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dq0808 · Jun 20, 2009, 07:17 PM

I've been hearing that after a break up you shouldn't talk to the person who broke up with you and give them space, and alll my friends told me the same thing but, I didn't listen, so I went out of my way constantly trying to call her and shed avoid me and say she's not ready, did I push her back so far that she will never even think about being back with me?
Did I hurt my chances?

ajGambino · Jun 20, 2009, 07:22 PM

You did not hurt your chances. A breakup is a lot more than giving space so they can want you back. When a person breaks up with you, they've been thinking about it for a while and only time can tell if she truly wants to be with you, if you give it time.

You're hurting yourself by thinking this way. You have to avoid her for yourself, not for your chances of getting back with her to increase.

You're the most important person in your life right now, don't make her out to be your life. She has something that you had... and now you need to go NC to try and get it back, and I think you know what that is.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 20, 2009, 07:22 PM

First normally when thy break up they are not coming back, So it is very likely that there was no chance except in your mind.

And if you keep calling ( sort of stalking) yes it is lucky they did not put a restraining order out if you did not know when to stop.

Next no contact is not a way to get them back, it is a way to get over them, to stop wanting them back and to move on

dq0808 · Jun 23, 2009, 09:08 AM

Threads merged.

I rele want my ex girlfriend back, what do I do when she randomly texts me and ask how I'm doing? Should I ignore her? How do I make her want me back?

liz28 · Jun 23, 2009, 09:26 AM

You can't make someone want you back. This is something that must come natural.

NeedKarma · Jun 23, 2009, 09:28 AM

Actually talk to her and ask her what's up with the texts.

I wish · Jun 23, 2009, 09:28 AM

You can't force someone to want you back. It has to come naturally.

As for your chances, because you kept contacting her, it won't make a difference. If she wanted you back, she would have told you by now.

Here are your choices:

1) You can keep playing her mind games. She ignores you, then randomly texts you, but with no intention of getting back with you. In which you will keep over-analysing every single detail.

2) Tell her one last time that you want her back, but if she doesn't feel the same way, then you definitely have to move on and not continue to drag it out.

3) Ignore her and move on with your life.

I recommend option 3.

tryintolive69 · Jun 23, 2009, 09:30 AM

Dude give it up,she's just toying with your feelings and if she keeps texting you tell her to stop. And get another girl and let her see you with her,that way you will tell if she wants you back or not.

ZoeMarie · Jun 23, 2009, 09:33 AM

She's probably trying to keep you hanging on so when she's bored she can use you. Sorry to say that, but it happens. What were the reasons for breaking up? Has anything changed? If not I would just ignore her.

MsMewiththat · Jun 23, 2009, 09:33 AM

I'm going to say not to play games. If you really want this girl back then be honest and be yourself. Let her know that you have feelings for her and that you want her back. Allow her to explain why she is texting you and go from there. You don't have to play games, it won't get you anywhere. Man up about your feelings and work through the reason why you broke up in the first place.
Good Luck

kctiger · Jun 23, 2009, 09:37 AM

My ex texted me out of the blue about two months ago. We had not talked for at least 2 1/2 months prior to that. Just a "Hey how ya doin" type thing... I wondered for about one second what it meant, then I kept on enjoying my afternoon lounging on the couch.

And No, she wasn't trying to draw me back in or anything. She had a boyfriend at the time she sent me this text. The best thing to do is just delete it and move on. I figure if she wants me bad enough, a simple text won't do it. She can come find me. Better not to let stupid things like this screw with your head.

Lonelyandbroken · Jun 23, 2009, 09:40 AM

They just want to know that your OK so they can justify their choice. Like humm well he's doing OK so I did the right thing. My response to these things "alive and kicking" Let them infer what they want as to what it means

talaniman · Jun 23, 2009, 07:20 PM

Be busy, and unavailable. Send her emails to spam, then your mind won't play tricks on you.

jlove09 · Jun 23, 2009, 08:58 PM

I did the same thing... I didn't talk to her for a day and she msged me already but I'm not going to reply cause when I broke down and cried, she wasn't there. I would only message back or communicate in any way if she decides to come back and even then I'll consider it.
Just pre occupy yourself. Work, gym and do things thatll take u away from your phone