I don't know what to do with her

fwnaklas · Jul 21, 2008, 04:53 PM

Yeah.. I don't do anything for her at all... I had no contact with her for many days (last time she texted me)... You know some times, I just realize using my logic that is not worthy doing all these things for a person who doesn't feel the same... But when the "love feeling" covers me, I desperately I want to try to have her again...

Many friends males and females agree that I was too much nice to her, and that she was so lucky. She even said it to me when texted me once that she feels very lucky... but...

It's just the DAMN feeling that I will never find a girl who I will love and she will love me back. I know it sounds silly but I just feel like that, that never a girl will love me back..

I am 18 by the way :)

talaniman · Jul 21, 2008, 05:11 PM

While your feeling are common, they are not true, as you will have many chances at love, and romance, and you must learn how to deal with those very intense feelings, in a positive logical way, least they betray you, and leave you in some embarrassing, humiliating positions, as you find yourself in now

What purpose can it serve, to love one that does not love you? Back off, and regroup, and leave her alone, no matter how strongly attracted you are.

fwnaklas · Jul 21, 2008, 05:30 PM

So next time if she texts me should I text back ? Or it's better to ignore her completely?

talaniman · Jul 21, 2008, 06:55 PM

Fwnaklas, so next time if she texts me should I text back ?

ABSOLUTELY NOT

or it's better to ignore her completely?

I prefer the term "dissappear from her life" either term you use stop the contact, for your own healing. It will also save your dignity and self respect a lot of misery, pain, drama, and confusion.

fwnaklas · Aug 7, 2008, 10:33 AM

Hello... over one month of NC at all... well she hasn't made any try for contact either... but the fact is that we never had any serious communication so I suppose she doesn't get the hint..

Anyway just to let you know... before some days I was with some guy friends and we were coming back home on foot, and my friends told me that on the other side of the road was her with a boy... well it was night and we can't be sure if it was her, because from the 2 friends who passed next to her, one had seen her only on photo, and the other has a bit of myopia... but the 3rd friend who was on the other side of road with me told me that she was pretty much like her... they told me that the boy was much worse comparing to me...

Even if it was her or not, I guess that she may have another boyfriend by now...

Well I want to ask you something

In a few days it's her name "birthday", so should I text her about it? Showing her again how unique I was? Or should avoid it?

And also in the end of the month we will be in a pool party of a common friend... how should I act in front of her ?

Romefalls19 · Aug 7, 2008, 10:40 AM

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

As for how to act, act like a perfectly happy person who is better off without her... Because you are

fwnaklas · Aug 7, 2008, 10:47 AM

Don't you think that it would be too rude of me not to say anything?

Romefalls19 · Aug 7, 2008, 10:49 AM

Don't you think it was rude of her to end it?

fwnaklas · Aug 7, 2008, 10:55 AM

Well... she didn't actually end anything, because we didn't have a normal relationship as I wanted. I feel that she did play with my feelings not because she is a bad person but because she was immature and did not know what she want...

Damn I don't know... I just think that I will feel guilty if I don't do anything at her name's "birthday"...

Romefalls19 · Aug 7, 2008, 11:09 AM

STOP MAKING EXCUSES FOR HER... You send that message, welcome back to step 1 of NC.. Constant wondering of what is going on

fwnaklas · Aug 7, 2008, 12:27 PM

Well actually, I can feel that time heals my wounds... I don't know why, but I feel better day by day. Sometime I really want to text her, or find her, or just see her but later I feel much better.

I know that it may sounds silly, but day by day I feel more free from her. I am still thinking of her everyday, but it becomes less while time pass..

I don't know for sure, but I suppose that if I text her even just to tell her happy name's birthday, I will put her again in my mind and I will think again of her more and more... and maybe even gain some hope again..

I have to make myself believe that the best is to avoid her at all...

Damn.. it's somehow difficult to forget a girl forever...

talaniman · Aug 7, 2008, 01:52 PM

damn.. it's somehow difficult to forget a girl forever...

You got that right buddy, but realize it works the other way around, as we fellows are as hard for them to completely forget too. Hehehehehehe!

Alty · Aug 26, 2008, 08:33 AM

I have to say right off that I didn't read all the posts, too many. ;)

Starby's Lil Bro, I have to say this, this girl is using you, she may not be doing it on purpose, but she is doing it.

She wants you around just in case, you are her security blanket, but she's not in love, and never will be.

Move on, find someone who gives you the same attention as you give her. There are tons of girls out there that would love to have a nice guy like you around. Girls that will make you as much a priority as you do them.

Forget this girl, go to no contact, move on, find someone else. :)

Oh, and listen to Tal, he knows what he's talking about. :)

hjpan · Aug 26, 2008, 09:08 AM

If I was in your shoes, I'd ignore her and find a new girl. Obviously, she's cheating behind her boyfriends' back already by making out.

fwnaklas · Aug 26, 2008, 09:27 AM

Originally Posted by Altenweg

I have to say right off that I didn't read all the posts, too many. ;)

Starby's Lil Bro, I have to say this, this girl is using you, she may not be doing it on purpose, but she is doing it.

She wants you around just in case, you are her security blanket, but she's not in love, and never will be.

Move on, find someone who gives you the same attention as you give her. There are tons of girls out there that would love to have a nice guy like you around. Girls that will make you as much a priority as you do them.

Forget this girl, go to no contact, move on, find someone else. :)

Oh, and listen to Tal, he knows what he's talking about. :)

Thanks alty for advice... we I can't believe that she was such a bad girl and wanted to hurt me, but I think she was selfish and hurt me like that... She didn't want to be in relationship with me but when I told her that I have to move on and continue with my life she said "don't do that to me now"... It really shows that she was not sure of what she wants... But the fact that she really treat me badly.. I know that I was so good at her and gave her all the care and attention I was looking for, but she just "played" with my feelings... Well I am in no contact with her for 2 months now and I have to see her since may... The fact is that sometimes, something happens and she comes to my mind when I least expect it...

I really think I am over her but I don't know how I'll be if I see her somewhere or if she texts me.. I don't want to get distracted...

If I was in your shoes, I'd ignore her and find a new girl. Obviously, she's cheating behind her boyfriends' back already by making out.

Well she had a relationship from distance and she knew that he was cheating her too... But that was the last thing I was worried for... She treated me badly and she hurt me really bad...

hjpan · Aug 26, 2008, 09:36 AM

Originally Posted by fwnaklas

Well she had a relationship from distance and she knew that he was cheating her too... But that was the last thing I was worried for... She treated me badly and she hurt me really bad...

You need to step up and find a new girl!

Alty · Aug 26, 2008, 09:36 AM

Lil Bro, don't be too hard on yourself if you think about her once in a while. You cared about her, and it's natural for her to pop in to your mind once in a while. It's only been 2 months. I think that you're doing great, just keeping looking forward, don't look back. What's in the past should be left there, and she is in the past.

You're still young, you will have many loves in your life, and then, one day, you'll meet the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with, and the wonderful thing will be that she feels the same way. You deserve to have someone that loves you as much as you love her, and you will find her, one day. :)

Stick to NC, don't give up, and remember, we're here if you need to talk. We've all been through this before, and we know how much it hurts and how hard it is. We've been down that road, so we can help you on your journey.

Chin up, shoulders squared, look straight ahead and keep walking, you're doing great! :)

Alty · Aug 26, 2008, 09:38 AM

Originally Posted by hjpan

You need to step up and find a new girl!

One day he will. Right now he needs to heal his heart. Jumping from the frying pan in to the fire is never a good idea. A "new girl" isn't going to fix anything, a rebound never lasts.

He needs to take his time, not rush into another relationship just to fill a void.

hjpan · Aug 26, 2008, 01:05 PM

Originally Posted by Altenweg

One day he will. Right now he needs to heal his heart. Jumping from the frying pan in to the fire is never a good idea. A "new girl" isn't going to fix anything, a rebound never lasts.

He needs to take his time, not rush into another relationship just to fill a void.

True~ he needs some time to himself =]

Kevin_s · Aug 26, 2008, 03:27 PM

To quote Forgetting Sarah Marshall

"When life gives you lemons, just say F the lemons and bounce."

This girl can't give you the answers your looking for, no use wasting your time trying anything with her when you're just going to be dissapointed each time.

Some times we all have to learn this the hard way.

Ignore her, even if she messages you.

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