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Junior Member
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Mar 11, 2010, 12:17 PM
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Girlfriend said she needs space.
Threads merged
My girlfriend and I have been living together for almost 2 years. Before I got a job, she was happy. I would wait for her to come home and she said she was always looking forward to coming home and hanging out with me.
Ever since I got a new job, our schedules don't allow us to do this. I work from 7am-3pm. She works from 3pm-2am. Basically, when I get home, she's just leaving to go to work. When she gets home, I am sleeping.
I been working for the past month and just last week, I felt an empty feeling inside. We stopped having sex and hugging each other at night. I asked her if she felt the same and she said she is SAD and unhappy. She said its because of my job. She said I ignored her. She now says she's had enough and wants to be alone. She is so firm on her decision. I asked her if there anything I could do to fix it , but she's so firm! She said she made up her decision.
I told her ill move out but its so serious that she doesn't even want to stay at our old apt because she said it'll remind her of me. She wants to move out also to another apt. She says the aura is so sad in the apt. It wasn't sad before I got my job...
She says she wants to see if she can live without me...
IM thinking this is all BS. Just to get me to leave so she can start something new with someone else.
She said she just has to go through this phase of seeing if she can live without me so she can find herself.
She's 21, turning 22 years old.
Im so confused. Anyone would like to elaborate?
THANKS
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Junior Member
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Mar 11, 2010, 12:43 PM
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Wow, she has made things very clear for you, most people don't have that luxury in a break up. You need to accept this is probably something she's been thinking about for awhile now.
You're both so young, this is the age where you really start going through a lot of changes, you do a lot of growing up and soul searching..
She seems like a very level headed person, she needs space and time on her own to find herself and you need to respect that. Relationships and very hard work, especially when you never see each other.
I doubt she is looking into starting something new with someone else, you need to listen to what she is telling you, she needs space. But even if she did rebound with someone else, it's not of your concern anymore.
She is not willing to fight for this relationship, so neither should you. It takes two people to make a relationship work and I'm sorry to say but she's done working for it. Maybe you should take this time as well and do some growing as a person. You'll be okay, break ups suck but take this and learn from it. Best of luck.
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Expert
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Mar 11, 2010, 02:55 PM
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If that's the best excuse she has for breaking up, take it, and disappear from her life.
She has been feeling this way for a while, and whether what she is saying is true, or if its another guy, for sure the results are the same. She is dumping you, so give her what she wants, and help her pack.
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Junior Member
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Mar 16, 2010, 03:23 PM
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What are the chances of getting back? She needs space...
This is actually the 2nd time we broke up. We broke up the first time mainly because she wanted to be single and have fun. She ended up going back to her EX. I applied NC last time and she called me like 2 weeks later. We ended up getting back together.
We been together after that for 2 years. Everything is great and I'm almost sure she doesn't talk to her EX anymore. Got over him. Im also almost positive that she is not seeing other guys. I know that because of a gut feeling AND because we live together. She's works 60+ hours a week! I recently got a job which requires me to go to work at 5:30am. I get home at 3pm. When I get home, she leaves to work at 3pm and gets home at 2am when I am sleeping.
I was trying to get used to the job so for about 3 weeks, we didn't really see each other. One day she tells me that she had enough and said she didn't want to try anymore.
She said she wanted space, and wanted to be alone. SHE SAID SHE FEELS NUMB. I asked her if we could fix it and maybe spend more quality time and she said SHE MADE UP HER MIND. She don't want to try anymore. She said she wanted to see if she could live without me. She said she did not want to answer to anybody. Because she would always ask me if she could do this or that. I never asked her to ask me... She just did it on her own. She always wanted my opinion.
I so want to know the reason why she is doing this... She said we could be friends but I said NO. She said she still wanted me in her life. She gave me so many reasons I don't know which to believe. I just want closure and an answer why... I said just tell me if its someone else. My gut feeling tells me its REALLY NO ONE ELSE! She also said, she just wants a break alone and its really no one else! It's a hectic month for her at work...
What do you guys think? I already applied NC for 4 days. I moved all my stuff out and let her have the APT and all the stuff...
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Junior Member
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Mar 16, 2010, 03:40 PM
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I'm going to give you the same advise I gave you last week when you asked this question.
She needs space. She is not willing to fight for this relationship, so neither should you. It takes two people to make a relationship work and I'm sorry to say but she's done working for it as she's so blatantly told you! Maybe you should take this time as well and do some growing as a person.
She has made it painfully obvious for you that she no longer wants to be with you. You're just not listening to her. You want reasons on why she's doing this to you? She's given you plenty. She wants space, she wants to be alone, she feels numb. She wants to see if she can live without you, she doesn't want to try anymore.
Go NC and this time stick to it.
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Junior Member
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Mar 16, 2010, 03:50 PM
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Is this a legit reason to you though, American Girl? Do you think it could be someone else? This doesn't make sense to me. I would be happier if she just said, ITS SOMEONE ELSE!
Why would she want space when we already Don't even see each other!
She said just last month before I got my job, she was so happy...
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Junior Member
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Mar 16, 2010, 04:04 PM
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It doesn't matter what she said last month, my ex told me three days before breaking up with me that he couldn't wait to marry me.
She's given you very legit reasons. And quite honestly, she didn't even have to give you any reasons at all, she could have just said its over please leave. She's telling you it's not someone else, and your gut feeling tells you its not someone else... what more do you want?
Lets just say she's lying, and your gut feeling is wrong, and there is someone else. It doesn't matter, the result is the same, she's dumping you and doesn't want to be with you anymore.
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Ultra Member
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Mar 16, 2010, 04:43 PM
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Clearly there is something more going on with her. Perhaps it was you, perhaps it was her, perhaps it was the way you two were together, perhaps it's another man?? It may seem easier to know, for the sake of just knowing, but you will be all the stronger if you can accept that which you cannot fix and move on through it. You need to stay NC and move on.
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