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eyes116 · Aug 21, 2008, 04:58 AM

Hi .
I am looking for some answers I have not live with my husband for over five years and I am looking to divorce him I have fallen in love with an other man who lives in south calriona and I want to move there to start a new life with him and I want to know can my child's father stop me ( I went through mealthy abuse with him for years and decide to start over now can he stop me ) any advice anyone can give me will help

N0help4u · Aug 21, 2008, 08:25 AM

Does he have joint custody and visitation orders?

He really can't stop you basically but if he has joint custody and visitations it can complicate things a bit.

dad5787 · Aug 21, 2008, 08:29 AM

This issue really needs to be addressed with an attorney. I can say from experience that depending on state laws, he can actually stop you from moving with his child. There are certain circumstances that can over rule his application to stop you but this needs to be discussed with an attorney. If you can't afford one, there are government agencies in your state that should be able to help.

Best of luck to you.

stinawords · Aug 21, 2008, 10:56 AM

Are you legally separated or just informally? If it is informally then you can move but he has just as much right to come pick up his kids and take them back. If you are legally separated then you should be able to look at that to find out.

ScottGem · Aug 21, 2008, 11:00 AM

Bottom line is he can prevent the move. If the move will cause a change in court ordered visitation, then he and the court has to approve the move.

However, if there is no formal separation agreement, then I would move first and file later.

dad5787 · Aug 21, 2008, 11:04 AM

Although I can understand the reply of move now and file later, there are laws in place that protect one parent from doing this to the other. We need to understand there are legal implications associated with this decision that can actually have the custody taken away from the mother.
Please call your local legal aid of family court for guidance and assistance. What do you think would happen to the child if this grows into a legal battle.

ScottGem · Aug 21, 2008, 11:49 AM

Originally Posted by dad5787

Although I can understand the reply of move now and file later, there are laws in place that protect one parent from doing this to the other. We need to understand there are legal implications associated with this decision that can actually have the custody taken away from the mother.
Please call your local legal aid of family court for guidance and assistance. What do you think would happen to the child if this grows into a legal battle.

I disagree with this. While the father may be able to get a court to order the mother and child back, unless there is an existing court order preventing the move, then the mother would have broken no law. The ONLY thing preventing a primary custodial parent from moving is if it would affect an existing court decree for custody/visitation.

Can you cite any law to the contrary?

dad5787 · Aug 21, 2008, 12:29 PM

I do not know the actual law, but when I was separated from my ex-wife, she tried to do just the same. She was told if she did, this is a form of kidnapping and if she attempted to do so, I could press charges. Her attorney did not even argue about it.

This saved me.

JudyKayTee · Aug 21, 2008, 12:34 PM

Originally Posted by dad5787

I do not know the actual law, but when I was separated from my ex-wife, she tried to do just the same. She was told if she did, this is a form of kidnapping and if she attempted to do so, I could press charges. Her attorney did not even argue about it.

This saved me.

Yes, but were you legally separated and there was a custody agreement on file?

If not this was purely legal bluffing - nothing is stopping the mother from moving and taking the children and nothing is stopping the father from going and getting the kids back.

They'll be pawns, of course.

There was a similar situation on the thread some time ago - same thing. Married, found someone new, didn't get anything formalized, just moved with the kids and the father was attempting to get her arrested for kidnapping. As I recall he did get the boyfriend in hot water for custodial interference because the kids were left with him (maybe when she was working - ?) and he had no legal rights.

Father got them back on a permanent custodial basis. I think the mother also took a beating in divorce court.

(Anyone remember any of this? Father filed for divorce in their State of residence, mother had to travel back and forth, father pretty much got everything because the Court decided she had abandoned him - and the kids, ironically.)

ScottGem · Aug 21, 2008, 12:42 PM

Originally Posted by dad5787

I do not know the actual law, but when I was separated from my ex-wife, she tried to do just the same. She was told if she did, this is a form of kidnapping and if she attempted to do so, I could press charges. Her attorney did not even argue about it.

This saved me.

You need to remember that this is the Family LAW forum. Our answers have to follow the law. I don't know what the circumstances of your separatation were, there may have been a visitation schedule in place or even if there was only a formal separation agreement. But in the OP's case there appears to be nothing.

The point of law is that as long as there is no court order that would be interfered with, she's free to move.

dad5787 · Aug 21, 2008, 01:03 PM

Thank you all for the clarification. I guess I was very lucky because we had no legal separation or temporary custody agreement. I do agree with the statement that a lawyer should be consulted.

Thanks again