[mckeel]

Real quick I have been with my girlfriend for nine months.For the most part it's all good we have been talking marrige.I have met her daughter her daughter loves me I treat her like my own.Now we have our issues one is sex I;'m a lot more sexauly advanced than she is.So that's one of the issue,but I think we can find a common ground on that.This is the major problem.I have three kids from a previous marrige.My kids have never met anyone I have dated since my divorce.She wants to met my kids but I'm not ready yet.I told her that I was talking to my ex wife about it.I guess I was not moving fast enough for her so she broke up with me.This happened this weekend.We went one day not talking and it was hard we finally talked and she said the same that it was very hard.A day passed and she came over Monday we hung out we slept together I thought all was OK.Well the very next day she said she wanted to stay broken up she said she wants us to work out but she wants to stay broken up.She say's she has no plans on seeing anyone else and I believe her.What should I do.She say's she wants the descion to be mine about her metting the kids not because of her.Now were broken up it's only been one day since we have not talked and I'm going crazy what to do

[smokedetector]

Letting your kids meet her is up to you, not her. If she has a problem with it, maybe she is thinking that you haven't let them meet because you are not as committed to the relationship as she is, and now she's worried that you're saying one thing (talking about marriage) and thinking another (not introducing your kids to her). It is kind of confusing. If you're ready to talk marriage, you should be ready to start letting her in on all parts of your life that she will be accepting if you do get married. I say the best thing to do, if she is serious about staying broken up but not seeing someone else, is to keep on how you were, maybe without the boyfriend/girlfriend title, and get to a point where you feel comfortable with them meeting. THEN talk marriage. I don't think either of you are necessarily wrong here, but you might be inadvertently giving mixed messages. Good luck.

[chuff]

I like what smokedetector stated above and I agree with it. However, this woman has some issues here herself. If she breaks up with you and then turns around and continues having sex with you, she knows she is playing you and your emotions. I think for her to sort of hold your kids hostage in this situation is pretty pathetic. If you aren't ready for your kids to meet someone new then that's just to bad for her. Honestly, I commend you for holding out and not putting your kids through that, as it their emotions and well being you are supposed to be looking out after, not hers. I think it speaks to what a great father you are for doing what you have done and it should be appreciated, not frowned upon.

I'd recommend telling her that you not comfortable exposing your children at this time to someone new your life and if that's a deal breaker for her then you mis-judged her and you understand that means that that this has come to an end.

I don't think that's what your looking for, but I don't think you should be, nor should your children be a subjected to someone who shows she can't commit. It's not fair to any of the parties involved.

[talaniman]

Don't be a sucker for that power play. If she wanted it to work she would have stayed to work on it, but she is choosing to leave you alone, to make a decision... to do this her way.

Forget the games, disappear for a while, and if she doesn't come to her senses, good riddance.

Truly rethink how this relationship is going. If she is this way after 9 months... a year would be out of the question.