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Ramblin · Apr 29, 2008, 05:51 AM

Okay, I feel like whenever a friend has an issue, I know exactly what they should do, but when it's you in that situation, it's hard t give yourself the same advice...

Okay, I've been dating a girl for 7 months now and everything has gone very well... it's a semi-long distance relationship (2 hours away), but she often comes up from school on the weekends... well, school is about to end and she'll be much closer (30 min away) so things should be easier right? We can see each other more often, won't have to just wait for the weekends, can do some of the things that we've been wishing to do if we lived closer... BUT... For some reason we hit a road bump. Nothing wrong has happened but we seemed to have maybe hit a plateau. She's been stressed with finals, roommate confrontation, and other small things that have added up... I saw her last weekend and we were fine but just a little frustrated with one another at times... but overall everything was fine. I recommended taking a day or two to take time to get back on track... she didn't like the idea so we carried on... the next day she says that maybe we should take a few days off (no talking on phone)... last night started the no talk and I obviously should give her this time-which was my idea in the first place, but honestly, I'm having a hard time accepting it... lastly, she asked me the other day if I would put a picture of us together as my Facebook picture (facebook, the root of all evil) and I jokingly said, 'we're not quite there yet'... she gave me a hard time for a second about that but nothing big. So, here's the question... I don't really know if she is taking this time to just clear her head from these small little things adding up or if she is doing this as a test and wants me to break down and chase her... we've never really fought before and she has said before, "i think we need to have a fight, you're just too cool with everything". Again, there is no unfixable problem here, just caught in a weird rut and I don't know whether to wait it out (could be a day, could be several) or to be the one to end it and get back on track without the silence.

*One last thing... my ex of three years (we broke up one year ago) has started contacting me again- the breakup was mostly her doing, but is now single again and has been calling and texting several times a week. I casually respond and have had one or two 5-10 min talks with her on the phone... with the current now wanting to go silent and the ex looming around, my head is all over the place... I know the right thing to do but I need to hear it elsewhere... need some guidance!

Alty · Apr 29, 2008, 07:27 AM

Give her some time and space and forget about the ex, NC for the ex, that's the way to go.

Sounds like the current girlfriend is just going through a tough time and needs to deal with all the stuff going on in her life right now before she can give her full attention to you and your relationship.

I may be way off track though, maybe she thought that you wanted a break because you are the one who brought it up. Give her a few days and then call her, talk it out, that's the only way to know for sure.

Good Luck.

talaniman · Apr 29, 2008, 11:45 PM

First off, why even think about someone who dumped you before? Forget it, and focus on the relationship in front of you. I would call in a few days, just to see how she feels. Talk and listen, and go from there.

Ramblin · Apr 30, 2008, 07:57 AM

Thanks for the advice... everything has been smoothed over for the most part... just a little bump in the road. First one of those in 7 months. So I can't really complain.

As for the ex, the satisfaction you get when they try to contact you once again is hard to explain. It validates the No Contact effeorts that you put forth. It took a few months to completely buy into it, but once you get over the hump you will see things continually getting better and out of that funk. If I didn't I never would have been in the right mindframe to meet someone else...

In my personal situation, I brought up the ex because I know that I am totally removed from that relationship, but I agree, it's probably not the best thing to meet her (even if my current relationship were to end). Again, thanks for the advice!