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New Member
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Jul 3, 2008, 05:18 PM
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Too Paranoid over porn?
Okay... Me and my boyfriend have been going out for a year and a bit and we both lost our virginity to each other... I tend to be a person who is very self-concious,especially when it comes to porn,I mean its not the worst thing in the world,but it does make me nervous because I'm kind of suspicious that my boyfriend is watching it behind my back,I've talked to him before and explaind how much it hurt me,and he's sworn to me that he never watches it,but just lastnite,I went to bed early and my boyfriend was p till 3 in the morning and today I went on my laptop and all the search history was cleared and the volume was off completely,not to mention the fact that he was very eager to try some new things in the bedroom,I asked him about it,and he said he didn't,I would believe him only that he said he used to watch it every single day before he met me,I didn't think he would just stop suddenly,am I being paranoid?
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Expert
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Jul 3, 2008, 06:53 PM
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Ok, trying to make this from a practical view point, The preacher in me of course says that >>>>> But you are a couple and it appears you are living together. There is a difference between being adicted to porn and watching it sometimes, Now it can often give him a bad idea of the relationship of women in sex, normally in porn they are a object to be used. But then for couples that have a boring sex life, watching it together will give them some new ideas ( if they both like it and use it for those reasons)
But what is worst, is if he is lying about it, since deleting history can be many things, I delete history, temp pages and cookies ever couple days all the time, plus run all sorts of virus checks. But if he is hiding it and lying about it, then that is the problem, the lying more than the reason for the lie.
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Expert
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Jul 4, 2008, 08:42 AM
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The porn is not your problem, his willingness to lie is.
How old are you both??
Me and my boyfriend have been going out for a year and a bit and we both lost our virginity to each other...
A year even though you have had sex, seems a bit soon to be living together, or know each other well enough to have a communication going, nor to have built up a trust, or a way to work together. We all have problems, and issues, and usually some issues only hide others, as you don't believe him, and you may be right. That's why you check behind him, and he covers his trail.
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Junior Member
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Aug 22, 2008, 03:42 PM
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I'm pretty sure its normal for guys to watch porn. I have brothers, cousins and guy pals who even have porn videos on their cellphones. The fact that he lied about it is not cool - although you do not have any actual proof. He may have lied to you because he was embarrassed about his little fetish. That is weird though - how old is your boyfriend? Older - normal guys don't usually obsess over porn - not everyday at least.
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Ultra Member
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Aug 24, 2008, 09:51 AM
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From reading your post I get the impression porn is not the problem here. Neither of you trust the other. You wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is check his internet history? That's not a porn problem, that's a trust problem. I can't tell from your post if he's lying or if he's paranoid, but if neither one of you can be honest with the other then what's the point of having a relationship? A relationship needs honesty, trust, and respect and while it's impossible to say from a few sentences how much that is missing, it is clear that there is not 100% honesty, trust, and respect.
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Junior Member
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Jan 4, 2009, 05:20 PM
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You have every reason to feel the way you feel. I guess you could kind of say I'm in a similar situation. Or I was or something... I don't really want to get into it on here. But I've been in my relationship for almost 3 years. And we are 100% honest with each other. And he promised me it was over because he didn't want to hurt me again. I think you need to talk to him and tell him that this relationship is only going to work if you two are honest with each other and you need to know what happen that night. I don't know how to private message yet. I don't really want to post my email address on here. But if you need someone to talk to about it privately you can repost on here and ill give you my email.
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