[hjpan]

Clearly there is some tension on this post.

I think since neither are married a conversation can be had. Then, see reality.
No, it is not the lilly white solution, but i think some tough realities need to be seen on the posters part, and that may be by facing reality with real communication and not fantasy...myspace/cryptic emails etc.

I do not advocate TWO relationships. But, I do think they both need closure and answers. Since the man in question said he "loves" his current GF i'd guess reality will come sooner than later.
And then it will be time to move on in ONE of TWO clear directions. The fantasy aspect of this "9 year crush" is worrisome - and needs to be resolved...or counseling.

It just upsets me that a full grown lady wants to GO AFTER A CRUSH when she has a boyfriend.

If she really desires to go with the crush, she should have declined the boyfriends' "would you go out with me" question. It's simple...

[Ash123]

Unfortunately, Love is not always that simple. If it was, yours, or any of the other thousands of posts on here would not exist. Hearts and minds are constantly in conflict.

I know you were on the receiving end of a break-up and didn't like it. And rightfully so... On the other hand, this person may be the right one for her -- I doubt it -- but it helps to know in life. And since she is not married, she may wish to find out. Frankly, I think she is in for a reality check, but sometimes the reality is necessary.

In reality, she will lose her BF and he may lose his GF, but unless these people are all truly in love, what is the point of hanging in there? People date all the time and don't fall 100% in love. The real tragedy is going to the altar not in love.

[hjpan]

Unfortunately, Love is not always that simple. If it was, yours, or any of the other thousands of posts on here would not exist. Hearts and minds are constantly in conflict.

I know you were on the receiving end of a break-up and didn't like it. And rightfully so.... On the other hand, this person may be the right one for her -- i doubt it -- but it helps to know in life. and since she is not married, she may wish to find out. frankly, i think she is in for a reality check, but sometimes the reality is necessary.

in reality, she will lose her BF and he may lose his GF, but unless these people are all truly in love, what is the point of hanging in there? people date all the time and don't fall 100% in love. the real tragedy is going to the altar not in love.

Yeh... it really sucks

Love is complicated but making the right choices is not, but sometimes it is.

[HannahJade]

I have had a reality check. Just today, I spoke with my crush, and a lot of things have changed. I'm not going to talk to him as much, only if he needs advice. I'm not going to drop him off like I don't care about him because.. I do. He's my good friend and has been for quite some time now. Thank you for all your advice, and I'm sorry for possibly causing a popped vein, or high blood pressure. =]

[talaniman]

I'm in desperate need of advice here

A plea like that will get us started every time.

I have had a reality check.

Care to share??

[Ash123]

I have had a reality check. Just today, I spoke with my crush, and a lot of things have changed. I'm not going to talk to him as much, only if he needs advice. I'm not going to drop him off like i don't care about him because.. I do. He's my good friend and has been for quite some time now. Thank you for all your advice, and I'm sorry for possibly causing a popped vein, or high blood pressure. =]

As predicted. (See also Icarus)

Glad (hopefully) to have been of help.