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confusedgirl123 · May 3, 2008, 04:04 PM

Hello I'm Kayla. I am 14
I recently started seeing this guy that's 17
Well we kind of hit it off
And it was only two days ago,
But he has premature ejaculation
It took 30 seconds till he came
He said he would pull it out before he come
Sept he did inside me using no condom
I started taking the pill a week before..
So I'm not sure if that would have helped!
But I'm really scared I would never tell my mum..
Please help.. thank you.

templelane · May 3, 2008, 04:16 PM

You risk much worse than pregnancy for not using a condom, all sorts of STDs that can leave you with anything from just some embarrassing uncomfortable symptoms to infertility and constant pain to life threatening diseases. Go to the local sexual health clinic and get tested and educated.
Types of STDs: Information for Teens

Also the pull out method is a waste of time, it doesn't work the penis secretes some sperm containing fluid as lubrication before ejaculation.

Thankfully you were taking the contraceptive pill. No form of birth control is 100% effective except abstinence. Sex = babies. However if you have been using it correctly and it was over seven days since you started you will have greatly reduced the risk of pregnancy. I cannot say for certain how long you have to have been taking the pill before it starts to offer it's maximum (not 100%) protection. I believe this can vary between types.

You owe it to yourself to know what you are doing and the full risks involved. If you are adult enough to have sex you are adult enough to read a couple of pamphlets and go to the sexual health clinic, didn't they explain these things to you when you were put in the pill?

Also you might wan to know that there are many countries where a 17 year old having sex with a 14 year old is statutory rape. Check what the law is in you country, you do not want your boyfriend labelled a sex offender for the rest of his life do you?

That being said try not to panic about being pregnant it could delay your period through worry.

Alty · May 3, 2008, 04:24 PM

Usually the doctor recommends that you use another form of birth control for at least one month after starting the pill. I don't have any statistics about the chances of you getting pregnant 1 week after starting the pill so I cannot tell you what your chances are.

No birth control method is 100% effective except abstinence, so if you are having sex then there is always the possibility of pregnancy, even with birth control, that's the chance you take when deciding to become sexually active. If you aren't ready for a baby then you shouldn't have sex, that's the bottom line.

The pill does absolutely nothing to prevent STD's, even a condom isn't 100% effective in preventing STD's, but not using a condom is like playing russian roulette, you will get hit sooner or later. Please use a condom always!

Lastly, and you aren't going to want to hear this, but, you are only 14 years old, you are no way mature enough to be having sex and suffering the possible outcomes. I would re-think what you are doing, if you are too afraid to tell your mom that is a sign that you are not mature enough to deal with sex yet.

Good Luck.

J_9 · May 3, 2008, 04:44 PM

Is this the same guy as in this thread?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...me-201015.html

Alty · May 3, 2008, 04:51 PM

Wow, Synn, good call.

Honey is he 17 or 18, dating you or just having sex with you. Wow, if this is the same guy then you need to kick him to the curb very quick. And also, your chances for an STD just went up, because I bet you he's also having sex with his girlfriend.

When you have sex with someone you are having sex with everyone they've had sex with, and everyone they've had sex with etc. etc. etc. do the math, can you afford to be careless?

Sweetie you are only 14 and you are playing with fire, put down the match and walk away before you get burned.

Fr_Chuck · May 3, 2008, 05:00 PM

But remember "pulling out" is not a birth control method, they still have sperm in the early discharge that happens. So at 14 best to wait till latter in future, but always use a condom plus birth control

At this point it is not wait and see

J_9 · May 3, 2008, 05:05 PM

Originally Posted by Altenweg

Wow, Synn, good call.

Ermm, huh? Do we look that much alike? LMAO

Alty · May 3, 2008, 05:09 PM

Originally Posted by J_9

Ermm, huh? Do we look that much alike? LMAO

Jeesh, what the heck is wrong with me today? Really, I'm having a moment and it's lasting 24 hours. My apologies J, maybe I should quite while I'm ahead. Jeepers. :o

J_9 · May 3, 2008, 05:12 PM

No prob really. Synn is my sister. LOL

confusedgirl123 · May 3, 2008, 08:28 PM

People stop having conversations and help me!
And no it is not the same guy as before it's a new one!
I listened to you about the one with the girlfriend and this guy really is faithfuk and I love him,
Sept I hope too god I don't get pregnant and I've been on pill for 6 days :(

Fr_Chuck · May 3, 2008, 08:42 PM

There is no advice at this point except, use better birth control for next time ( at least two methods) but the very best advice was from everyone at 14 you should wait to have sex again for a while.

justcurious55 · May 3, 2008, 09:11 PM

Fr_chuck is right, there's nothing any of us can do to help you. Let me be blunt, you did something stupid and now you have to wait and see what the consequences are. You had unprotected sex a couple days after starting the pill. If you'd bothered to do any research on what you're taking you'd have already known that you're supposed to be using another form of because with the pills for the first month. Even without knowing that the pills are not immediately effective you should have been using a condom anyway. So 1) go get tested for STDs if you haven't already. And 2) now you get to spend the next month waiting to take a pregnancy test because it will probably be about a month before a test will be able to tell for sure. Unless you have a bood test done, then you might be able to tell a little bit sooner.

Alty · May 3, 2008, 11:09 PM

I agree with the above.

We already gave you all the advice we could.

You said help me, honey we can't stop you from doing things that aren't good for you, and that's the only kind of help you need. That's up to you, unfortunately all we can do is give you our advice. You are 14, unless you are physically, mentally, emotionally and financially ready to have a child, then you should not be having sex, period.

Now you get to play the waiting game and hope that you didn't get pregnant. Is there a chance that you are, yes, you had unprotected sex 6 days after starting the pill, there is a chance that you are pregnant, there's also a chance that you contracted an STD. Welcome to adulthood, ain't it fun?

Good Luck.

JBeaucaire · May 4, 2008, 12:12 AM

Everyone should stop and give confusedgirl a break! Just because she's 14 doesn't mean she isn't ready to have a baby and raise it just fine.

She's sexually active, and appears to be of sound mind, so OF COURSE she's thought all this through and decided that even if the birth control doesn't work (which it frequently doesn't), she's ready for all that goes with being a mother.

Her own mother has probably been an excellent role model and she's ready for whatever comes.

Also, both my kids came with my wife on the pill AND I was using a condom, a double failure... TWICE. Telling confusedgirl to use better birth control is just silly, we all know that birth control is a false sense of safety and babies are born DAILY from people who had protected sex.

Everybody knows this already, including confusedgirl. So, let's give her the benefit of the doubt here and remind ourselves that people can have sex anytime they want since at that point they are absolutely asking to be a parent. And that's their right isn't it?

Good luck to you, dear, I truly hope things work out for you the way you want. Make good choices and be content with the results, OK?

MOWERMAN2468 · May 4, 2008, 06:50 AM

Confused girl, the only advice I can give you for now is remember this:

A PENIS IS LIKE A BASKETBALL PLAYER, IT ALWAYS DRIBBLES BEFORE IT SHOOTS.

There, that is pretty simple right. Hey you look at it this way, at least she didn't want to know if she was still a virgin. LOL.

godsbabygirl267 · May 5, 2008, 07:37 PM

Can you not pick a guy that's at least close to your age? A 17 & 18 year old. That's a bit far fetched don't you think? Plus, sex is not safe, especially for a 14 year old female. Its highly likely to get and STD or be pregnant. And don't think I'm old and decrepit because I'm saying this. Im 14 like you and I believe that if you were mature enough to be having sex, you wouldn't need to be asking us if you could be pregnant. YES for goodness sakes! When you have sex you can get pregnant. It doesn't take that much. Only 1+1= baby!