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Trulyyours · Apr 7, 2008, 08:05 AM

My fiancé and I were planning to get married in June. He has 3 kids already with 2 different mothers. He told me this before we dated and explained the sitution surrounding each case. I accepted this and moved on. I just found out recently that while I was in Stockhom last year for 3 months he slept with another woman and got her pregnant. The baby was born on 10 March. He explains that it a big mistake and he is not sure if he's the father that's why he didn't tell me. But if it turns out that he is, he will take responsibility. I am hurt, feel betrayed by him and his family since they also knew about it, and for the fact that they kept quiet while we are busy preparing for the wedding. I feel so confused. PLEASE HELP! :confused:

dodgy_dave · Apr 7, 2008, 08:48 AM

If I were in your position I too would surely feel very confused in this situation. This is obviously a guy that you love very much and genuinley believed that you would spend the rest of your life with!

However... it is clear from what you have said that unless you are willing to accept him sleeping with other women then you cannot stay in a relationship with him! He cannot care for you if he is firstly willing to risk hurting you by cheating on you and secondly not even taking the precautions to avoid an unwanted pregnancy!

Think about how you would feel if you married him and then had to go away for a number of weeks without him... would you trust him to remain faithful?

Im sure it's a hugely difficult decision for you but I think that you'll agree with me that leaving this relationship and finding someone more suited to a relationship with you will make you happier in the long term.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 7, 2008, 09:23 AM

It appears being faithful is not a real issue to him, and I wonder if he would have been so forgiving if you had confessed of some affair while away. My guess he would have been out the door.

If you don't mind him paying most of his money to child support and most likely having sex with other women if you travel again, or if you are too busy for him, or if he just gets a chance,

But I would think you need to step back, and consider if this type of relationship is what you want.

talaniman · Apr 7, 2008, 10:08 AM

Put your feelings aside for a moment and look at him with clear eyes. He has a lot of babies, and babies mommas. He makes "mistakes" he has to pay for, even while you were together. His actions and track record speaks for itself, and chances are great they will speak again.
Also for your clear eyed consideration,
He makes "mistakes", and has an explanation for them (His excuses)
You swallow ALL of those excuses as okay.
He makes "mistakes" without protection, so far they have ended up with a pregnancy, but he may well make a "mistake" that infects you. This is highly possible, and you should be checked as of yesterday.
The events you have already witnessed, may be a preview of your life with him.
Now with those facts, you can make a decision, based on clear eyes, and not just feelings.