[yatyas75]

My 2 young daughters live full time with their mother,my ex-wife. Recently, I got a call from her husband asking me if I could take the girls for a few weeks. He explained my ex-wife is having some mental issues and is concerned leaving the girls alone with her. She started cutting herself and now has to be hospitalized and evaluated for medication. We have been divorced for about 4 years and she, her husband and I have all gotten along great. I recently settled with someone myself and at first, she and my ex-wife got along great. Then we got engaged and moved in together and things changed little by little. She sometimes gives us a hard time, for example, my 7 yr old asked my fiance' ( we hadn't yet told the kids we were engaged) if she was her step mom. My fiance' answered someday soon, maybe next year your dad and I will get married. My fiance' told me about this later that night. We brought the girls home later and apparently my daughter told her mother we were getting married. The next day my ex-wife called me and said she did not appreciate my telling the girls without consulting her first. Then explained how she had told me first before the kids when she was getting married. Just an example. My fiance' has been very supportive and never tries to go against her or her wishes and just tells me to comply with her no matter what for the kids sake. My ex-wife has never been "unstable" so to speak and surely has never cut herself before that I know of. This extream behavior started when my fiance' and I got serious and moved in together. I'm concerned for the welfare of my children. I really don't know what to do or how to go about doing it. Should I call CPS? I hate to do this but I don't know what to do. Please help!

[Fr_Chuck]

Well first you should go and get the children and bring them to your home. After this perhaps the mother will get better, if the children are not hurt. But it may give you grounds to go back to court for custody.

[rnfowl]

I would take the girls for a few weeks like asked, getting a temporary court order for full custody until your ex-wife is stable enough to raise her girls full time. When you think she is stable enough then you can talk about other arrangements with the girls. Right now the girls need you. Do not talk badly about their mother just that she is ill right now and until she gets better you are going to take care of them. If she is being admitted to the hospital this is going to be a long haul. Also, I work as a school nurse and mothers or role models that cut, lead a lasting impression and sooner or later the kids / children cut themselves. Please protect them. I have several that I am dealing with now and only wish I had another parent to turn to. Many kids that do this are from single parent homes in which the divorcées do not get along. So try to be helpful and get a temporary order.
You have two things on your side: you get along with your ex-wife and so doesn't your fiancé even though the situations may be tough. Congrats to that. The girls will benefit from your civil relationships.

[NowWhat]

This is a tough one. This seems to be new behavior judging by what you have written. Since your ex has never shown that she is a danger to your girls in the past - my first thought is to take them as requested and let your ex get the help she needs. Monitor the situation closely. Once she is home and if things don't change - then act.

Before all of this started - have you ever thought your girls were in danger? If she can get the help and be "normal" again - would you have any problem letting the girls be with their mom?

We all go through things at times and it sounds like you all have a pretty stable relationship with one another. That in it self is a gift.

I would tread lightly.
Good Luck.

[yatyas75]

Thank you all for the responses. I will definitely take the girls as asked my by ex-wifes husband and will keep in close contact with him while she is in the hospital. One of you had mentioned not saying negative things about her to the kids. We strongly agree. No matter what happens, or has happened in the past, we (my fiance' and I) both strongly feel, it is our responsibility to these children to be positive parents. Being a responsible parent means the best interest in the children, in turn we both believe no matter what happened between the father and mother it is not the children's fault. Therefore, their mother is their mother and they love her no matter what. It is our responsibility as a parent and step parent to support our children's positive thoughts toward their mother and we have always done that. Once again, thank you all for your answeres.