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doniababer · Jun 30, 2008, 01:53 PM

I have a wonderful 5 year old son and have been asking his dad for help for 5 years. He has helped once or twice when my son was still in diapers but nothing more than that. He has also chosen, through many attempts on my part, to deny seeing or having contact with our son. I recently asked if he could afford $50-$100 a month and he told me no because he is raising his two sons on his own. He has however told me that if I take him for child support he will fight me for visitation. After not knowing this man for 5 years I am afraid of how my son would take being ripped away from me. Can I get child support after all this time without him getting visitation if he wants it?

MsMewiththat · Jun 30, 2008, 01:58 PM

Why fight it. Your son has brothers that he may benefit from knowing. You made the decision to bring him in this world with this man, share him. Unless you have a very good reason to keep him from his father, let him in his life. The child support threat shouldn't be taken seriously. Visitation is not going to be granted at the child support hearing. That would require a separation action on his part. Will he do it? Even if he does, you will benefit from sharing the child. It's hard to ask them to kick in and then not allow them to establish a relationship with the child. 5 yrs is not too late to start. It's never to late. Your son will begin to ask questions if he hasn't already. Go for it. They will start slow. My additional advise to you would be to go straight to the court house and get that child support it will better your lives.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 30, 2008, 02:22 PM

First you have done nothing right up to this point, you can not make or force him to see the child and just "asking" for support is nothing.
First he can force his visitation anytime he wants, no matter if he is or is not paying child support, one is not connected to the other, you can not stop him from having visits if he wishes, he can merely get a court order.

You have to stop playing around and file for child support though the courts.

George_1950 · Jun 30, 2008, 02:40 PM

Originally Posted by doniababer

After not knowing this man for 5 years I am afraid of how my son would take being ripped away from me. Can i get child support after all this time without him getting visitation if he wants it?

He can get visitation whether he pays child support or not. From your perspective, do you believe that by asking for child support that he is going to rearrange his life for a relationship with your son? Not likely, in my opinion; though I would like to be wrong.