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kellylynn · Aug 13, 2008, 08:18 PM

I have a 2 1/2 year old little boy who won't listen to anything. Some days he is pretty good & I can handle him.. others I can spank him or put him in time out or anything & he still acts up & does things he is told not to do. I am 7 months pregnant & am scared with both kids that I will be completely stressed all the time. I need some advice on how to make him listen & do what he is told before my little girl is born! Thanks.

rockinmommy · Aug 13, 2008, 08:41 PM

Well, first have you ruled out any medical issues / allergies / etc. Things like that can affect a child's behavior. And of course without ovserving your little boy it's really hard to gauge what you're talking about. Well behaved to one person is completely different from well behaved to another. (Or out of control, etc... )

I can tell you the thing I wish I had listened to and done much earlier with my kids. (7 and 4 now.) Get him in a routine. There are about to be a lot of changes in his little life, and he'll probably be testing the limits, etc. Start him now - a couple of months should be enough time to get something pretty established. And while your setting it up imagine having a newborn in the mix so you don't start a bunch of stuff you can't keep up with. Make a special time for him to sit on your lap and have a story and a cuddle. Then once the baby comes keep doing it. The baby will be fine for 10 minutes while you have a special mother - son time. Make him be your big helper now. Have him help you with baby stuff. Let him know how glad you are that you'll have him to help with the baby. But keep his little world pretty structured so he knows what to expect. I'm very "fly by the seat of my pants", but I've found that my kids don't do the best with that. If they know what to expect they do a lot better.

Good luck and congrats!

kellylynn · Aug 13, 2008, 08:54 PM

Thanks a lot for your help. I think he knows that there will be a new baby & that is the reason for all this mess. He isn't sleeping well at night & has been pottying his underwear too. (hes been potty trained since march & was pooping in the potty months before that) I try to have a lot of one on one time with him which seems to help keep him calm & good at the time but then a couple hours later when he doesn't get his way he acts up very badly. He will kick, scream, yell, even call me names. I feel like I spank him too much & it just doesn't help ANYTHING. I have nights alone wher ei just cry & cry because I am at my wits end with him. I love my son more than anything in this entire world but sometimes he has me so stressed that I want to take him to a babysitter & drop him off because I feel like I can't deal with it.

NowWhat · Aug 14, 2008, 06:44 AM

He is testing you. He wants your attention and he is willing to do whatever it takes to get it.
He is probably reverting back on the potty training - because again, he wants your attention.
When he acts like that - kicking and screaming - walk away. Do not talk to him, do not acknowledge him. He gets no payoff from the behavior. Now, when he is good - PRAISE him - like he just invented sliced bread or something! :)

I agree with the other post - get him on a routine. His day needs to be consistent. When he wakes up, he gets dressed, then he has breakfast, he brushes his teeth, etc. Through out the day, this is what you do. So he knows what to expect.

And just so you know - this (in my opinion) is normal. When my daughter hit 2 1/2, I thought she was suddenly possessed! I was ready to pull my hair out at the end of every day. It was a phase and we both made it through.

kellylynn · Aug 14, 2008, 08:24 AM

Thanks a lot. Its good to know its normal lol I have a friend who's little boy just turned 3 & he is an angel compared to cameron so I thoguht maybe something was wrong with him. I think getting him on a routine seems pointless because most days we sit around the house & watch t.v & play with toys. Getting him on a routine almost seems pointless & like it would take too much work for nothing.. you know? Thanks a lot for your advice though I will definaltely use it!

NowWhat · Aug 14, 2008, 08:36 AM

Even if the routines were simple? Like what you guys do in the morning. Each morning the same thing happens. Then dinner time - like washing hands, etc. Then bedtime. You take a bath, brush teeth, story and then lights out.
The between stuff doesn't have to be planned.

You may want to try getting out for walks or to the park. He may have a lot of energy built up and he doesn't have an outlet for it.
If you notice he behaves better on days where you do more things - like the park, you may have you answer.

N0help4u · Aug 14, 2008, 09:34 AM

I agree with the others
And start writing everything down like a timed journal of good days bad days, what he ate, times he started acting up and then you can look for trigger patterns.

Also be consistent and make the punishment fit the crime. Don't keep trying different methods like this hasn't worked and I have been doing it for a month now because it will confuse him more. He needs to see consistency from you to learn to be consistent.
When you say NO don't change it or bargain with him.

If he has food allergies here are two good books

The Crazymakers by Carol Simontachhi
And Brain Allergies by Dr Philpott

Also some are linking lack of Omega fatty acid in kids to behavior and thinking

All About Kids: Omega-3 fatty acid and kids brain health