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Romefalls19 · Aug 26, 2008, 08:10 AM

I live in NJ, I am going to be placed into a possible hostile environment tonight as I am helping my girlfriend move her stuff out of her ex in laws. Her exes step father has quite a temper along with his wife. They want to try and talk to her and possibly stay, but their idea of talking is telling her how horrible she is for doing this to her son and that she is a horrible mother. They do know that I am coming tonight to help her move but I told her the first sign that things get heated or their attempt to belittle her that the discussion is over and we are leaving.

My question is, if this guy does try to grab my arm if we decide to leave what can I do about it? I have read conflicting arguments that I can protect myself so I do not feel threatened and others say that it's assault.

ScottGem · Aug 26, 2008, 08:16 AM

If someone lays a hand on you, you can remove it. If someone physically assaults you, you can defend yourself.

Of course you will need witnesses.

Romefalls19 · Aug 26, 2008, 08:20 AM

Because my girlfriend told me he has a temper problem and was told by a few people that if he does grab me it can be considered assault. I promised my girlfriend I would go in their open minded and keep my cool but if he tries to downtalk her or belittle her that the time for discussion is over and we will come back at another time with a police officer there to make sure everything goes routine with no problems

excon · Aug 26, 2008, 08:27 AM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

They do know that I am coming tonight to help her move but I told her the first sign that things get heated or their attempt to belittle her that the discussion is over and we are leaving.

Hello Rome:

I don't know. I'm confused. Are you going over there to help her move, or to have a conversation/confrontation with the hostile ones.

Moving, I would help her do. Conversing with hostile people is something I wouldn't do - unless of course, I wanted to pop him in the nose. That kind of sounds like what you want to do - and I understand it.

However, if you want prevent the possibility of criminal charges being levied against you, I would avoid them.

excon

Fr_Chuck · Aug 26, 2008, 08:30 AM

If it gets hostile, leave, have two or three friends comme and help with the move, even have someone with a video camera to show what was happening.

But if any hostile what so ever just leave.

Romefalls19 · Aug 26, 2008, 08:32 AM

Well the ex mother in law wishes to speak with her, and I was already going over there to help move. I have nothing to say, only going to make sure they don't belittle her or try to verbally abuse her. The second that happens is when her and I leave that place and come back at another time for her stuff. If the guy is not there, I am just going to be in her old room packin her stuff up while she talks. She has 2 kids so they are going to try and work out visitation with her as her ex is in rehab and usually the ex mother in law takes them to see him on Sundays.

I would like to pop him in the nose, but my temper is a lot better and wouldn't strike unless struck first. My MMA training taught me that much ha ha