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magrock · Aug 20, 2008, 07:28 AM

I am in a very similar situation however we don't go out on dates.. I say the fact that you are going on dates w/him it's a sign he is into 2u... see my "friend" & I we don't go on dates... we both sort of decided whenever we hang out alone it leads to something else & we do not want friends w/benefits...

talaniman · Aug 20, 2008, 07:34 AM

No curious, just be yourself, and have fun, as its much to soon to get him to open up. The object of dating is to enjoy yourselves, so do so. You have to let him get comfortable with the idea. What's your hurry??

magrock · Aug 20, 2008, 07:37 AM

talaniman- not to steal her thread but do u think u ruin the chances of getting into a serious relationship by sleeping w/a guy too soon even though u've known him for awhile...

CURIOUS08 · Aug 20, 2008, 07:39 AM

I think maybe I just get caught up in the relationship aspect of dating... lol.. that's my hurry. But I understand what you are saying. Maybe a little I expect him to say some things or become more flirtatious because I have known him a very long time. I would think he would feel comfortable.. but I guess this is different than just being around his house hanging out with his sister all those past years. Do you happen to get a feeling that this guy is shy... being that I make some of the moves... however he does riciprocate.

CURIOUS08 · Aug 20, 2008, 07:41 AM

MaG... I am very cautious with sex... I think sleeping with someone too soon can ruin the relationship. I have no intention on doing that with this guy... Sharing sex I think is something you do with someone where there is that bond with... there are feelings for them and you have established some kind of relationship. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?? You know that saying?

johan1304 · Aug 20, 2008, 07:46 AM

I think this guy is defo interested in you but I think he is just as confused as you as your giving him mixed signals by not responding to his advances, maybe you should have a heart to heart with him and be totally honest and tell him how you feel, I think it will be good to get things out in the open.
Also you said your both adults now and Im sure your friend is too, so I would n't worry about how she feels.
I would just go for it the only way you will know if he's a keeper is your going to have to try and have some sort of relationship.

magrock · Aug 20, 2008, 07:48 AM

curious08- I do at times regret sleeping w/him it happened 2x now... neither of us can control ourselves when we are around each other.. we have had a crush for yrs.. he is also my friends brother... but I think we both put or foots down & said we do not want be friends w/benefits... I guess I am living w/this & asking myself how to fix it but I guess I just got to let it be... now I acutally like him & would like a relationship w/him...

joanne 1986 · Aug 20, 2008, 07:52 AM

I think he does like you but is trying to play it cool to see how you react after the kissing incident! Maybe you should meet up and sit down and talk about what you both want,if you both decide on something then you can move forward!

Good luck

CURIOUS08 · Aug 20, 2008, 08:00 AM

I think it's too soon to bring up any kind of heart to heart talks as Tal said earlier. I did email him today and said I was looking forward to Friday and told him something about how my temp left today but I'm getting another one from college or something. So, I said, "haha.. he'slike 20.. way to young for me... nonetheless my interest lies on someone else"... I think that's putting myself out there... don't you? He hasn't responded to it.. probably doesn't know what to say lol...
Mag: the only way to do it with this guy is to talk it out... if you are already sleeping together and you have some kind of feelings for him that are more than just a crush... tell him... perhaps you can get to know each other rather than just in bed... go out... do things... just keep the sex out for the moment.. If he's not interested then stop communication with him as this will only hurt you more.

magrock · Aug 20, 2008, 08:17 AM

Thanks curious08... yes def leaving sex out of it... he would call/text me everyday for weeks but now I see the contact is getting less... but we do see each other in group settings & everyone around us sees we are interested in each other but we both just got out of relationships & he doesn't want anything serious w/anyone.. but I truly believe that when a man is interested he will go for it no matter what!

Good luck w/friday & let us know how it goes... leave sex out of it... lol

CURIOUS08 · Aug 20, 2008, 08:45 AM

I think as well that if a man wants something they will go after it... I also think though that just like women, men can be shy as well or unsure of what a woman may think or feel... so sometimes I think they need that extra push. I think that the guy I'm after knows I was in a relationship for a while and might be cautious as to what he's getting into. May feel that saying he doesn't want anything is putting his guard up so he wouldn't have to deal with heartache or something. You never know... everyone is different and every relationship is different.

CURIOUS08 · Aug 22, 2008, 12:17 PM

So, I have a date with this guy tonight. We were originally going to go to a movie and dinner but it's so nice out I mentioned going to play mini golf, having dinner, and getting some drinks... perhaps also walking on the beach or something. His response was that "walking on the beach is a little too much for me"... with that I am thinking as he thinks of something like that to do with someone special in a relationship or it's too romantic for him for right now.? What does anyone think? I wrote him back and said I was sorry for mentioning that.. I was just thinking of things to do outside but when I read his response I realized that maybe it was a little too fast for that and that wasn't my intention so I appologize... Should I worry because he thinks this way that he's not interested? ANY INSIGHT PLEASE?? :)

Guidostern · Aug 22, 2008, 01:05 PM

He is being cautious... all of us guys do that. He's definitely into you though... I have told girls that they should just lose my number, and then they didn't... that's how me and my girl of almost 5 years now got together. I was distant with her too... it's not mixed signals, it's just how we are programmed... don't worry about it... get to know each other again and have some fun... that's what dating is all about.

CURIOUS08 · Aug 22, 2008, 01:08 PM

Thank you! I just don't want to come on too strong but damn I want him lol... thank you for your advice.. However, if you like someone why do you be so cautious? Lol

Guidostern · Aug 22, 2008, 01:33 PM

Well, I can tell you that I am this way because I have been in a couple of bad relationships... plus it seems like you were kind of hot/cold with him at first... you cut off contact with him and this could have pushed him away a little... be careful and make sure you don't only take care of you, but you take his feelings into consideration as well.

CURIOUS08 · Aug 22, 2008, 01:57 PM

If he wasn't interested, do you think he would have found a way out of going out tonight? And what do you think about his comment about walking on the beach? I need a few drinks I think tonight. Lol. Plus I'm making most of the flirts and plans. Is that normal under this circumstance and do you think he will eventually come around?

Guidostern · Aug 22, 2008, 10:57 PM

He would have most definitely found a reason to get out of your date... walking on the beach, that one's hard to say... He may not be flirting with you because again, you did tell him that you didn't want a relationship... he may just be backing off so he doesn't make you uncomfortable... by the way, how did the date end up going?

CURIOUS08 · Aug 23, 2008, 01:46 AM

Well its 4 am and he just left lol. Everything was great. We went to dinner, played golf, went out for drinks and went back to my house where we constantly hooked up for an hour or so. He was being very touchy feeley holding my hand and whatever else. Then we hooked up. No sex but other stuff. So he left and we were outside just hanging out and I told him that I didn't want to rush anything and he said he wasn't ready for that either but that he really enjoys spending time with me and hanging out. So he just text me because he just got home and I text him back OK and said that I didn't want to rush things but I was willing to see where things may go or whatever and no response. Does he not have anything to say? I don't understand why he wouldn't text me back?

talaniman · Aug 23, 2008, 05:48 AM

Slow down some, your expecting him to lay all his feelings out, and chase you, and that doesn't seem to be happening. Just go out, and ease into knowing each other, and see where that leads before moving to fast, into a relationship.

Your thinking way too much into this. If he wasn't interested, he wouldn't have shown up, and how many texts do yo expect at one time. He isn't a hopeless romantic, and yes he is watching you, and protecting his heart.

Make sure you do the same, and not just rush in, to fast, to soon, pay attention.

CURIOUS08 · Aug 23, 2008, 12:20 PM

Thank you for the advice! He tries to be a hopeless romantic but not so much I guess... lol. I know I over analyze a lot but I keep all this to myself except to you people on here lol. Every guy is different... that I know for sure. All my relationships start quick and its hard for me to go slow which I know I have to do with this. Its also hard for me not to get my feelings involved and that goes for anything being that I'm a sensative and emotional personbut w this guy I'm trying to keep myself reserved. Do you think he's interested and not just having fun under all the circumstances?

Guidostern... where are u. I could also use your opinion since you tend to be one of these type guys lol