[Social-Psycho]

Threads merged

Okay so basically I have a crush on my best friend's "girlfriend", they're not really a couple actually, in the four months since he asked her to be his girlfriend they've never went on a single date and the only time they were anythig close to alone her best friend was there. So now in my mind she's single and we're pretty good friends, I asked her to go out with me once ( that was after she accepted my best friend's proposal ) but she rejected me, I left with a smile... At first I thaught it was all over, I never really liked her but then I realised that was only because in the back of my mind I thaught that she only rejected me cause she thaught my best friend was behind all this and that I obviously wouldn't betray him... well I would and I sent her an e-mail stating that I was acting alone but still said it was a set-up.. you know... to save my reputation, she replied exactly what I thaught, she had forgiven me but she thaught he was behind this and that's when I got really desperate.
Lately there's been a rumor about me being in love with her and vice versa since we became such good friends, I decided to back off and stopped talking to her, she noticed and I told her why I wasn't talking to her on msn, after that we started seeing each other in secret at school, that didn't work out well since we started doing so two days before the end of school but the point I'm slowly getting to is this, after forgiving me for ****ing up so bad I didn't think she'd ever talk to me, after noticing I turn around every time he hugs her and talking to me even though the whole school thinks I'm in love with her, after logging on to msn several times just to compensate for the time we weren't able to spend together at school, after suggesting we see each other in secret, is there the slightest chance she likes me the same way I think I like her? I know this post was long but if you read it all and answered you made my day, by the way I'm only 13 but I'm mature enough to understand anything you tell me in your possible answers and if I don't I'll just Google it.

[RedneckMama]

For 13, you sound incredibly mature... and well spoken too... (or written anyways)...
You sound 'man' enough to try and handle the direct approach with her if she is someone you truly feel interested in getting to know better... keep in mind that you run the risk of losing the friendship you have with your best friend once you put yourself out there by letting her know how you feel about her, since he technically has already 'claimed' her as his girlfriend.. and she is letting herself be claimed by him as well, even if they don't have that much contact...

She may be willing to break it off with him to go with you... but have you thought about what might happen if she's not... and you ask anyway?

No one can tell you for certain if she's interested in you... it seems so if she's meeting up with you in secret and having on line conversations together with you; but she could also just really enjoy the attention you're giving her... as well as the fact that you seem willing to give up your friendship for her--women just love the IDEA of a man willing to sacrifice everything for that one girl... BUT you really have to weigh the pros and cons of your final action beforehand... your friends can be very important to you, especially during those high school years; but if it's true love you feel... you can't deny that either...

Ask her flat out how she feels about you... put the ball in her court, let her tell you she's willing to break it off with your friend before you make any major moves...

Good luck... and don't forget... you're 13, you have PLENTY of time left for girls... don't rush heartache, there's plenty of it to go around..

[tiamokiss]

Okay so basically I have a crush on my best friend's "girlfriend", they're not really a couple actually, in the four months since he asked her to be his girlfriend they've never went on a single date and the only time they were anythig close to alone her best friend was there. So now in my mind she's single and we're pretty good friends, I asked her to go out with me once ( that was after she accepted my best friend's proposal ) but she rejected me, I left with a smile...At first I thaught it was all over, I never really liked her but then I realised that was only because in the back of my mind I thaught that she only rejected me cause she thaught my best friend was behind all this and that I obviously wouldn't betray him...well I would and I sent her an e-mail stating that I was acting alone but still said it was a set-up..you know...to save my reputation, she replied exactly what I thaught, she had forgiven me but she thaught he was behind this and that's when I got really desperate.
Lately there's been a rumor about me being in love with her and vice versa since we became such good friends, I decided to back off and stopped talking to her, she noticed and I told her why I wasnt talking to her on msn, after that we started seeing each other in secret at school, that didnt work out well since we started doing so two days before the end of school but the point I'm slowly getting to is this, after forgiving me for ****ing up so bad I didn't think she'd ever talk to me, after noticing I turn around everytime he hugs her and talking to me even though the whole school thinks I'm in love with her, after logging on to msn several times just to compensate for the time we weren't able to spend together at school, after suggesting we see each other in secret, is there the slightest chance she likes me the same way I think I like her? I know this post was long but if you read it all and answered you made my day, btw I'm only 13 but I'm mature enough to understand anything you tell me in your possible answers and if I don't I'll just google it.

Oh how cute :(! I have a friend who got the same issue, but finally they both decided to break up with the girl.. hunni! Because your still young and you can meet another, but friends aren't easy to find. And he is your best buddi. So com' on!

[ashley568]

Okay so basically I have a crush on my best friend's "girlfriend", they're not really a couple actually, in the four months since he asked her to be his girlfriend they've never went on a single date and the only time they were anythig close to alone her best friend was there. So now in my mind she's single and we're pretty good friends, I asked her to go out with me once ( that was after she accepted my best friend's proposal ) but she rejected me, I left with a smile...At first I thaught it was all over, I never really liked her but then I realised that was only because in the back of my mind I thaught that she only rejected me cause she thaught my best friend was behind all this and that I obviously wouldn't betray him...well I would and I sent her an e-mail stating that I was acting alone but still said it was a set-up..you know...to save my reputation, she replied exactly what I thaught, she had forgiven me but she thaught he was behind this and that's when I got really desperate.
Lately there's been a rumor about me being in love with her and vice versa since we became such good friends, I decided to back off and stopped talking to her, she noticed and I told her why I wasnt talking to her on msn, after that we started seeing each other in secret at school, that didnt work out well since we started doing so two days before the end of school but the point I'm slowly getting to is this, after forgiving me for ****ing up so bad I didn't think she'd ever talk to me, after noticing I turn around everytime he hugs her and talking to me even though the whole school thinks I'm in love with her, after logging on to msn several times just to compensate for the time we weren't able to spend together at school, after suggesting we see each other in secret, is there the slightest chance she likes me the same way I think I like her? I know this post was long but if you read it all and answered you made my day, btw I'm only 13 but I'm mature enough to understand anything you tell me in your possible answers and if I don't I'll just google it.

I don't think any girl is worth ruining your friendship. Although you do sound very mature you are still only 13 and you will have many heart aches and break many hearts by the time you get out of high school. But once you screw your friend there may be no going back.

[talaniman]

You obviously don't care about your friend, and neither does she, so why not come clean, and lay the cards on the table, and stop running around behind people's back. Hope you have fun with each other, and learn to play it honest and upfront.

[jrsg]

Haha, NNG said it best,
"Bros before Hoes."

Be a decent friend, and leave their relationship alone.

[Social-Psycho]

Thanks guys I decided to stay friends with her since it won't change much if we get together.. I mean it's not like we'd talk any more then we already do and I guess it'd just make things awkward between us and I don't want to risk anything anymore, and I forgot to say that he considers me his best friend but it's really just a one way street in this case. Thanks again for getting me closure guys well that's it for this post I guess.

[Social-Psycho]

All right I'm back with a more complicated situation, some of you may have read my first problem but it wasn't read that much so I'll re-write with more detail, you can skip that paragraph though because the question and what you need to know for the question's in the second one, this is just for you guys to understand my situation and how it happened:
I'd also like to add that there's a lot of text to read so you'll need a good memory cause that's basically what happened between us in the last year with the least details possible, I have more reasons but they're somewhat trivial and you'd also need a lot of patience.

My best friend from... well since I learned how to read fell for a girl waaaay out of his league, the kind of girl in my league unfortunately in my head I classified her grade A cause she looked so damn good and in our school, good looks and good personnalities never really mixed so when I saw her picture on his phone and guessed so I said "go for it" only because over the years we drove apart, he was staying as simple as I first met him and I liked having a puppet to move at will and thought it fun to see his heart get crushed, I'm not a bad person he just only learns things the hard way. Long story short she wasn't as bad as I thought, in fact for over half of this year I thought I fell for her but I just told myself that I felt this way only because I always surpassed him in every single way... even relashionships. When he finally popped the question, a week after valentines day; the very day I guess I guess I hallucinated the fact that she asked me to be her boyfriend cause she didn't seem to remember anything when I tried to bring it up; she accepted his proposal because she knew all along that he liked her and even though I like this about her she was unfortunately a loving soul and couldn't bare to reject a guy as fragile in every was as him. When he told me he hooked up with her, I couldn't believe it.. so I went out and asked her out to check if she'd brake up with him in a snap but deep inside I felt like she'd reject me, not because I'm me but because she didn't know me enough to realise I wasn't too close to my supposedly best friend and she did reject me for that very reason, she actually thought that he sent me to ask her out, she told me so when I lied and said I was only trying to make sure he dosen't get screwed again, at that time I was convinced that she really liked him this way I even thought that I didn't like her that way because I left with a smile but at the second she told me her suspicions my smile faded, I realised I knew it all along and that I wasn't free of that feeling, I was only just beginning to face the consequences of my acts. Months later rumors started, they said I was in love with her, some said she loved me and others that we both felt the same way about each other but the rumor that I loved her prevailed and became the main thing I'd hear about, I've been confronted more then once and asked if it was true, once I even turned red from the pressure because it lasted over half an hour, they didn't hurt or even threaten to hurt me, they just tried to destroy my reputation and confidence, unintetionnaly but the act was still there, I came to think that thy wanted this to happen, I'm known to be skinny, but strong, quiet but only when I'm expected to be, overall evrything at once. So to make sure I don't drag her reputation in the dirt with me I just stopped talking, laughing with and getting near her, then I eventually apologised and told her the rumors were killing me, she was apparently ignoring them so then she had the idea that we were to meet in secret if we couldn't meet in public, the only thing that idea did was reinforce my theory, the one where she likes me as much as I like her. That's where I left last time.


Well turns out that after all that I decided that it was good enough that we were friends and that I don't need her to acknoledge me as her boyfriend or to tell me she has feelings for me but now that school's over and I didn't have the convenience of seeing her every day I noticed that I couldn't spend too much time without talking to her, in only 5 days we sent each other a total of 410 text messages, the only thing that stopped us was her 10 day trip to spain although I litteraly spent the whole 24 hrs before that trip texting her, those ten days were litteraly ed up for me, on the eve of the last day my 4th dream in which she appears since she left was the weirdest and I just refuse to talk to anyone about it and this site isn't an exception, lately I went to see a movie with her and her friend for it not to be weird, and it was nice, nothing happened and all three of us talked for about 20 minutes until her friend's mom came to pick them up. I was just happy because I got to see her, about 3 days ago, we were talking and ended up talking about her relationship with my "best friend" she directly said that she accepted out of pity not only because she didn't want to brake him but also because he was the guy who was the further away from trying to.. well be a good boyfriend. Also I found out I might have Bipolar Disorder, although I'm going to ask about that in about five minutes when I told her about my doubt she went on wikipedia to check it out and thought she might have it too, the main part I see in it is that we're both creative, she draws extremely well and I'm seemingly a good ( comedy ) writer.

So now considering all we've been through, where the hell do I stand in her point of view?

[N0help4u]

Sounds like if she breaks up with her boyfriend and goes with you there will be tons of rumors and your friend will be hurt and hating you.

[talaniman]

You two creative people may deserve each other, and I shouldn't have to explain it to you, as you have a guy caught in the middle, while your being selfish, deceptive, backstabbers.

The bad part is you don't care.

Posted June 7th by T-man, on your last thread.

You obviously don't care about your friend, and neither does she, so why not come clean, and lay the cards on the table, and stop running around behind people's back. Hope you have fun with each other, and learn to play it honest and upfront.

Nothing has changed I see.

[Social-Psycho]

All right first off, Nohelp4U I don't see how there can be any rumors of us being together if we actually are together... if you don't mind being a bit clearer it would be nice because I don't really see what you mean.

Oh and T-man (that's what you call yourself right?), I know, it's horrible isn't it? I tried to take your advice to change but I just can't, seems to be my nature, but she isn't like me, she might be backstabbing at some level but I don't see how she's being selfish by trying not to crush him, deceptive, not yet, I guess... but she's really just afraid to lose the friends they have in common.

I just noticed something, looks like I'm saying I like her because she's as creative as I am, if that was the case I wouldn't be any better then him because he just liked her because she was hot and knew how to draw. What I meant was that what's giving me doubts about bipolar disorder was that researchers found that there's a correlation between the disorder and creativity since people like mozart had it, and considering my small freakouts I figured I had it and she says she might have it too, so that's just another thing driving me closer to her.

And finally, she won't get with me, I simply won't let her, was just afraid she might want that but if anything happens it's not going to be any good, the way I see it one of us probably wouldn't recover. Guess I didn't really make it clear and yeah, I couldn't care less but I stopped caring for things other then my family and a few of my friends a long time ago. Damn I can't post anything small here can I ? Sorry for making you all read all that every time I say anything.

I seem to have forgotten a word in the first post, wasn't "grade A" was "grade A "... oooh now I get it, no bad words well it was the b-word anyway