[Laura321]

Hi there!

I have never posted before for advice so thanks for reading this, If anyone can give advice it would be much appreciated.

I am a forty year old divorcée with three beautiful grown up children. I fell in love with a wonderful man last year who also was going through a divorce. However the tide turned when his ex started to play up and threaten suicide if he did not go back to her. He hung out and became quite depressed as she began to use the children in her war games. He stood up to her antics until christmas time where he became depressed as he decided to return to her and try again. I was devastated and in fairness so was he. I respected him for his decision but my heart was broken. I had never experienced such pain. However as predicted his relationship with his wife broke down again. (3 months later) and he wants us to try again. I have told him to take time out from both of us but he told me his relationship with his wife could not work because he loved me so much. He regrets what he did as he loves me so much... I know he loves me and am not ignorant or blind.
But feel so confused with the whole situation. He says he is prepared to wait for me to make my decision even if he has to wait years. He has never lied to me and tells me I was never second choice? I feel sorry for his situation but sorrier for mine.

Am I making the right decision going back to him as I do love him so much? Or should I stay clear and try to get over him? I gave up my job and my home to try to get over him without success. So did he. He wants to make it up to me but I am so scared of getting hurt again?? Im so confused!

[Credendovidis]

Laura

It is not you who has to make a decision. He should !
This time it either should be divorce first (or at least filing for a divorce), and you after that.
Any other sequence is not advised. Unless you want to become the on-off stand-by wife.
To take him in now again - or go back to him at this moment is the wrong decision. At least in my opinion !

The best with both of you!

:)

[tickle]

Laura, anyone of us has really only one chance at true love and indecision will always be the downside to finding it in a lifetime.

I would say 'go for it', try again with him and good luck to you both.

[Laura321]

Laura

It is not you who has to make a decision. He should !
This time it either should be divorce first (or at least filing for a divorce), and you after that.
Any other sequence is not advised. Unless you want to become the on-off stand-by wife.
To take him in now again - or go back to him at this moment is the wrong decision. At least in my opinion !

The best with both of you!

:)

Thanks for this advice.. Well said.. He has already filed for divorce!! :)

[Laura321]

Laura, anyone of us has really only one chance at true love and indecision will always be the downside to finding it in a lifetime.

I would say 'go for it', try again with him and good luck to you both.

:) Wise words!! Thanks for your advice

[Choux]

Don't have a relationship with him until his divorce is *finalized*, and you see the papers.

Otherwise, you are just asking for it. :)