[hardheaded]

First off I would like to say hello to everyone here:D And just ask your insight on my situation that I am having. It has many flaws from the beginning but I was convinced it was going to work. First me and my ex-girlfriend had been dating for almost 2 years now. We had to be discrite about the relationship for reasons I can't speak off. I am still married and have been trying to get divorced for 1 year now (I have not been with my wife in 2 1/2 years sorry can't explain) and I was trying to do it as painless and kind as possible. Me and my ex moved in a year ago and have lived together the whole time. She wants me divorced and I keep telling her I want it to be fair and I don't want to scew her and my future by pushing to hard.

Well I had to go away for a month and a half and she calls me and tells me she does not want to be with me anymore cause she is unhappy but does not know why. I asked her to wait until I got home before she makes any dicisions. In my marriage my wife cheated on me several times but I was brought up to always try and work things out. I could not find it in myself to forgive her for what she did. My ex came on to me very strong and I resisted at first telling her it was not a good idea and explained my situation. After some time I started seeing her and she made me feel soooo happy and helped me move on from my wife ( who I told it was over before I started dating my ex) So I have some insicurity issues and my ex had some bad things happen to her and I think I was just trying to be overprotective. Then 2 guys she works with said they wanted to do her so I told her not to hangout with them it makes me feel uncomfortable but she talks to them and about them all the time. I could deal with it for some time then I would get mad (wrong answer I know) Our relationship has been a secret and I couldn't take her anywhere so I think that got to be too much (when we first started dating she said she was OK with that and she would wait till I was divorced) for her to handle. When got back she had moved her stuff out the day I got back in fact she was still here when I got home. Then later that day she said she wanted to move her stuff back in so I did it for her. That night she went to dinner with a friend that was having problems and we text each other a few times. She wanted to know if I liked the outfit she wore and told me she wore it for me so naturally I said yes.

Well the next day she came by to talk and started kissing me and wanted to have sex which I was reluctant because I did not want to make it worse. She said it was going to be OK and said she was so happy to see me so we did. She left and had dinner with her friend again and was going to watch a movie also and come back leter that evining. Well she spend 5 hours with her friend eating dinner or whatever and then text she was coming over. Naturally I was happy cause we could talk some more then when she showed up she said she had to leave in a few minutes because they where going to watch the movie at 10pm it was 945. So I explained to her that her friend is important but we had issues he were unresolved and I thought we were going to talk about them that evening then I told her to have fun and she left. The next day she stopped by and told me she didn't want to be with me anymore because nothing has changed. Then she tells me it was because I told her that night I waas upset that we could not talk about our issues. I don't get what she is thinking I talk to her and tell her I understand that she wants to leave and that I won't ask her to stay but she is hard headed like me and does not like to change her mind. She still wants to help pay the bills and go out to dinner which I don't mind the dinner part it is part of the heaing process for me. I just don't know what to think about her behaviour. Is she just trying to make me realize something? Get me divorced faster? Which it did but at a great cost to me. Any insight would be great I can't talk to anyone about this. And thanks for reading I know it is jumbled but I am not a good story teller LOL

[talaniman]

Did you ever think that you have a lot of baggage to unpack, before you can move into a healthy relationship? You have two lives going at once. That can't be good at all.

You didn't elaborate, but I suspect your plate is to full to be successful, and there is a great need to step back, and work on resolving something. You have put yourself in limbo, and everyone around you.

How would you feel if your life was basically on hold? Oh wait, it is. Make some decisions for yourself.

[hardheaded]

You are right I have a lot of baggage I need to get rid of. And moving into another relationship was probably not the right thing to do until I was divorced. But we did both agree that we would stick it out and I guess it got to be too much for her. I wanted her to have space until the divorce was final but she said it doesn't matter anymore because it took so long. I want her to wait so we can see how it will be after I am divorced but then again I don't want to push it if that is her decision. Live and learn I guess. Thanks for the reply.:D