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    summerw1nd's Avatar
    summerw1nd Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 1, 2008, 01:11 AM
    What's happening?
    The guy that I'm currently seeing is more affectionate and more talkative (engaged in conversation) with me when in front of his friends that when we're alone. What's up with that? :confused: :( :mad: :confused:
    onlinecounsellor_Dale's Avatar
    onlinecounsellor_Dale Posts: 20, Reputation: 5
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    #2

    Feb 1, 2008, 02:16 PM
    Not knowing the guy, I (or anyone else who responds to your post) will simply be speculating. We can't know what is going on with him. He is the only one that knows for sure.

    If you are keen to keep dating him and this behavior is really upsetting you, I'd suggest one of two approaches:

    1) You either ask him directly in a non-accusatory and non-angry manner. Try to be specific rather than general i.e. don't say "You always pay me more attention when others are around" or "You never pay me much attention or are affectionate when we are alone", instead say something like "I've noticed that when we hang out with X, Y, Z you seem a little more comfortable holding my hand" or "I'm not sure why, but I've noticed that when we are with your friends, the conversation flows more freely" followed by something like, "Have you noticed this too?" or "What do you think the reason for this is?"

    2) If you don't want to raise the issue with him, perhaps take note of your behavior. How are you when the two of you are alone versus when you are around others? If your guy is shy and/or unsure of your feelings for him, he may need you to take some of the initiative where conversation or affection is concerned.

    Good luck!
    chrissy32290's Avatar
    chrissy32290 Posts: 26, Reputation: 2
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    #3

    Feb 1, 2008, 07:28 PM
    Well how long have you been dating him for? If its early in the relationship then mayb he feels comfortable around people he is familiar with and he has to get use to you... you should ask him
    summerw1nd's Avatar
    summerw1nd Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Feb 9, 2008, 02:06 AM
    I've been dating him for 6 months now, I tried Dale's suggestion by being aware of my behavior, and that actually changes how he behaves around me, but only sometimes. I haven't gathered up the courage to talk to him about it though.
    Danap's Avatar
    Danap Posts: 27, Reputation: 6
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    #5

    Aug 23, 2008, 10:08 PM
    Is it possible he likes to put on a show for his friends. I've come across these types before. Not saying that this is definitely who he is, just offering another option.
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