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chrissymarie · Apr 29, 2008, 01:10 PM

Over the weekend I found my fiancés porn collection. First let me tell you he is a basketball coach/ social studies teacher a prodminatley black high school. I am mixed half colombian half black 19 year old girl and he is white 29 year old man. I've been out of high school for about 2 years now and am very independent for my age. I used to have issues with the fact that he taught seniors that were basically my age or a couple years younger but it faded away until now. His porn collection consists of older white men having sex with young black girls i.e. black girls on their 18th birthday, black girls pretending to be virgins, black girls in cheerleading and school uniforms and black girls pretending they don't want to have sex. I am very worried now and I feel I need wo do something but I don't know what. What should I do?

Choux · Apr 29, 2008, 01:35 PM

Sounds like he has a fixation-fetish for young black girls.

chrissymarie · Apr 29, 2008, 01:40 PM

Originally Posted by Choux

Sounds like he has a fixation-fetish for young black girls.

But do you think it will lead to him preying on girls at the high school he works at?

Choux · Apr 29, 2008, 01:47 PM

Yes... I would report him to the police, but I feel I can't tell you to do that. He is a high school teacher in possession of child pornography. The porn is advertised as using "18 year olds" but that is just a cover-up for distributing child porn.

Take care of yourself...

chrissymarie · Apr 29, 2008, 02:09 PM

Originally Posted by Choux

Yes....I would report him to the police, but I feel I can't tell you to do that. He is a high school teacher in possession of child pornography. The porn is advertised as using "18 year olds" but that is just a cover-up for distributing child porn.

Take care of yourself....

Is this really that serious. He never speaks of wanting to have sex with young girls and after I found the porn I tested him and roll played like I was a school girl in one of my old costumes from last halloween. It didn't turn him on. He was actually annoyed. I'm really confused.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 29, 2008, 04:35 PM

Well how often does he watch the porn ? He is adicted to the porn ?

But sorry he already sounds like one to me.

Xrayman · Apr 29, 2008, 04:40 PM

Okay you are 19 he is 29 he is a white man and you are black? I don't understand you. Of course he likes young black girls-holy crap.

This fetish is a problem for him if his school/pricipal/teachers/mothers/fathers of the schoolgirls finds out-so I think he was worried about you doing the Schoolgirl thing. It would worry me if a teacher/coach has a fetish about 14-year-old white schoolgirls (like my daughter) was working at her school!

I think you may have to tell him-the porn is out! Or you are...

Revised 31st April 08... Thanks for the reddie-that helps. I was trying to help you-you could have just replied on the forum.. Either way, does he want to dispose of his "out of date porn"? Or is he just still waiting for the next opportunity to fantasise? A teacher/coach should not be doing this PARENTS WOULD BE HORRIFIED IF THEY FOUND OUT!

DrJ · Apr 29, 2008, 05:03 PM

OK.. definitely do NOT go running to the cops.. you could jeopardize an innocent mans career over something that could be nothing at all. He is with you.. and you are a 19-year old black girl... why wouldn't he want some porn with 18-19 year old back girls?

Just because he looks at porn doesn't mean he's going to go pedophile on kids at the school he teaches.

Teachers should have the right to look at porn, too.

Talk to him about it, if anything. Don't jump the gun and potentially ruin someone's life on a hunch

simoneaugie · Apr 29, 2008, 07:22 PM

I agree, running to the cops may ruin his career. The thing to think about is that you will continue to age. Do you want to be married to this guy when you are 40? His preferences may never affect you or the relationship. Yet, his preference is for young black girls.

Synnen · Apr 30, 2008, 05:55 AM

Originally Posted by Choux

Yes....I would report him to the police, but I feel I can't tell you to do that. He is a high school teacher in possession of child pornography. The porn is advertised as using "18 year olds" but that is just a cover-up for distributing child porn.

Take care of yourself....

Are you KIDDING?

Watching legal movies about girls who are ADULTS is suddently "child porn"?

Oh Jesus.

EVERYTHING in the media makes the 18 year old girl the standard for beauty--movies (including Disney), models, advertising, magazines, etc--and then people get ticked when someone is attracted to that?

As to the OP--YOU are a young (half) black girl. If he wasn't attracted to young black girls, he wouldn't be with YOU. I personally have always been attracted to guys who are tall, stocky, and shave their heads. Does that mean Mr. Clean is pornography for me?

Oh please. Seriously. If the porn in general concerns you, talk to him about it. But I sincerely doubt that he's a closet pedophile just waiting for his students to come on to him.

chrissymarie · Apr 30, 2008, 07:06 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Well how often does he watch the porn ? he is adicted to the porn ?

But sorry he already sounds like one to me.

No I don't think so. We have way too much sex for him to even have time to watch porn. I found in a box in the garage.

chrissymarie · Apr 30, 2008, 07:36 AM

Originally Posted by simoneaugie

I agree, running to the cops may ruin his career. The thing to think about is that you will continue to age. Do you want to be married to this guy when you are 40? His preferences may never affect you or the relationship. Yet, his preference is for young black girls.

Yes I do believe I want to be married to him forever, I don't believe his preference for loving and being attracted to me inside and out will ever change.

Choux · Apr 30, 2008, 02:35 PM

Look, folks, here in Chicagoland about every six months there is a teacher hauled out of school in handcuffs for having sexual relationships, doing strange things, viewing porn... WITH THEIR STUDENTS. Unfortunately, it is very common.

PEDOPHILES ARE LIARS... PERVERTS ARE OUT TO PERVERT THE YOUNG AND INNOCENT; THEY RELY ON THEM BEING FEARFUL AND STUPID! They rely on adults for being too passive.

Be careful, girl, this guy is one bad dude...

chrissymarie · Apr 30, 2008, 02:59 PM

Originally Posted by Choux

Look, folks, here in Chicagoland about every six months there is a teacher hauled out of school in handcuffs for having sexual relationships, doing strange things, viewing porn......WITH THEIR STUDENTS. Unfortunately, it is very common.

PEDOPHILES ARE LIARS......PERVERTS ARE OUT TO PERVERT THE YOUNG AND INNOCENT; THEY RELY ON THEM BEING FEARFUL AND STUPID! They rely on adults for being too passive.

Be careful, girl, this guy is one bad dude..........

Be careful meaning? This doesn't answer my questions. That's just a statement.

Xrayman · Apr 30, 2008, 04:03 PM

He is entitled to watch porn too and we discussed the factr that men don't sit and watch an enitre porn movie they go to the scenes they like and watch those. And he likes the more mature scenes.

And this,

Young black girls is his preference he admitted last night. But he also said young black girls 18 and up out of high school.

Just make me think you are buying perhaps a little too much "spin". Form him you are a little niave-I hope I'm wrong but I'd watch him like a hawk. Sorry, but I KNOW and understand this fetish-it doesn't just "go away" over time.

progunr · Apr 30, 2008, 04:39 PM

WOW!

This one scares me! Not the guy, some of the answers!!

OK, "in a box, in the garage". What does that tell you about how much he is "enjoying" this porn now?

You said you guys have a very good sex life? So, when he didn't have a real person, that fit into his preferences, this was his substitute, and a very cheap imitation, substitute at that.

Don't call the cops! Period.

I understand the paranoia, and concern, but didn't we learn anything from the Salem Witch Trials?

If the porn is in the garage, and you are in his bed, I think you are making way to big a deal out of this.

Synnen · May 1, 2008, 06:14 AM

Originally Posted by Choux

Look, folks, here in Chicagoland about every six months there is a teacher hauled out of school in handcuffs for having sexual relationships, doing strange things, viewing porn......WITH THEIR STUDENTS. Unfortunately, it is very common.

PEDOPHILES ARE LIARS......PERVERTS ARE OUT TO PERVERT THE YOUNG AND INNOCENT; THEY RELY ON THEM BEING FEARFUL AND STUPID! They rely on adults for being too passive.

Be careful, girl, this guy is one bad dude..........

And here in Minneapolis, there are hundreds of magazines for sale at the grocery store, all featuring sexy young women and how to be JUST like them.

So if all teachers are closet pedophiles, all women want to regress to being a sexy teenager that stars in a porn movie.

Get real. Seriously.

MOST porn is about YOUNG women. You don't see very many porn movies (though they do exist!) about a 20-something guy wanting to nail an 80 year old woman. About the closest most get is the MILF movies about women in their 20s.

If it was in a box, in the garage, that would indicate to me that it was something he himself had used when he was younger--perhaps even close to the age of the women in the videos!

For god's sake, not every man who watches porn is an addict, or a pedophile, or has no idea how to connect with a "real" woman.

amIwrong · May 1, 2008, 06:22 AM

I agree, using recreational tools is not a bad thing, having a fetish is not a bad thing. Something about this, comes off as a bit disturbing to me for some reason. I am not sure I have any reason or grounds to say that. If nothing else couples counseling would not be a bad idea, seriously, because someone, a third party needs to determine if this harmless or not. I mean, you will want to know if you were just a person to fulfill a fantasy or someone he clearly wanted to have a relationship with. I think his willingness to sort this out will give you the answer you need. He may not be wrong, but someone needs to be involved to determine that. Since you are emotionally involved he may dismiss what you say, as sad as that may be. Sometimes people are more receptive when an outside, impartial person shares an educated opinion.

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Well how often does he watch the porn ? he is adicted to the porn ?

But sorry he already sounds like one to me.

amIwrong · May 1, 2008, 06:27 AM

I agree. I mean, if he were looking at something that had actual children in it I would be a bit disturbed and that would call me into action no doubt. The touchy part of all this I think that your hinting to is that you feel he may be attracted to his students, underage students, who aren't children per se but not legal. I don't think the porn is really the issue here then is it?

Originally Posted by Synnen

And here in Minneapolis, there are hundreds of magazines for sale at the grocery store, all featuring sexy young women and how to be JUST like them.

So if all teachers are closet pedophiles, all women want to regress to being a sexy teenager that stars in a porn movie.

Get real. Seriously.

MOST porn is about YOUNG women. You don't see very many porn movies (though they do exist!) about a 20-something guy wanting to nail an 80 year old woman. About the closest most get is the MILF movies about women in their 20s.

If it was in a box, in the garage, that would indicate to me that it was something he himself had used when he was younger--perhaps even close to the age of the women in the videos!

For god's sake, not every man who watches porn is an addict, or a pedophile, or has no idea how to connect with a "real" woman.

JudyKayTee · May 1, 2008, 08:13 AM

Originally Posted by chrissymarie

No I don't think so. we have way too much sex for him to even have time to watch porn. I found in a box in the garage.

Lots of people who have "way too much sex" have time to watch porn. Or are perverts. Or both. Only you know this situation... and him. Lots of women are s-o-o surprised when "he's" arrested because "they have sex all the time."

Would I report him? No. Would I think twice about marrying him? Yes.