[JsMommy1204]

Wow.. personally, I think 2 months without talking is a long time. I know with my current boyfriend, if I go 2 days without calling him, he freaks out and assumes something's wrong. I guess it all depends on how patient you want to be. I question the fact that he hasn't made any attempt to call you. I just think that's weird.

Also, If he's the one who asked for the break. I think you need to respect that and let him make the first move. Otherwise, you may be pressuring him. He knows your patiently waiting for him {assuming you've made that clear to him}.. now just wait it out. For how long though? I think for as long as it takes for you to realize what you really want out of this relationship. 'accepting the relationship is over" and "how long it takes for him to leave you heart.. {if ever]" are two different time frames. Don't expect it to be from one day to the next..

Just analyze the situation and keep in mind, if its happening now.. who's to say it won't happen again the next time he has a meltdown. As your partner/bf/whatever, he needs to include you in his life, in all aspects. In the good and bad times. Not just shut you out when life s on him. You know?

[lola nyc]

Yeah I get that..

I just can't get on with my life.. I cant.. I want to buy a place to live of my own.. why do that if he then says OK come to CA. I can't go meet new guys without knowing what he's doing.

UGH so you think don't call? I don't know why he hasn't called me.. Im mad about that. You think if he thought I was mad would he not call for fear? Or am I making stuff up now?

Would a call next week just to say Hi, how are you doing.. be bad? Rather than ask how WE are?

2 months is a lifetime to me..

When we 1st started dating we only saw each other on weekends.. when with all my other bf's we saw each other every day...

Then with this guy he didn't like talking on the phone everyday.. so it was every 2-3 days.. we use to text on the computer a lot then that stopped this year..

So I don't know if he thinks 2 months is long enough... he may not.. sometimes he says the weeks go by in a blur that he has no idea what day it is.

Im wishing this summer away so I can get to my birthday and find out!. I can't believe that after all we have been through he would drop me like a bag of shi*. I don't think I will EVER trust a man again after this.

[eastcoast1]

Hi there- You need to stop making excuses for him, he is a grown man and has made a decision, whether it be the right decision or the wrong one, unfortunately you can't decide or control that.

If you love him let him be, but you can't sit there and wait for him putting your life on hold is not the answer here. You are not in your early 20s anymore where someone might be trying to figure out who they are, or what they want in life. A 6 year relationship when your both in your 30s should be a mature venture, and a balanced one. Do you want to spend the rest of your life with someone who bolts when times are tough?

What everyone on here is telling you, is to focus on yourself, don't put emphasis on the whole meeting other people perspective, just do you. Go out, enjoy yourself, spend time with family, things that make you happy.

He is doing exactly that, he isn't focusing on you right now, he's focusing on himself. If in time your paths cross again, ask yourself if this is something you want to do again, the chances of him pulling the vanishing act are high, I've been there BELIEVE me.

Good Luck!

[lola nyc]

Yeah I know everyone has said they have been there... but everyone's situation is different. I have friends who dated 10 yrs before they got married. He was afraid didn't want to.. etc.. Finally he did it.. I have another friend whose BF refused to have sex with her when they 1st started dating for months.. she would CRY to us why doesn't he want me.. well 7 yrs later they are married.

I have friends who are divorced. Guys who cheated.. guy who sold drugs.. I mean you name it!

I don't feel like he'd do this again... I feel like it will be a yes or no at this point. And I don't feel like he will leave me hanging.. without a final break up. We have so many friends in common.. I know his whole family.. it would be crazy to just be like see you.

If he does that then OK I guess I know what type of man he is then. My heart will harden eventually.. right now its RAW...

[eastcoast1]

I don't think anyone deserves to be put on the backburner, sorry but life is too short for BS. I understand that people deal with situations differently, but personally if I were going through something like he is; the 1st person I would turn to for support would be my g/f of 6 years, I wouldn't split across the country and say I need time.

That's just me though, I really do hope the best for you lola, I've been in your shoes before and I can relate to the RAW feeling you have right now. My situation; she came back a month later, we were together an additional year and then after a wonderful vacation, she did it again...

[lola nyc]

I know I don't deserve this.

He said he had to figure things out, if he wants to make me drop my life here and move.. I always said I wouldn't move without a ring. He doesn't think I should either. That's why he's thinking.

I can't support him with what he's going through, There's nothing I can do. I don't even know the full stories of what's happening.. he doesn't like to air his families dirty laundry.. I only know what I see and what he tells me..

I know its long.. I know... but I have this feeling in my gut we aren't over.

So Im going to follow that for right now.

Im hoping by next week I'll have all my answers.

[lola nyc]

I'm not reading on this board anymore.