[theconfusedguy]

Hey how are you guys doing. I posted once before about something of this nature and I'm back again for some advice. Good news is things have progressed well since my last post and we have grown closer but not back to 100%. Anyway these are my questions about my girlfriend that I have. Ok quick run down, had some problems with my girlfriend of 2 1/2 years saying she is confused and doesn't know what she wants. Now she likes me more and enjoys being around me which is cool and things seems to be getting better. I just have a few problems with some things that have been said recently and maybe I'm reading too much into them because I'm trying to analize them so I don't get surprised again and instead she just take them at face value...

1)

Is it possible for a woman to be in the mood and then during the act loose interest?
( This is quiet confusing for me cause guys don't have this happen like almost never )

2)

This was said today and it's weird. My girlfriend is having a commitment type issue thing and she doesn't know if she wants to be with me as far as marriage and kids... and she was telling me that one of the things that she feels is wrong with her is she looks at other guys and stuff and they peak her curiousity. ( As you can see she is quiet honest with me on things ). And she was like I don't think I should feel that way because with her ex of 6 years she said she never even thought like that. Well mind you her ex of 6 years was on again off again, arguing and fighting, break up, get together, etc etc, and he cheated on her. So with that said I don't think it's fair to compare feelings to something like that. So anyway she basically said she wouldn't do anything, but doesn't think that's right, like she is guilty for having feelings. It seems like she is either making excuses or finding ways to postpone loving me again or something. I don't know but she was like I wouldn't do anything because of loyalities and stuff and she doesn't think she should feel like that which is another reason she hasn't decided if she wanted me cause of how she feels, etc. To me it seems like an excuses and people are human and are going to think things, just wish she wouldn't tell me outloud. Lol. Know what I mean?

Anyway any help or responses to these would be awesome. Thanks !

[JBeaucaire]

Everyone is attracted to new people all the time. It happens every day, married people, single people, committed, available, old, young, priests and doctors.

It's natural. To think anything otherwise is simply ignorant of how the universe works. Noticing and being attracted to the oppositie sex is instinctual and perfectly fine. No one should ever be punished for the mere noticing of and acknowledging attraction to another person, even if that person isn't your mate.

Now, ACTING on those instincts is NOT the same thing. Being mature means taking those sexually charged energies home to you devoted loved one, or simply ignoring them altogether. You don't focus on them, you don't fuel them, you never pursue even the first step towards examining them, they are inappropriate unless you are single and available.

If you're not, you ignore them, like a bratty friend trying to get you in trouble.

Tell your girl you have no control over noticing other women, and find it refreshing that your libido is still alive and strong. But you bring those energies home to her, and always will. She should just treat those feelings for others the same way.

[bridgettemarie]

JB is absolutely correct about noticing others. We are human after all.

As far as losing interest during the act I don't think that its normal UNLESS she is having issues with dryness or soreness. Besides that I can offer no advice but do sympathize with the potential for serious frustration.

[talaniman]

Stop having sex, until you figure what your going to do about this relationship.

Sounds to me like you have wishful thinking, and she is not as interested in you, as much as you are her.

I really think you should leave her alone, and work on YOU, and let her work on herself. She is not confused.