for eye surgery. In the past 4 years I've gotten to know her mother quite well and it invoked no small measure of empathy. I spoke with her on the phone for awhile, mostly about whether her mother was going to be ok. Wary, I kept the conversation fairly short and non-personal.

She told me she loves me and misses me a lot. I don't reciprocate by changing the topic as smoothly as I could (not as smooth as I probably thought).

Anyway, I tell her I'll call her in the afternoon to see if her mother is ok.

So come 4pm, I call her home. Her mother answers, and yes the operation went fine and she's at home now. It was an eye operation and she did it without any form of anaesthetic or drugs while being awake the whole time. Fortunately, she is now up and about and feeling fine.

Her mother then tells me that 'She' has borrowed her mothers car and gone out for coffee with someone. Who? Well that her mother doesn't know. What I do know, is that during the whole 4 years I've dated her she has NEVER borrowed her mother's car to go for coffee. She must desperately need to see whoever it is she's seeing.

The thing is her mum doesn't know about our 'break'. In my 'Her' words - 'It would upset my mum far too much during her operation and she has enough to think about as it is.'

So there we go. I'll be going back to no-contact now that her mum seems to be coming over the hurdle.

Meanwhile I'm returning to my mma training, which I neglected these past years because I had no time due to us living together. I did only 3-4 hours a week and watched my team mates get booked to fight in japan etc while I lagged behind. Now I'm back to two sessions a day and the smell of sweat is a disgusting but therapeautic opiate. And every guy I spar with I imagine as Lorenzo.

Thanks for all the help so far guys, I don't think I would have gone no-contact otherwise.

Dude... forget that fugly girl

You'll find lots of cute Japanese chicks xD

[CageWalk]

I’m such an idiot. For those of you willing to read through this long post, feel free to slander me at the end.

It’s been 3 months since my 4 year relationship abruptly ended and I haven’t dated anyone else since I met my ex in high school. As a result, I’m thick as brick.

Today I was spending hours in my local bookshop when I saw a bookstore girl shelving in the aisle I was in. She was gorgeous in a non-conventional, mary-jane wearing, black-rimmed glasses kind of way. I was pretty floored. So being the idiot that I am - I pretended not to notice her. She continued to shelve books and I absent-mindedly browsed some section I had no interest in.

She finishes shelving and is about to walk away. I’m mentally kicking myself for not trying to talk to her. Then she turned around and asks me-

‘Are you looking for anything in particular?’ (Take note, this is quite a vast book store, and staff generally do not ask customers anything unless approached)

In a stroke of genius I say ‘- no thanks. I’m just browsing.’

So she shrugs and waltzes away.

So after my clumsy strike out (about 5 minutes later and in a different part of the store) I’m in the classics section looking for an Updike biography..

The same girl, appears in my aisle, shelving again. This time, I tell myself I’m not going to be stupid again, so I lean over and say, ‘Excuse me. I’m looking for Updike’s bio, is it in the biography section, or under his own name?’

She offers to help me find it. So we go through the various sections without luck and she goes to the information counter with the computer and searches it up for me.

We banter for awhile as she taps away. I find out that she goes to the same university as I, and we are both in our last semester. And that we are both interested in the same post-graduate course next year.

So we talk for quite awhile, how long I don’t know. Long enough for another customer to join the queue behind me at the info counter – which funnily enough – she sends him away with a ‘Sorry, if you have an inquiry please go to the other counter,’ before turning back and continuing her conversation with me. This happens twice.

At one point I actually have to gesture at her computer and say – ‘and how about the book?’

Anyway, the last portion of the conversation pretty much goes as follows:

Her: ‘I work here every Wednesday, Friday and Saturday. Every second week I alternate the Wednesdays in the Thursdays.’

Me: ‘You manage to fit that in with uni?’

Her: ‘Yeh. How many days are you there?’

Me: ‘Oh I managed to fit all my classes onto Monday.’

Her: ‘.. yeh I’m in on Mondays. I have an early class.’

Me: ‘Yeh I go in early too.’

Her: ‘Mmm. Early morning classes are most dreadful.’

Anyway, there ends up being about a million different Updike biographies so she suggests I go back to my English lit class and found of which Updike bio I want.

Me: ‘Thanks I’ll be back next Saturday then.’

‘Yeh I’ll be in Saturday. Or Friday,' she says.

Me: ‘Sure, so I’ll see you around here then.’

‘Yeh I’ll see you here... or uni,' she says (Yes I realize I should probably have said something here, but instead I just waved and sauntered away).

In retrospect, it seems I might have had the chance there…or not. But I can’t help feeling like a dullard for not even trying. That’s pretty much how the conversation ended verbatim. Now I’m debating whether I should go back next week. Urgh, such a jackass.

[Fr_Chuck]

Ok, I will tell you something, girls want to be asked out, OK a lot of small talk is great if and when you have time.

But dating is, and sorry if this does not sound real romantic at first, it is a matter of numbers, the more people you ask out, the more dates you will get.

Go back in on a day she works and ask her out for coffee, a drink , something.

Or pretend it is JR HIGH have your best friend pass her a note, seriously, OK, ask people out, if there is some interest just ask them.

[jjwoodhull]

You haven't blown it. She was obviously interested. And you know where to find her and when - so do something about it.

[wikedjuggalo]

Step out the door and ask her out. What harm can come from it?

[jrsg]

Yeah...
You haven't blown it at all, Cagewalk!

You just left it open, and missed an oppurtunity. She will remember you, and the next time you go to that store, you will talk again. Take that next oppurtunity to ask her out. And this time, you can be prepared, and conifdent that she is interest in you!

Good luck, and let us know how everything goes!

[talaniman]

Go get another book. Its not a big deal if you don't ask for a number, or a date, on the first encounter.

[spyderglass]

Here is what you do-
Next time you see her- tell her
That you really enjoyed talking with her last time and ask for a way to contact her sometime-
This gives her the option of, cell, email, instant message etc
So it will be unlikely she turns you down
Or... here is a good one
Start another conversation-
Then when she is really into the conversation deep, tell her
I really enjoyed talking with you
I would like to pick your brain some more
But you are working- what are you doing later?
We could have coffee or dinner later if you aren't studying for class-
Yeah it's a lot, but it all has to do with how you word things, how confident you seem (not are, seem)
And for heaven's sake keep a good eye contact,
Do not go past the neckline... *winks
Good luck!

[Ash123]

My man - you did NOTHING wrong.

Sounds like a great start!

I was on the edge of my seat :-)

Next time, if she is smiling (or plays with hair or just gives you any extra vibe), just pick an easy destination: lunch, school function, etc.
And go for it.

If she says she can't then don't sweat it... If she has a BF, then she can just wink at you in the future :-) Sure it'll be fine.

[h0llister]

I think it was awesome!! OK you 2 are just getting to know each other. Now she is thinking about you and looking forward!! Make sure you post again if it works out! This is sooo cute! :)

[CageWalk]

Hey, thanks for all the replies- guess I haven't sunk yet, so I'm still in with a chance.

I'll be going back there next Saturday to get her to order that book for me. I'll ask her to do something non-commital, like a coffee between classes. Does that sound like a plan to you cats?

And don't worry about keeping the gaze above the neckline - she had grey eyes. I'm pretty sure I spent the whole-time just awestruck at those. Cheese, I know.

[jjwoodhull]

Good plan. Let us know how it goes!

[JoeCanada76]

I think you think way too much.. You will probably see her around again... Stop worrying so much. Meet her again next Saturday and maybe you will be surprised... like others have said. Peerrrfect start.

[TrueFaith]

I was waiting for the really dumb part, where you either vomit on her or say ( Hey is that a dress or lamp shade you got on?

You did great its nice to make small talk then come back next for the kill

She said ill see you soon.

So take it as a good thing you broke the ice next time you talk, you can make a move

Best of luck

Regards