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aiyerrc · May 3, 2008, 10:09 AM

LONG BUT PLEASE READ!!

hey all, let me lay it out for you

last spring I met this girl who I really really liked. We spent an amaing week together, spending every night together and getting along great. We had a genuine strong connection. Unfortunately, because I so blindly liked her, I started to smother her and as we all know, will push any girl away. And she dropped off the map for the summer. Well last fall, during the first week of school, we randomly saw each other at a partty, and she was basically following me around the whole night. Eventually we got to talking again and had a great time together, and I went back and spent the night at her place. Now, tak into mind, we didn't even have sex, nor did we the previous spring. The next day, I asked her if she wanted to come to the pool, and she said she was sick, so I kind of left it at that. By this time I was over any feelings I had for her in the spring, even though it took me 2 months to do so.

fast forward to the end of February. She was back with there boyfriend she had before she met me, and I was dating a girl in her sorority, so we ended up seeing each other at their sorority formal. She couldn't take her eyes off me the whole night, and I could clearly tell she was very happy to see me. A week later, I saw her randomly and asked her if she wanted to come to my fraternity date party and she said yes. We had a great time togetherm joked about what happened the prvious spring and ended up making out in the car on the way while I was dropping her off because her boyfriend would be home at 2am an that's when she had to be back. After that, we continued to text here and there over the next month or so until we had another ate party that I asked her to.

she again said yes and we again had a great time. We didn't kiss but we had fun. 2 days later she called me wanting to come hang out so we went to a party together and agaian we kissed. That was a Friday. By Sunday, she had broken up with her BF because he cheated on her, supposedly. She called me the second she did so and we talked for a while.

not wanting to make the same mistake I did the first time, I gave her space. Later the next week, she called me and askd what I was doing and we ended up going to the bars together and going back to her place and hanging out. I didn't spend the night and we didn't even kiss. The next week or so, we hung out here and there, went to the pool together, went to a moviem she cam and watched and a movie at my house. I was having fun with her but we still hadn't kissed since she broke up with her BF. I take it as we were taking things slow.

finally, last Saturday, we spent all day at a crawfish boil, I took her out to dinner, and we went to the bars. I had a great time with her and she did with me. After the bars we came back to my place and made out for hours and she spent the night with me. She was saying things such as... I WAS ALWAYS SCARED TO REALLY LIKE YOU... WHY I ASKED... BC I WAS AFRAID I WOULD LIKE YOU TOO MUCH. Anyway she was on her period so making out was all we could do(not that I'm implying we would have done more). Anyway, we hung out a few days later and went to see baby's momma. We didn't kiss though. I asked her to a braves game tonight and she's coming so that's good.

SO

she talks to me about other dates she's been on like she wants a reaction out of me and also, last night, one of my friends said he saw her at the bars standing in between some guys legs.

I know she likes me but here's the thing; I don't want to make the same mistakes I did the first time through. At the same time, I want her to know I'm interested. I dodnt want her to be saying yes to all these dates I ask her on just because she's trying to get over her BF. I don't want to just be another guy she's dating. I know that's asking a bit much, but if she's making out and shaking with the other guys she's dating, which she's told me she's not, she's not that type of girl... blah blah blah. I just need some direction in where to take all this and how to approach it because I really don't want to screw this up again.

I know this is long ut thanks for reading. Feel free to ask me any questions all be on all day

bigbird213 · May 3, 2008, 10:44 AM

She left her boyfriend from you and your expecting her to take your relationship seriously...

Simply put, I wouldn't.

She cheated on her ex for you, why wouldn't she do the same to you?

Sad Soul · May 3, 2008, 11:55 AM

This is your goal: a monogamous and trusting relationship.

(1) This girl cheated on her boyfriend.

(2) You suspect she's a cheater and your friends have seen her standing between another man's legs at a bar?

Your goal isn't possible with this woman. It can be possible with an honest woman, aka another lady. If you change your goal to going after a deceitful and unstable relationship, then continue sticking around her.

nickshehe · May 3, 2008, 02:45 PM

This girl seems to be playing with her own rules.. Like the above posters have stated, she doesn't seem to want anything serious.. If you genuinely like her then I would suggest removing your feelings from the equation and moving on.. If you can live with a "no strings attached" approach then- go for it

talaniman · May 3, 2008, 06:38 PM

Why go back for more hassles than its worth, when you can move forward into new, and better territory?

aiyerrc · May 4, 2008, 07:46 PM

She's not technically cheating one me because we aren't even dating, but I think we both know we lik each other. I spent the night at her house last night but we didn't even kiss. She has tol me she doesn't want to date anyone for a while, and to be honest neither do I. I just wanted to know what was going on with us. She said I was the only boy she had even kissed since she broke up with her BF. And personally I am an advocat of once a cheater, always a cheater, but there is something more to our relationship than we both want to admit right now. The only time she has cheatd on her BF is with me, and I think it's that strong connection, THAT SHE HAS ADMITTED TO HAVING JUST LAST WEEK, that caused it. This isn't just a fling as I said earlier, this is something real, and I don't want to screw it up...

talaniman · May 5, 2008, 05:00 AM

but there is something more to our relationship than we both want to admit right now. The only time she has cheatd on her BF is with me,

Don't know if you realize how your already justifying her behavior, and defending her cheating, just because it was with you. Your in way to deep, to fast, and are completely blind. That's okay, we all learn painful lessons when we leap before we look.