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snowy23 · Sep 16, 2008, 07:10 PM

I have been having sex with my boyfriend for a few months now and I'm starting to think he's pretty selfish in bed. I always give him handjobs and then well just have sex. There isn't much foreplay and I just want him to at least put in some effort to try and please me.. but I'm reallyy shy so I don't know how to address this issue? Any advice would be helpful, thanks!

Alty · Sep 16, 2008, 07:50 PM

You can get naked, give him a hand job, have sex with him, but you can't tell him how you feel?

Communication is the key to a good relationship. If you don't tell him what you like and don't like, then it's not fair to blame him if he's not doing it.

Talk to him, the poor guy isn't a mind reader.

Good luck.

smoothy · Sep 17, 2008, 04:49 AM

Looking at the topics of your previous posts, how old are both of you? That can help us with advice.

snowy23 · Sep 17, 2008, 05:19 AM

Thanks everyone. Ill try and mention it to him, its just hard because he doesn't really seem to care about anything other than him getting pleasured in bed. My boyfriend is 31 and I'm 19, if that helps.

smoothy · Sep 17, 2008, 12:32 PM

Originally Posted by snowy23

thanks everyone. ill try and mention it to him, its just hard because he doesnt really seem to care about anything other than him getting pleasured in bed. my bf is 31 and im 19, if that helps.

OK, yes that does... what you described earlier made him sound like the average 16 year old. That's not right for a 31 year old man. Most guys learn better by the time they are in their mid 20's.

letmetellu · Sep 17, 2008, 01:51 PM

What do you mean that you are shy, if you can take his member in your hands and get him off, that doesn't sound shy to me. To me it just sounds like you don't know how to approach the topic of you getting some of the things that you would like to have. As you are giving him a hand job go slow and as you do it ask him to describe to you how it feels, also ask him how he likes for you to do it, does he want you to use a lot of pressure on his shaft or does he like it to be loose in your hand, and as you say these things do them the way you are talking about. This may make him open up some and it might give you a chance to tell him some of the things you might like.
Some guys are single minded, they think about getting off, and I think some of them think that you are getting your pleasure at the same time, you need to tell him you aren't.

RustyFairmount · Sep 17, 2008, 06:39 PM

Originally Posted by snowy23

i have been having sex with my bf for a few months now and im starting to think he's pretty selfish in bed. I always give him handjobs and then well just have sex. There isn't much foreplay and I just want him to at least put in some effort to try and please me.. but im reallyy shy so i dont know how to address this issue?? any advice would be helpful, thanks!

He's using you. He's taking advantage of you. You're young, probably cute, and are willing to give him what he wants. Think about it: Why should he care about going down on you, massaging you, or using toys on you if you give in right away?

I suggest reading books, talking to girlfriends, and experimenting. You need to learn how to tease. It'll drive him nuts. He'll either break up with you, or give into you. Either way, you win.

Choux · Sep 20, 2008, 11:12 AM

Right now, it's all about him, snowy.

Don't give him a hand job, ask for him to pleasure you by rubbing (your favorite places to get rubbed or tweaked). That's all.