[hiddnpain]

I am 22 years old have a beautifal wife and two sons , I'm am enjoying every moment of being the dad I wish I had. But once in a while this deep dpression comes over me about my own father, I first met him when I was 10. We became the best of friends and as long as I had nothing of value he wouldn't steal from me.he may not have been a good dad but a better friend I will never find. One night I was drunk and startde a big fight about where he was while I was growing up and I think I really hurt his feelings.after that we stopped taling, which happens but we always forgave each other, instead this time the call wasn't fron him is was to let me know he had passed away, the crack exploded his heart. I am finding very hard to deal with even though its been three years. If anyone has gone through a similar situation I would love the advice I don't know what to do and the only time I can cry is when I've been drinking. It is not right for my family to go through this , so if anyone has any advice I would deeply appreciate it

[DaBaAd]

Alcohol will only deepen your depression and make you feel worse. It's a downer. You are right in that you know it's not right for your family to suffer through this when you can get some help. Talk it out with a trusted professional. Get the help to be the Dad you want to be to your two sons.

In return they'll love you for it! In tribute to your Dad :)

[Fr_Chuck]

Best thing, straighten up your life, Drinking will only destroy your own family NOW, Try AA and get your life in order first, During the steps in AA addressing this will be part of it.

Make your life and your relationship with your own family something for his memory.

[hiddnpain]

It is not like I drink all the time or stay drunk all day its just that I only feel the grief and sorrow to cry and let it out while I'm drunk that's why I'm here I am looking for other ways to deal with my pain I would love to talk to some one else who's parent died of an overdose an opinion of someone outside looking in but knows what I'm going through

[whatdoyouthink]

Try Talking To Your Wife Instead Of Drinking I Lost My Father When I Was 14 And My Husband Just Lost His Mother 3 Months Ago You Just Have To Hang In There And Pray For God To Help You And Give You The Strength You Need To Carry On Bc Your Wife And Your Kids Need You I Wish You The Best

[hiddnpain]

Thank you and I wish you to the best

[Flying Blue Eagle]

Hiddennpain- I lost my father when I was only 45, I lost my morther when I was only 21, She died from a heart attact , her heart just exploted one night, Dad did drink quite a bit after that,trying to drown his loss also, ( but it don't help) I saw that in him,It just made things worse, in a lot of ways, manly in HIS HEALTH, ( Just as it will yours). Dad died of cancer, a lot of it was caused from his drinking, Trying to drown your sorrows is NOT THE ANSWER!! GOD IS THE ANSWER!! YOU and your lovely family start going to church and get involved in church activties( TALK TO YOUR PASTOR< OR even a good ( PSYCHIATRIST) There is NOTHING wrong with going to one . HID , Living in the bottle will get you into trouble one day, you may even loose the ones that you really LOVE AND MEAN EVERYTHING TO YOU . DO LIKE THE OTHERS HAVE SAID TO YOU. I will tell you this ( MY father and I were very close And when he died ,I thought the world had came to an end, But threw my wife and children and most of all ( GOD ) I got threw it , I admit I still miss him , BUT I KNOW THAT HE IS NOW A LOT BETTER OFF< HE IS NO LONGER IN ALL HIS SORROW AND PAIN . I HOPE THIS LETTER WILL WAKE CYOU UP AND YOU WILL SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL ( Before IT IS TO LATE ), PRAY TO GOD FOR HELP< GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS< :: F.B.E.

[IM4U]

Turning loose a parent is tough. The loss is compounded when there were problems in the relationship.

You are already doing a good thing by opening yourself to your grief and reaching out for help. I think it will be helpful if you keep doing that.

Complicated relationship issues sometimes require very skilled support. You might consider some of the suggestions already offered about getting help.

One struggle that may be tough right now could be the finality of the relationship without any further opportunity towad resolution of whatever needed to be resolved. It might be helpful to consider the value of having had as much of your dad as you did have. Turning loose a loved one permanently from this life is hard, but you can move through it. It is a process and not a start-stop event. I find that those who don't try it alone have "a leg up."

I, too, suggest turning toward God and those who can help you with that. Here's my vote also to get help to leave off the drinking or any other kind of non-prescribed drugs. Your efforts to medicate your pain that way could drop you into a dark hole.

Pastor, doctor, counselor, family, friends at work and church--these could be your "make it through" team. Maybe you could recruit them soon.

This response is offered as the opinions and observations of the writer and not as professional counsel. Anyone choosing to apply these thoughts assumes responsibility for the results.

[svleslie]

Hey! I'm 21 and I lost my dad 3 years ago. He was the best dad in the world. I drank for about 3 months straight after his death. It was really hard for me because he was my best friend. Sometimes still when I see girls with their dads I become envious because I miss mine so much.
It sounds that you are very proud of being a dad and a husband, and I'm sure that you have plenty of love at home. You will get through it!

[joanne 1986]

Hi I lost my dad 18yrs ago now when I was 4,there's not a day go by where I don't think of him and I get so angry because he is gone.drinking through the pain will not ease it permanently,when you are down think of all the good things you and your dad did,that's what I do an it keeps me going at times I just wish I had of had more time with my dad the pain will always be there,give it time it will get better.