[Christie463]

Hello,
My son (now 25 yrs old) dated a girl (now 24 yrs old) for a year or so. She discovered she was pregnant, quit her job (here in Florida) and moved to be with her parents in Tennessee approximately 6 months before the baby was born. (The baby is now 3 months old)

My son felt like their relationship was not very stable, but he quit his job, left the four generations of family he has in FL and moved to TN to be near her and the baby. The girl lives with her parents, and when my son first moved to TN, he also stayed with her parents.

The baby was born April 2008 and there was a battle from Day 1.

1.) The girl didn't want her baby to have my son's last name or my son's name on the birth certificate. They argued and eventually she gave in, but her parents threw my son out of their home over it! (The parents evidently wanted to, at most, have a hyphenated last name)

2.) My son moved into his own apartment and the girl allowed my son to see the baby sporadically, at best. She always demanded that if he wanted to see his son, he'd have to "pay for it" by giving her "X" amount of dollars. He would pay her "X" amount, she'd write him a handwritten receipt, and he'd get to see the baby that day.

3.) The girl now demands an amount he cannot afford. He isn't allowed to see the baby until he pays her first.

4.) She claims she has already gone to Child Support Enforcement and plans to take him to court for a set amount every week, which is fine, but the girl says she wants retroactive child support back to the child's birth.

What are the laws in TN regarding retroactive child support? What rights do the fathers have in TN?

My son has no problem paying her child support every week or month, but she is demanding way more than he can afford to pay and is unable to see his son until this is sorted out.

Thanks so much!

[N0help4u]

He takes her to court for a child custody/visitation/support order then she can no longer call the shots. The Judge will say how much he is suppose to pay, how often he is allowed to have his son and what say he is to have in the babies life.
He needs to make sure to take all the receipts to court so the Judge can decide how much of them he is going to take into consideration for back support.
He is better off doing this asap because down the road the back support difference can really add up.

[cjonline]

I agree.

Just want to add that he doesn't have to wait for Child Support Enforcement to go to court for the support and they won't talk about the custody and/or visitation he will have to file for that himself. In fact if I were him I wouldn't wait for anything, I would just go down to the courthouse and file so you have a date on record.

When you go to court take everything. Any papers that prove that he paid for the baby things or gave her cash, if she wrote it out on a paper and signed it, it's better for your son. Have him keep paying some kind of support (not in cash though) to prove he will or has been paying the support. Most states have a support guideline that will help you figure out how much should be paid. He can do it online and print it out and pay that amount if he can. If he pays that amount take the print out to court to show how he got to that number.

[N0help4u]

That is what I mean he should go and apply for a hearing for paying support, getting his rights and getting visitation and get it done all at once.

[ScottGem]

Generally support is based on a formula based on a person's income. That's probably why she hasn't actually filed for support yet, because she's trying to intimidate him into paying more then the courts will order.

He needs to get an attorney and immediately file for joint custody and for a specific visitation schedule. He has rights but he needs to get a court to enforce them. Letting himself be subject to the whims of this girl and her family is asking for trouble.

[stinawords]

I fully agree with the other posters... tell him to get to court ASAP!

[cdad]

Also try to understand and don't let the courts walk over him on this. It IS a baby we are talking about and usually the courts are less liberal with visitation when the child is under 1 year old. So he might have limited visitation until after the child is 1 year old. Make sure he is aware of this and gets it in writing that his visitation is expanded as the child grows older. Most likely sounds like this " mom - cough " is going to say she breast feeds and that usually negates portions of visitation for the dad. That's why he needs to make sure if its limited now it will expand later.