[Antlion3130]

I think I'll try.

The food part is going to be hard, I don't feel that hungry anymore. I'll give it a shot. I'll do it all though.

It's gotten a little bit better progressively today. I just hope that tomorrow I don't lose all my work.

I'm trying to decide how to go about how to go about talking to a doctor about treating this. I don't want to talk to my parents about what I'm going through in detail. However I'm just a little shy of being legal so I can't go to the doctor on my own accord. I especially don't want to let my step dad know altogether either, so that is going to be a challenge.

Anything that makes life just a little better is worth a shot though.

[jrebel7]

Alty, you are a jewel. You gave some straighforward steps for our new friend to have a plan for a new starting place in his life.

Antlion, When I read your response, my heart sure leaped for joy that you are open to suggestions. I understand about the food part. I went through a time that nothing wanted to get past these lips and if it did, out it came. Sorry to be so graphic. But start with something. A little is better than nothing. Make sure to drink lots of fluids to keep hydrated.

Keep in your mind the idea of doing a fast pace walk each day if only for a few blocks... get your heart rate up. I know your body won't want to do it, going back to bed is easier and right now has been your comfort zone but your body needs the stimulation in order to get some endorphins built up in your system to help lift the depression.

Alty had a great idea of writing down how you feel each day, etc. You do seem to be very articulate and writing may be a gift in yourself you have not yet discovered you possess... a love of writing. Keep us posted. :)

[Antlion3130]

It's noon here, and I'm going to try and bring myself to do something soon.

I can already notice a weight loss. I don't weigh myself or anything, but when I took a shower today it was already noticeable.

I'm going to try and ride my bike today, in my mind the task seems so big and unappealing.

I used to write raw songs for fun (I say raw because my ability with instruments is limited, so it's hard to find a melody). I haven't for a while, I just don't want to. I might try today. I was however able to get myself to write an article about music the other day. It wasn't long, but again it was a nice break.

I might try reading today. The hard thing though is going to keep my mind from glazing over the text and thinking about all of this again. At least with writing I can't have my eyes glaze over.

[starbuck8]

I think that sounds great Antlion! I'm so glad you are putting in the effort to help yourself. You will feel better at the end of the day if you do these things. I understand what you mean about reading. Sometimes you do catch yourself staring at the words and not absorbing them, but it's worth a try. Make sure you read something that really interests you.

You know you could probably find something on the internet that could give you some tips with your guitar playing, or just keep practicing and I'm sure you'll come up with something. I love it that you write music, keep it up! Here's just a thought to keep in mind. You said you felt like you never knew what to talk about in groups of people. Well playing the guitar is a way around that to break the ice... and there is a big bonus too... girls luuuuuvvvv guys that can play them a song! My brother was a really shy kid, and he would sit in his room with his guitar. Then he taught himself to play keyboards, and then drums. Now he is in a very successful band, and everyone wants to hang around him, and be his friend. Just something to think about. If you practice hard enough, those are the rewards.

I hope you have a nice time on your bike ride. Go somewhere nice! Getting out there and onto your bike is the hardest part. Once you're on it, just go for it.

Try and have the best day you can!

(and for God sakes, try and eat something... anything! You need nutrition! I bet you are a bit more hungry after your bike ride)

[Stringer]

I was glad to hear you say Antlion that you are getting involved in some of the activities that you enjoy, if even a little. Hobbies and interests can add needed value in times like these. There has been some great advice from caring people here Antlion, please listen to what you are hearing here it isn't fake we do care and want to help in any way that we can. Please look to your future, you sound like and intelligent, bright person who has a lot to give to this world. We are all needed, we all make up a piece of this place you know.

You know, someday you may be that special person that is there when someone else is in need and may be the person that has the insight to say the right thing and help them in their time of need. Many times a person is in the right spot at the right time. You are a valuable resource that the world needs.

Stringer

[Alty]

It's noon here, and I'm going to try and bring myself to do something soon.

I can already notice a weight loss. I don't weigh myself or anything, but when I took a shower today it was already noticeable.

I'm going to try and ride my bike today, in my mind the task seems so big and unappealing.

I used to write raw songs for fun (I say raw because my ability with instruments is limited, so it's hard to find a melody). I haven't for a while, I just don't want to. I might try today. I was however able to get myself to write an article about music the other day. It wasn't long, but again it was a nice break.

I might try reading today. The hard thing though is going to keep my mind from glazing over the text and thinking about all of this again. At least with writing I can't have my eyes glaze over.

I have an idea. Antlion, Guy plays the guitar, you write songs, maybe you two should join forces. :)

Riding you bike is a great idea, but don't just think about it, get up and do it. Exercise is a great way to release endorphins, and endorphins make you happier. So ride your bike, write songs, write articles, read, do what you enjoy, you'll be surprised. At first you'll have to push yourself to do these things, but before you know it, you'll be doing them because you really want to, and they've become a part of your life.

For myself, I used to paint, haven't done it for a while because of a loss in my life, but thanks to the people on this site, I'm starting to paint again, yup, it's been 7 years since I picked up a paint brush, but now, I'm excited to start, just need some new supplies.;)

So, find something you love, or something you've always wanted to try, don't be afraid, you can't succeed if you don't try, a wise man named Stringer (yup, on this site) once told me that.

We're here, so talk to us, we'll do our very best to help you through this. Know that you're not alone, allot of us have suffered through depression, and other things, everyone has something in their life that they've gone through and lived through, now it's your turn. You don't have to do this alone, you've got a huge support group right here, and you'll find one where you live.

I hope you tell us how you're doing, good or bad, we're here to listen and to offer advice when we can. We don't always have the answer, but we do have ears to listen, and hearts to care.

Alty :)

[Chery]

Stringer, Alty, Starby, and Rebby... You are all so insightful and warm in give your caring support - I know I've benefited from it since 2005 and I'm still here.

Antlion.. I did the stay in bed thing, got anxiety attacks and didn't even answer the doorbell or phone after I got out of the hospital from a stroke - almost catatonic state, but the good people here helped me and after a few months I started coming on here again. So, believe us when we tell you we know how it's like and that the things we suggest can help you a lot. For months I stayed away from news programs on the TV and watched only comedy and cartoons.. they kept me entertained while my mind was wandering from one place to another and kept me occupied enough for a few hours a day helping me be distracted from my depressive thoughts. My depression came from my illnesses and being powerless against them and the possibility of not being here for my daughter and grandson - I felt totally worthless for months. And I am one of those individuals that does not believe in antidepressive medication.. so it was extra hard.

But we all have our 'issues' as Altenweg said, so you can be darned sure that you can talk about anything and everything under the sun with us and we will understand and try our best to help you gain and maintain strength. We know it's hard to eat a normal meal, but get a yogurt or ice-cream on the way while riding your bike, rest and enjoy a good flavor. I'm glad you are at least thinking of leaving the house - that is one major breakthrough!

You will have your up days and also your down days, but as long as you talk to us about them, while taking care of finding a good doctor and/or therapist, you have won 20% of the battle and the scale is moving up. You don't have to get into detail with your parents (and they probably already sense that something is bothering you), so just let them know you need their help in straightening some things out. I'm sure they will not pressure you into telling them more until you feel like letting them know.

Again, stay with us and don't let anyone purposely drag you down again. If that happens, come on here and get our Virtual Hugs and support.

[jrebel7]

Chery, just sharing your struggles means a lot but you multiply that by giving good helpful suggestions for the day. I love the part about not watching news and watching comedies. I have had to do that at times and it does help so much. Laughter is certainly good medicine!!

Antlion, I will be checking for updates from you and please know you can get through this and come out of this as the amazing person you ARE. :)

[Alty]

Antlion, I would like to extend an invitation to you. On this site we have something called member discussion, it's a place to start a discussion, or start a thread for you and your friends to meet. Well, it just so happens that I have two such threads going right now. Guy visits us when he can, and so do many other regulars. We're a silly group, have fun, tell jokes, and other silly antics. I'd love it if you join us. I'm posting the link to my castle, yup, you heard right, castle. Just click on the link and come on in. :)

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/lounge...ed-235749.html

[jrebel7]

Antlion, I would like to extend an invitation to you. On this site we have something called member discussion, it's a place to start a discussion, or start a thread for you and your friends to meet. Well, it just so happens that I have two such threads going right now. Guy visits us when he can, and so do many other regulars. We're a silly group, have fun, tell jokes, and other silly antics. I'd love it if you join us. I'm posting the link to my castle, yup, you heard right, castle. Just click on the link and come on in. :)

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/lounge...ed-235749.html

Might want to read it from the beginning just to get the real feel of the Castle, right? I think this is a great suggestions and invitation Alty. I hope he will join us! :p

[Alty]

Read from the beginning, wow, that's allot of reading, the castle in up to over 1000 posts. :)

We get together, talk, joke around. I know the guys would love it if you join us, they think there are too many females in the castle.

I think you'd have fun there, fun is always a good thing. :)

[jrebel7]

Read from the beginning, wow, that's allot of reading, the castle in up to over 1000 posts. :)

We get together, talk, joke around. I know the guys would love it if you join us, they think there are too many females in the castle.

I think you'd have fun there, fun is always a good thing. :)

Oh my goodness Alty, I didn't realize!! Up to 1000 already. I have been having so much fun I didn't even notice! You are right, that is a lot of reading. It all comes together eventually anyway... tons of fun! ;)

[Alty]

Antlion, really, join us, I'm sure you'll have a blast. Come here to talk about your problems, and come to the castle to laugh! Really, do it, I'll be watching for you. :)

[Antlion3130]

So here is an update like you guys were talking about.

It took a lot to get out of bed today. It didn't happen easily, nor quickly. But eventually I was able to get out of the house if only for a few minutes. I didn't do anything rigorous, but I got out nonetheless. I didn't really feel good while I was doing it though.

However I had a mini-epiphany staring at my back yard today. I was able to organize a few thoughts and have a few good thoughts for once. I thought what could happen in the next few years if I really put all my effort into fighting this. It gives me something to look forward to and a little comfort.

I know I have a lot ahead of me though. I still feel an overwhelming sense of loneliness, but if I can achieve some goals I have set up for my future, every single second of pain is well spent.

I feel like I've made quite a bit of progress from Friday. I'm probably going to take a step back this coming week, I'm not ready to muster up the strength to go back to work. But the life I could lead in the future is worth working at.

Maybe tomorrow I'll bring myself to write something.

[Alty]

I'm so glad that you are trying, that's a huge step. Looking to your future is great, because you have so much ahead of you.

You still have allot ahead of you, but you had so much more on Friday. Today you are on the right track, getting ready to walk down that road, on Friday you were no where near that track and didn't have directions to the road. So, your journey begins. There will be bumps in the road, sometimes the road will split and you'll have to choose which path you take, there will be times when you want to stop walking, or want to turn back, and you'll start to wonder if you'll ever get to the end of the road. Then one day, you'll get out of bed, and know, just know, that you've reached your destination, and oh what a wonderful place it will be. Truly, it will be, I promise you.

Loneliness is hard to deal with, but there's an easy solution. Go out, meet people, give them a chance, you'll be surprised.

I can't wait to hear how you are doing day to day, share the happiness, but also share the sadness and the pain, we can't help you deal with it if we don't know about it.

Now, I've got to go, I need to take some cold meds and get some sleep, my throat hurts and I want to get rid of this asap.

Take care, we're here when you need us, any time you need us. Got that? :)

[Unknown008]

Hi, antlion! As you can see, I'm Unknown008, but some call me Unky, or rarely Jerry, for short. I've been going through the thread for sometime now, but the ideas, suggestions and sharings from our dear members (alty, starby, stringer, rebbie, c momma) were better than what I could ever have given. But here, I think that I can have my little word.

It's great that you have been able to get out of bed! Even if it is slow, no worry. I know it is difficult. But as we've said earlier, "a little is better than nothing", posted by jrebel, whom we call as Rebbie. So, I'll ask you to try to get up a little faster, lets say, each three days, for the sake of not pushing you too much.

The essential is that you're at least getting out a bit! And what exactly made you not feel good? Try to do something that you know can make you feel better, during your walks or rides (except alcohol and cigarettes!).

if I can achieve some goals I have set up for my future, every single second of pain is well spent.

Well said!

And don't forget to visit the castle! I'll put the link again, because its growing everyday!

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/lounge...235749-55.html

There's also the Bunny Binky Room, where you can find lots of animals (bunnies, dogs, cats, ducks, turtles, bunnies, g-pigs, hamsters and even got a skunk recently!) Here's the link:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/lounge...235381-33.html

You may want to read the posts from the start, how everyone joins in, etc. This is a great idea! It'll give you something to read! And surely, something to write also in response to our posts. Both are fun, you'll see. I'm looking forward to see you there, on any of the threads!

Keep on this site and we'll surround you, making the sense of loneliness fly away, right everyone? Antlion, just keep to the great advices given by all of us, I'm sure that you'll have the will to overcome the current situation, and who knows, you'll perhaps be able to prevent others from harming themselves! By saving yourself, you can save many others! Just like dear Alty and Chery are doing here! I sincerely hope that you'll be going better and, concerning your parents, I hope that you reconciliate. I'm certain that deep inside, your father never meant that, but he did say that under the influence of perhaps anger.

Keep safe.
Sincerely,
Unky

[Chery]

Hi, I Have a good friend of mine who's been battling depression for a past couple years, and he's been opening up to me and I've afraid that I'm giving him the wrong Advice, This is less about me and more about him.

Hey Guy.. thanks for getting Antlion to come on here. I think everyone needs a friend like you - so come back to the Bunny room or castle and we'll have a little party for you.

And Antlion, you are invited of course, only if and when you feel up to it..

[jrebel7]

Antlion, we are thinking of you today and hoping good things for you! Looking forward to hearing an update from you! If today was one of those days where you choose to just chill abit, we understand that also... been there done that! Just know we are all pulling for you! :)

[starbuck8]

I agree with Rebby! Don't get overwhelmed! Just take things day by day, and increase your activities as you go. We'll always be here to listen, and don't think you can't come on if you've had another bad day. You won't let us down. Everyday that you take another step, is just that... another step forward from where you were. If you have to take a step back once in awhile, well, know that you have made a few more steps in the right direction.

We're all glad to know you! :)

[Alty]

I third that motion. Keep coming back, unload all the bad stuff, let us carry some of the weight that's on your shoulders.

Just so you know that you aren't alone, I'm posting a link to a thread that I started, it seems like forever ago, but it really wasn't that long. Just to show you, we all have our demons to deal with. Having said that, I'll post the link, you read, you'll get a bit of insight in to me, and realize also that there's nothing you can't talk about with us. The people on this site helped me more than anything when I went through my own personal battle, and we'll be there for you too. Alone you are weak, but with many around you, holding you up, helping you take each step, honey, then you are strong;

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mental...me-195877.html

Grab hold and don't let go, we're all her for you when you need us, in good times and in bad. I can personally vouche for the people on this thread, they are kind caring people, friends, although we've never met face to face, and now, my dear, you are included in this link, you are a friend. I hope you know that you aren't alone, and never will be again!