[shawna777]

My fiancée just died and I feel so depressed he was my very best friend and I don't know how to live without him . U feel nobody will ever love me as much as he loved me and I loved him with all my heart . How do I go on without him live doesn't have the same feeling, he made me so happy

[starbuck8]

Oh Gosh honey! My heart and sympathy go out to you!

You need time to grieve. There is no set time limit, and you will probably hurt, and miss him for a long time. Surround yourself with people who love you, and let them help you get through the initial grief.

Try just talking to him outloud, or in your head if you need to. I'm sure he can still hear you. Keep a journal, and write down all of your thoughts, and love for him. Honour his memory, and do things that you know he would have wished and wanted for you.

Again, I'm very sorry for your loss.

[Laura321]

He must have been a wonderful person to make you feel this way!! Cherish his love and he will know you loved him and always will. This will become easier for you to cope with my dear. Surround yourself with memories.. pictures and talk to people about him. You will feel that you won't get over this but you will... The pain becomes easier and You will learn to live with this and be happy again. He would not have wanted you to suffer like you are doing - but easier said than done. Your pain will ease in time my dear and you will smile again. You must grieve him to move on and this is the only way... Family and friends are your best counsellers even if it doesn't feel that way. You will come through this but you have a journey to get there!! Xxx

[IM4U]

An initial emotional reaction in loss for many people seems to be shock and disbelief. This can't be true. I'm going to wake up any moment and find that this was just a nightmare!

Someone has suggested talking. People in grief, who can find a trusted friend or family member who can let them say anything they need to say, are fortunate. This needs to be someone who can listen without judgment or saying, "You shouldn't feel that way" or "You'll get over this real soon."

Western society does not appear to find it easy to let people grieve. So, we do not find it easy sometimes to allow ourselves to grieve. Some consider open grieving a sign of weakness.

You mentioned depression. To intercept a really problematic downer, you may wish to give some thought to a combination of medical and counseling support.

You have already received some helpful suggestions here. The people who offered them seem to really care. They sounded as if they were extending their hearts as well as their heads. I offer these thoughts in that same spirit.

Grief recovery is a process, not a single and discernible moment. Give yourself time, avoid serious romantic relationships for a year, give or take, and allow yourself to feel your feelings and to express them in ways that do not harm you or others.

These views and opinions are not provided within the context of a professional-client relationship. Any reader applying them in life situations assumes sole responsibility for the results of doing so.