[AJT67]

Just have to ask this question on my own experiences...

Just what percentage of sex is a mental or in your mind type thing?

Case in point; I used to suffer from premature ejaculation with my ex. Never, ever had that issue before, but she was more into rough and ready "take me right now" type sex, that really didn't do anything for me.

Forward to the present day, I have my new partner, totally relaxed, into the more intimate and communication side to sex like I am. Take our time, always climax together, making love atm 14 times per week, no problems.

I'm sure that this has a lot to do with the fact we think about sex the same way, and value it the same way.

Expert opinions please?

Thanks.

[ChihuahuaMomma]

I think A lot of it is mental. I know that I cannot climax if I'm not in love (or doing it myself). I've been with guys that I'm not in love with, and nothing...

I think it does tend to be more mental for woman than men, but that's not always the case.

[Synnen]

I'd say 95% mental, 5% everything else.

Of course, I'm a woman, so if I'm not there mentally, nothing is going to happen to begin with.

[AJT67]

Hahahahaha!

I guess I might sound very odd for a guy then! Hope I'm not losing it. Personally, for me, it is more about the "physical connection" than the orgasm. In fact, the orgasm can be a killer, because it means we have to stop for a few minutes, even though we are both totally in synch.

Would be great to hear another guys views on my subject here!

[Choux]

Men have evolved over millennia to be effin machines, so I don't think it is wise to think that men have to have any emotional investment in a pretty woman in order to be ready to go. :)

Women are totally different sexually.

There are all kinds of emotions and passions involved in sexual pleasure, orgasmic bliss, that are there for people to enjoy... from a quick eff to "cosmic sex"... and all in between.

I think that many men like to have a close relationship with a woman, meaningful contact, for a different level of orgasmic pleasure and a depth of loving contact.

[smoothy]

It does play a factor with men as well. But its not always as cut and dry as it is with women.

Yeah just about any guy that can get it up would trip over himself to bed a really beautiful woman even if he doesn't know her name. On the other hand that's not simply all guys are about. After 15+ years of marriage... after she has let herself go and put on a lot of weight, the fact he can still get it up for her on a regular basis is where the mental thing comes in. With that emotional connection he can still get it on for a woman that lets say is no longer much to look at on a regular basis.

Eye candy helps... but it isn't everything.

[Ash123]

Ha!

Of course... it's mental.

After all... the brain says what senses it likes and duzn't.

[kp2171]

Its just plain wrong to state men are detached from the mental side. Studies have shown that younger men with libido and/or ED issues usually respond very well to counseling.

True, I think there are common differences in approach, or even differences in the "valuation" of sex (how important it is)... but its well known that stress, depression, etc affect libido. Mental health is absolutely tied to the health of the relationship in the bedroom. Period.

So... male or female... you need to be able to be lost in the moment. Now... what makes you lost in the moment can be very different... but mental release is critical no matter the sex.

For the man who can get off no matter who he is with, he just has a lower threshold for what is "acceptable"... for you, you seem to need a closer connection to your mate.

As a previous partner of mine used to say... you need to find your "own kind of weird"... what works for you is what works. Doesn't mean that's all you'll respond to... but it does give you a starting point for understanding sexual compatibility.

[BetrayalBtCamp]

Your Brain: The Other Sex Organ | Serendip's Exchange

Your Brain: The Other Sex Organ

“The brain is a full-fledged sexual organ,” wrote Nicholas Wade in the New York Times Science section (1). Although the not first bodily structure to spring to mind—I can think of a few more prevalent organs—this idea follows logically with what we know about the brain, as well as how the brain relates to other systems within the body. Like the gonads, the brain has an active role in the endocrine system. There are physical differences between the brains of the two sexes, just like the genitalia, which lead to differences in sexual behavior. Our sex behaviors, whether involving the I-function or not, all stem from the brain.