[cchedo]

Hello I am a 37 yo divorced male who lives to be with his sons(ages 11 &12) it has been a hard road for me since the divorce. I pay for their moms mortgage so they have a nice place to live(my house is being forclosed) my water is off and I am just starting to get back on my feet. I work late and try to do fun things with them at every chance I can. I have coached my older son in every sport and have been his biggest fan and cheerleader(sounds funny but I am). Both boys mean more to me than life (hence the continuance of my miserable existence lol) but it seems that they are pulling away from me and today they told me they didn't want to come to my house(its my day wed, thurs, and every other wknd) this hurt so bad I couldn't move I just cried(I can break a bone or cut my finger on a saw and barely wince) but this paralyzed me. I do everything I can for them and I get this what did I do wrong? Their mother has talked bad about me in the past but I think she is over that. I'm lost and don't know what to do.

[NancyD92]

I'm 16, and I didn't spend a lot of time with him (I don't live near him anymore). He was kind of a jerk, though. I used to come back from his house in a bad mood. If you did do something, but you're totally different now (and I don't mean denying it if you are), talk to them and tell them that. Also, acknowledge their feelings, and try to improve in whatever way they need you to. Another factor you should consider, is that they're at that age where they become distant from their parents. Hope I helped, though I can't imagine what you're going through.

[Fr_Chuck]

Well while it is nice to "help" the mom paying a lot of bills you are not ordered to pay is often merely being taken advantage of, she gets to spend her money on things for the kids and they see her doing money things for them, not you doing things for them. Sorry but that is often where it is. So if the mom is esp talking against you, first I would only pay what I was suppose to pay, and take care of myself. Would kids want to hear about your foreclosure, stay with you without water in the home?

Beyond that deal with the kids and give them more of a chance