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mixedup · Apr 30, 2006, 05:38 PM

I've just gotten out of a relationship (about 3 weeks ago)with a guy that played some pretty big games with me, and now I'm beginning to actually "date" for the first time. I have only really had two boyfriends and they were both fairly serious relationships. I started dating my frist boyfriend when I was 15 and we were together for 3 years, soon after that I became involved with my recent ex-boyfriend and we were in a fairly serious (or so I thought) relationship for about a year.
So, the problem is I have never really 'dated' before, I've never went out with a guy I didn't really know.
I met a guy that I really like and we have been on 3 dates so far, the last date we were on things got a little hot and heavy, but we did not sleep together, and I am just sort of wondering how this type of thing works.
I've only sexually been with my past two boyfriends, and we never really "dated" per say because we hung out as friends first and saw each other for quite awhile.
I guess I'm just wondering what the "normal" course of actions for sexual relations is for a 19 year old girl.
I know most of you will probably say "when you feel you're ready" or something along those lines, but I figured I would ask anyway.
This will sound silly, but is there some sort of rule to how many dates you have before you sleep with a guy? I have never had a one night stand, and I really like this guy, so I could see us having a relationship for awhile at least.
What do you guys think?

JoeCanada76 · Apr 30, 2006, 06:08 PM

Well the last lines you wrote, I really like this guy, so I could see us having a relationship for a while at least.

Then you ask me what I think.

Here goes, first of all why would you settle for something that could last for a while at least? For me personally, I think the best thing to do is wait for the person that you truly love and truly want to be with and wait for marriage. '

It sounds like you are ready but now a days. The regular routine is found out how many partners this person has had. Get him tested for diseases and yourself before you decide to continue.

Joe

talaniman · May 1, 2006, 05:11 AM

I can never understand what's the hurry is with today's young people to jump into relationships after 1-2 dates and then trip 6-7 months later when they find out that Sir Galahad is a toad. Whatever happened to dating to get to know someone or just the fun of dating around with different people. Is it me or am I so old that it just looks like the young people today rush from one person to the other like I change socks everyday? (And swear they're in love!) :cool: :eek:

fredg · May 1, 2006, 05:46 AM

Hi,
Just so you will know where I am coming from, I am 64 yrs old, married now for 29 yrs. My first marriage ended in Divorce after 7 yrs.
At 19, you are just learning about dating, relationships, and life. Dating can be fun, but it can be filled with questions.
PLEASE don't sleep with anyone while getting to know someone!
Your chances of getting pregnant are 4 out of 10! At least, that's the national average right now, with that ratio of girls in the US becoming pregnant before they are 20 yrs old. I, too, don't know why the rush into sex... never did know why.
Wait to have sex with someone until you get to know them, or at least until you find out this relationship will last... that could take 6 months or so.
Many men are out for just one thing... sex! You won't know that until you tell him "no"; wait a few months, and see what happens with the relationship.
I do wish you the best, and good luck.

Wildcat21 · May 1, 2006, 01:49 PM

Yeah... take it slow... communication is key... eveytime I rush into the sex thing it screws things up.

Talk about it. Talk about what you BOTH want and not when it is about to happen.

Use protection please.

Lansing · May 3, 2006, 06:36 AM

I agree with others. I think you are better to wait until you really know this guy (i.e. could take 6 months for his "true" colours to come out... )...

Sex is a POWERFUL bond. If you rush into it, you will think you are "in love" with him even if he turns out to be a jerk. If you don't rush into it, I think you are better able to put things in perspective.

Krs · May 3, 2006, 07:36 AM

Keep him waiting a little bit.
Treat them mean and keep them keen, I believe in that saying.
If he really really likes you - he will wait and respect your decission.
I made my partner wait 3 months, before we slept together and he respected my decission ( as it was mine obviously not his ) but never complained and said that if I wanted to wait longer he would have simply waited for me.
8 years we have been together, and now we are married :)
Don't rush into things, it never works out.

adema6953 · Aug 31, 2007, 10:07 AM

I believe that getting to know him is the best. I am 20 and I met this guy a work. We have been dating for a month or so. Things got heft and we thought we were pregneat. Don't make this mistake now things are a little werid between us that we found out I'm not. Were not in love but the feeling of love are there. So I know we will pull through. But not everything ends with a happy ending. Don't rush into something just sit back and enjoy the ride and relax. Grow together as a couple first. That's my advise.