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LIVINGINANGUISH · Jun 27, 2008, 01:24 PM

I am now 20yrs old but when I was 15 my brother in law tried to drug me and rape me. Again I was 15 and he was 33yrs old. I talked him out of it and he didn't get to have sex with me. I never told anyone until recently and am now dealing with the reprucussions of this. In order to heal I want to press charges and make him pay for what he did, I'm traumatized now and I started cutting myself because of this. Is there a statue of limitations on reporting something like this

Fr_Chuck · Jun 27, 2008, 02:29 PM

Yes there is, it varies by state, you need to contact the local DA. Also a 5 year old crime with no evidence may not be prosecuted by the DA after reporting it.

Did your couselor tell you that you needed to report it ? If you are cutting you need professional help since this incident was 5 years ago and while it is a issue to get over if you are still having serious problems you need professional help

smearcase · Jun 27, 2008, 04:12 PM

I have read about cases where they go back an indefinite amount of time, some 30 years or more, with these types of crimes. But is there a case here? Was there a crime or did you stop it from occurring? As it stands now, it is maybe a crime that was thwarted and it sounds like only you and he know about it. I know a young minister who was assaulted at that age and his biggest problem was seeing the relative frequently. I can't tell you what he did because I don't want to be leading you in any particular direction but he handled it without any violence and he said he felt some relief afterwards. If you press charges make sure you can prove your case or the publicity and loss will make you feel worse. Can you find a group with similar problems that meets in your area?

westnlas · Jun 27, 2008, 04:26 PM

As life happens, some people are caught up in events that they have no control over. At some point the trauma caused by such an event can either consume you, or you can learn to cope with it. Some people are helped by discussing and keeping the event alive, others put it in a closeted place and get past it. I'm sorry that the attempted rape has damaged you so badly, but I don't see how allowing this failed rape consume you is in your benefit. Things are what they are. Retribution and vengeance are not usually good answers. I don't think you will gain anything and have a lot to lose by hanging on to this event.

JudyKayTee · Jun 28, 2008, 03:46 PM

Originally Posted by LIVINGINANGUISH

I am now 20yrs old but when I was 15 my brother in law tried to drug me and rape me. Again I was 15 and he was 33yrs old. I talked him out of it and he didnt get to have sex with me. I never told anyone until recently and am now dealing with the reprucussions of this. In order to heal I want to press charges and make him pay for what he did, I'm traumatized now and I started cutting myself because of this. Is there a statue of limitations on reporting something like this

I think the answer is in your language - he "tried" to drug you; he "tried" to rape you; you talked him out of it; he didn't have sex with you.

Maybe 5 years ago you had an attempted crime but now it's your word against his - and there was no drugging and there was no raping.

Who have you told about this? A health care professional? What did they say? You can always go to the Police and get their suggestions and see what they will do - but I don't think you'll get anywhere.